What stories will you have to tell to acquaintances at dinner when you’re older than you are currently? So far I don’t think I have any good ones. I have scoliosis? “That’s interesting about your time spent [doing something worth talking about] in [an interesting place]. I have scoliosis and blogged in my 20s. One time I met Jared Leto.” AHHHHH! What are we doing?! I bring it up because in a recent interview with Parade, James Lipton spoke a bit about the year he spent as a pimp in Paris in the 1950s. What?! James!:

“Paris was different then, still poor. Men couldn’t get jobs and, in the male chauvinist Paris of that time, the women couldn’t get work at all. It was perfectly respectable for them to go into le milieu…

[One of the prostitutes and I] became great friends. When I ran out of money, I said, ‘I have to go home.’ She said, ‘No, you don’t. I’ll arrange for you.’ So she arranged for me to do it. I had to be okayed by the underworld; otherwise they would’ve found me floating in the Seine … I represented them a [whole bordello], but her especially. I did a roaring business, and I was able to live for a year. The French mecs didn’t exploit women. They represented them, like agents. And they took a cut. That’s how I lived. I was going through my rites of passage, no question about it. It was a great year of my life.”

That is a great story! I mean, it is a weird story and one could have numerous problems with it, I’m sure, like if you don’t like the idea of French prostitutes because you saw Les Miserable recently and Anne Hathaway did a good job, but also WHAT A LIFE JAMES LIPTON HAS LIVED! “Bring us another round of whatever, we want to hear James Lipton tell more stories.” That’s probably what it’s always like when people go to dinner with James Lipton. “Bring us another round of whatever, Kelly just started talking about trying to find an apartment in an area of Brooklyn sort of near the park, hopefully with an office type area, but for not too much money.” AHHHHHH! (Via The Huffington Post.)

Comments (15)
  1. Is that where he started using those ten questions? That had to make for some weird job interviews.

  2. Next week in Parade: Tim Gunn talks about the time he was a hitman for the mob.

  3. “I left the life of a mec after a harrowing run-in with a particularly aggressive gendarme. I booked passage on a tramp steamer out of Calais and arrived in Dover, penniless.

    After several hours busking on a street corner, performing Elvira’s monologue from Molière’s Don Garcia of Navarre, a earned enough money to purchase a ploughman’s lunch from a seedy pub called The Randy Goat. It was at this pub where I saw the proprietor make a beverage out of ice, lemons and earl grey. I copied down the recipe on the back of a discarded Blue Peter, patented the process and parlayed my misfortune into a thriving ice tea concern, branching quickly into instant soup.”

  4. I thought this headline was sarcastic; I am glad it wasn’t.

  5. Does anyone else find it hard to believe he was involved with female prostitutes and not male ones? #WhatIsThisWorldComingTo

  6. I was once on a date (#brag)(#YODO) (“you only date once”) with a young man (FELLAS) who casually started talking about how a prostitute friend of his had asked him to be her pimp and he was going to start pretty soon. ON A FIRST DATE. Like it was NBD, totally acceptable small talk. To be fair to him, it was because he drove a big old Cadillac and I was like “nice car, you should take up pimping” so it didn’t come out of nowhere, but he was definitely 100% serious.

    • I was a pimp once. A friend of mine was a driver for an escort agency and I rode along one night. I thought it would be an interesting experience. Our job was to bring the girl to an address, then wait in the car. If she didn’t come back at a preset time we were supposed to go bang on the door to make sure she was okay, and pretend we had guns.

      It passed without incident, but when we were in my hood, I asked to be dropped off because I feared the no-incident streak would break. But anyway, I was a volunteer deputy pimp for two hours.

  7. Of course he accepted her offer.

  8. Anything can happen when two people share a cell, cuz.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.