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- Ugh, finally Courtney Stodden is doing something again. Every time she disappears for a little while I’m afraid she’s going to realize what she’s doing and never come back. But nope! Here she is, as a mermaid in a freecreditscore.com commercial. I love you, Courtney. Do change at some point, though! -Dlisted
- Here is a list titled, “What I Know In Life I Learned From Friends.” A great list, no duh, you can tell that from the title, except it’s missing somewhere around a million much more important things. Like, “Any of your friends who see themselves as ‘the funny one’ are always going to say they’re Chandler when you talk about who you’d be if you were Friends, even when they’re Ross in every other way.” Or, “Once you start talking about Friends episodes as a joke, you will not be able to stop talking about them until it’s not even kind of a joke anymore.” -EpicPonyz
- Oh, guess who else has an actor crush on Ryan Gosling? Josh Hutcherson from Hunger Games! Two of your favorite guys (one very young)! Don’t you just wish they’d kiss! -People
- Holy moly, look how much money Bridesmaids made from VOD! So much money exists in this world, guys! And so much of it goes to movies! It’s a little hard to believe sometimes! -Deadline
- Here’s a supercut of a bunch of clips of a weatherman not being very angry about the job he is doing. He seems like a happy guy. Just living life. -TheDailyWhat
- Here is an interview with Jon Glaser for you to watch. Halfway through the interview the interviewer begins getting a tattoo because doyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyyoyoyoy. -Vice
- Last night, after Rick Santorum won Colorado, Wolf Blitzer said “OMG” on The Situation Room. And here is a video of it! For all you Blitzer fans out there. AS IF! Right? “As if.” JK. -Mediaite
- Did you know that Lucy Lawless almost had a role on Parks and Recreation? It’s true! Can you guess what role she almost had? Here’s a hint: It’s a lady. Here’s another: It’s not Leslie. Do you have a guess yet??? -HuffingtonPost
Who needs a vacation? Nobody. We just took one and it was perfect. (Via @Univore.)
Ugh, finally, the only thing any of us look forward to in our entire week: THE WEEKEND ANIMAL VIDEOS! Luckily the placement of The Petting Zoo is perfect, right in the middle of the day, right in the middle of the week, to help you get “over the hump,” as they say. Before you know it you’ll be watching Must See TV on Thursday night, and then before you know you’ll be on the beach sipping some sort of, I don’t know, let’s just say some kind of sangria made with champagne. Because you’ll be on that vacation you’ve been wanting to take for so long, because that’s how fast the time will fly. After you watch these animal videos and continue on with your Wednesday. Because animalis videorum longa, vita brevis. RIGHT? Everything I’m saying is first of all so smart, second of all totally easy to understand, and third of all completely worth reading? Right. Oooook, so, let’s get down to it. The TRL of Animal Videos, except I’m the only one who votes!
Dear Women,
Please don’t take offense to what I’m about to say. As a women myself, I understand the desire to not have any interests, goals, or hobbies. Once you have a man in your life there’s always the temptation to think, “I’m finished.” “Whaaaat am I supposed to do now?” “Hmm.” “Is it time to eat a meal?” “Well oook, I guess I’ll…?” But there comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to realize that her man will eventually divorce her if she doesn’t get some interests outside of her interest in him. That’s just life. The variable is whether you find this out before, during, or after your marriage. I know this sounds scary, and trust me, it is! Not all of us are a career gal deep down. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner with other women sometimes, and it CERTAINLY doesn’t mean we can’t order a wine spritzer with our salad, if that’s what we want. It’s not as hard as it seems! Please, let’s watch this explanatory video together, and remember — men are just desserts.
Love,
Kelly
Did you guys watch The River last night? It is the new attempt to be the new Lost on ABC, created and directed by the guy who made Paranormal Activity. (For previous attempts to be the new Lost, see The Event.) The premise is that a fictional combination of Jacques Cousteau and the Crocodile Hunter had a much-beloved and long-running educational nature/adventure program but has recently gone missing in the Amazon and is now pronounced dead. But then the signal from his emergency distress beacon (how ’80s) has been picked up. The wife convinces her son that their father is still alive and they have to go looking for him, and the only way they can get the money to do so is from a reality TV crew that will only help them if they both go looking. (Supposedly the crew is actually the adventurer’s old crew, but then why are they so pushy and exploitative and weird and rude and completely devoid of compassion? They’re clearly a reality TV crew.) And so now the hunt begins and oh whoops here is a blonde girl and a pair of hispanics and a black cameraman who seems to be doing his best Idris Elba impersonation and also a British mercenary with suspicious motives because what would a horror-adventure series that rips off Lost so hard be without a British mercenary with suspicious motives? LET’S GET READY FOR MAGIC!
Phew! Were you worried that there wouldn’t be a sequel to Jaden Smith’s Karate Kid remake? Well there will be. So relax.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for celebrities to give so many interviews all the time while trying to keep their craziness under wraps. I don’t really even mean that in a jerky, condescending way. I can hardly talk to people in my everyday life while keeping my own craziness under wraps, and I BARELY talk to people. If I had to answer questions from strangers all the time I’d be just the weirdest wreck. I don’t even want to think about the kind of things I’d — WE’D, all of us, we’re all in this together — say. That being said, though, I’m not sure if there would ever be a point where we’d say this thing that THE ROCK (!!) (The Rock) said to Moviefone:
Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President.
I know that emoticons aren’t a very professional way to express how you feel about a quote from The Rock, but that is only because there isn’t an emoticon that expresses a frowning mouth with laughing eyes. The Rock!!! You aren’t going to be president, The Rock! I’m sorry. I don’t even think you can play the president in a movie! Maybe the president of a toy company who needs to pay more attention to his kids in a Christmas movie, but even that would feel a little silly. But then he also said this weird thing in response to a question about how he knew Bin Laden was dead before everybody else?
