Superman fans around the globe are on the edges of their seats awaiting the release of the new Superman movie, Man of Steel. They can’t wait for any of it! They can’t wait for the fighting, the flying, the black hair, the steely gaze — all of it! They can’t wait for the chin dimple, the kryptonite, the “S” on the Superman suit, the red cape, the underpan– WAIT, WHUUUUUUUUUUT? WHERE ARE THE UNDERPANTS?! From The Atlantic:

Snyder and other members of the Man of Steel team explain this peculiarity in an extended featurette (one that builds on the discussion, centering on how “real” the film is, from last week). Just like everything else in this movie apparently, the suit cannot be left up to fantasy. Snyder’s co-producer and wife Deborah says that it was important to her husband for the suit “to make sense.” So Superman’s new suit—sans the loincloths of Kal-Els past—is a “commonplace” get-up on Superman’s home planet of Krypton.

Sure, Snyder looked at a bunch of versions of the suit with underwear, but he just couldn’t make it work. As for the briefs, well, they were just too old fashioned, being a “leftover from Victorian-era strongmen.” No, this Superman suit is all too modern.

“On Krypton underpants don’t exist.” Is that what he’s saying? “On Krypton nobody wears underpants on the outside of their clothes and nobody wears underpants underneath their clothes either because the whole planet hates underpants so they outlawed them probably like 100 lightyears ago. Wearing underpants on Krypton is like LITERALLY their kryptonite.” That’s me explaining why Superman doesn’t have any underpants to a friend later. “I read it on a blog, seriously.” Why can’t he have his underpants?! GIVE SUPERMAN HIS UNDERPANTS, HE NEEDS THEM FOR SAFETY! KICKSTARTER 4 UNDERPANTS!

Comments (17)
  1. He’s probably wearing them under his pants like everyone else on planet Earth.

  2. So this a reboot of both Superman and Commando then?

  3. “I don’t see the problem.” – Lois Lane

  4. Last week (I think) Kelly linked to some peeps theorizing about how Superman shaves. It made me think* and I was wondering a few thing. Hopefully you can help me out:

    Does Superman sneeze? If so how do people not get injured if he violently expels super secretions?

    Has Superman ever had sex? If so how do people not get injured if he violently expels super-secretions?

    Does Superman fart? If so…

    * “think”

    • If you’ve seen the epic motion picture Superman III, you know that Superman *does* have sex. But only with bimbo girlfriends of evil super-villain CEOs after he’s been half-debilitated by tainted pseudo-kryptonite given to him by Richard Pryor that doesn’t take away his powers but only makes him a horny douchebag.

    • The idea is that he can, say, punch super hard if he wants too, but it still is an extreme effort for him to do that stuff. It’s not like he’s always pulling doors off of hinges and crushing everything he picks up. He can do laser eyes and super breath or whatever, but it’s not like he’s just constantly exerting at his full capacity at all times.

  5. I also see neither London nor France.

  6. After we resolve the underpants thing, can somebody explain this new superhero textured fabric that all the cool kids are wearing their new movies (spiderman, etc…) Whatever happened to straight up spandex?

    Althought this is all just a way around me asking, why don’t we do big budget hand-drawn versions of superhero movies? Like, studio ghibli quality. We could do some really really good stuff nowadays. Ever seen the Fleischman animated ones? they’re terrific. A full comic-book-blockbuster sized budget and you could make something pretty fantastic.

  7. Better than banana hammock Superman

  8. That’s more like it.

  9. If he’s not wearing underpants, he’s not Superman (HYPERBOLE!).

    But seriously tho, the underpants are a great element when drawing, and if you’ve seen his new ‘piped and armored’ look in the comics, it’s just a bunch of unnecessary, obnoxious lines.

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