No one has ever accused Mitt Romney of being anything other than white, because everyone can see, plainly, that he is white. Although the conspiracy theory claiming that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya could have been put to rest when the President actually did end up releasing his birth certificate to the foaming-at-the-mouth public, he still has yet to account for the color of his skin. Sooooo…? For now let’s just say the whole thing is still up in the air. Just remember that if you’re allowed to visit your polling booths this November, make the “white” choice: Romney 2012. Let’s get this birther-pandering asshole into office! (Via ThinkProgress.)

Comments (39)
  1. “Who does he think he is? I am!” – Barack Obama, to Mitt Romney, regarding being American.

  2. Sweet fanny fucksticks.

    • I feel the need to comment because I am so outraged, but I can’t put together anything more coherent or appropriate than this. So… sweet fanny fucksticks!

  3. I still think he’s an alien or a robot

  4. “Hi, I’m Mitt Romney.”

    —Mitt Romney

  5. “Let’s see now, what do the crazy’s want to hear me say this week? Birther blather? Ok then.” –Mittens

  6. let’s not be too hard on him. he’s just saying what his software has programmed him to say.

  7. so this is the proof i’ve been looking for that he has been fisted by donald trump.

  8. Well, at least he’s not singing.

  9. “yes, i put my dog in a crate on the roof of our car, but I didn’t cook him for dinner” – Mitt Romney next week

  10. “No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate. Just my tax returns. And my model number.” -Mitt Romney

  11. i mean, let’s get real: being vague and having some suspicious inconsistencies in private, highly sensitive personal documents originating in remote islands off of the mainland United States is a little weird.

  12. “My parents fucked here!” -Mitt Romney

  13. Just show them your birth certificate Mitt!!! It’s not like they’re asking for your tax returns…oh wait ….

  14. Romney is SO proud of being born white in Michigan. Because it’s such an achievement!

  15. RUN BASIC ROMNEY

    10 PRINT “Hello”
    20 INPUT “Donations”
    30 PRINT “Joke” if n=racist subtext
    40 PRINT “The default color is attribute”; _DEFAULTCOLOR
    50 GOTO 10

  16. “Black presidents preside over the free like this, while white presidents preside over the free world all like this, right folks? Black presidents are all ‘I may not have even been born here,’ but like, white presidents? We’re like ‘Bam! My parents (also white) coupled right here and I popped out right into the good ol’ dirt of the U.S. of A.!’ Shit’s crazy, right? Black presidents’ motorcade drivers drive like this…” etc, etc.

    • “Yeah but black presidents are like ‘I don’t even need to front.’”

      • “Black presidents are like, ‘I’m not good at secretly being a muslim because I’m not white,’ and white presidents are like, ‘I’m white so I’m obviously not a secret muslim terrorist, and I do wear magic underwear, and MY book has Jesus in it (in AMERICA where he belongs)! You won’t find any of that in the muslim bible, which black presidents totally are like, ‘I don’t read that anyway. Also, Jesus is in the muslim bible.’ And then white presidents are all like, ‘How do you know that? You’re not a muslim! Caught you, black president!’ Because white presidents are geniuses. That’s the difference.”

  17. change headline title to: “Mitt Romney is still an asshole.”

  18. I heard Obama wants to change the American flag, to this!

  19. i like that sad little hang of his head at the end. like, he’s sad he’s saying this, and sad that it’s about to become a major shit storm about what an asshole he is, and he’s sad that everyone is cheering for his stupid fucking quips.

  20. Man, so Team Romney definitely figured out that Mitt is never going to beat Obama by appealing to moderate/reasonably minded voters. Their strategy is just to appeal to the most hateful, right-wing people in America and get them to the polls. I mean how else do you explain Paul Ryan? For a while there, people thought he would run with a female or Latino VP candidate, but it’s pretty obvious that his team decided he had no chance at securing the female/Latino vote. So instead, he’s going full-on crazy pander bear, and shit like this might not even hurt him. I mean anyone paying attention to Mitt’s multiple flubs was already going to vote for Obama, so like, why NOT wave the White Flag (non-surrendering, hateful subtype) and rile people up?

    • I think they’re hoping that there’s a lot of voter apathy and no one shows up at the polls but old people.

      see also: all of the new voter restriction laws (just in case the apathy doesn’t work).

    • I read an account of this from a journalist at this rally and apparently the entire press corps at the event sighed sadly as the crowd rejoiced at his little “quip.”

      I cannot help but think maybe this crowd was just cheering for their hometown like they do at music concerts. I mean I know that this is not the case, but maybe if I will myself to believe it my head will hurt less?

  21. “Yes, I’m still Mitt Romney. Hey again.”

    —Mitt Romney

  22. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. “Mitt Romney here. Hi, remember me? Hey. Just running for president. I just want that job so much, you know, because…huh. I don’t know why. Why would anyone want that job? Well, no reason, then.”

    —Mitt Romney

  24. “Mitt Romney.”

    —Mitt Romney

  25. meep morp

    clack-clack-clack

    BEEP

    —Mitt Romney

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