I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for celebrities to give so many interviews all the time while trying to keep their craziness under wraps. I don’t really even mean that in a jerky, condescending way. I can hardly talk to people in my everyday life while keeping my own craziness under wraps, and I BARELY talk to people. If I had to answer questions from strangers all the time I’d be just the weirdest wreck. I don’t even want to think about the kind of things I’d — WE’D, all of us, we’re all in this together — say. That being said, though, I’m not sure if there would ever be a point where we’d say this thing that THE ROCK (!!) (The Rock) said to Moviefone:

Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President.

:( :( I know that emoticons aren’t a very professional way to express how you feel about a quote from The Rock, but that is only because there isn’t an emoticon that expresses a frowning mouth with laughing eyes. The Rock!!! You aren’t going to be president, The Rock! I’m sorry. I don’t even think you can play the president in a movie! Maybe the president of a toy company who needs to pay more attention to his kids in a Christmas movie, but even that would feel a little silly. But then he also said this weird thing in response to a question about how he knew Bin Laden was dead before everybody else?

If I tell you that, I won’t have to “kill” you, but I’ll have to behead you — no, I got my sources. I got friends in high places and low places. It was a very interesting day; I’m proud of our country and proud to be American. The individuals who were there were proud to let me know. I knew the President was going to give his speech; I thought he was going to give it at a certain time and so I thought, “I think it’s appropriate that I tweet ‘I’m damn proud to be an American’” and keep it in that space without giving away too much information. And then I got a call saying, “Now the President will give his speech in a couple of hours.” So we had about two hours of Rock tweets out there [Laughs].

Well, first of all, if you behead the interviewer you are going to kill him. Let’s just get the straight right now. Second of all, perfect. I’m glad that Seal Team 6, according to The Rock, made it a priority to inform The Rock that they had killed Osama Bin Laden before anyone else. Certainly the proudest moment of their life, I’m sure. Calling The Rock — the future President of the United States of America — and letting him know that his country is safe. So he could tweet about it. Who are the people The Rock knows in low places, though? How do they fit into this story? What’s the rest of the story, The Rock? What aren’t you telling us? How am I going to feel comfortable with you as our president if I know you’re holding onto SO MANY SECRETS?! cc:@wikileaks #therock4presidenteventually #afterheanswerssomequestions

Comments (45)
  1. President The Rock is the role Drake was born to play.

  2. I can smell what The Rock is cooking, and I am unsure how I feel about it

  3. Ronald Reagan, b-movie actor, was the President of the United States. That is all.

  4. The Rock Obama

  5. The Rock/Marky Mark ticket will be a total winner. I’m making buttons now.

  6. He could have pictures of himself from the tooth fairy movie in his campaigne posters! You know, Leadership! Responsibility! The Rock! The Tooth Fairy! Ok I know one of you talented monsters can make that happen.

  7. “The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President”

    Suck on that for a while, Arnold.

  8. Pretty sure the “friends in low places” he’s talking about is the Road Dogg.

  9. He’s no President Camacho.

  10. On the other hand, I would be less terrified to live in a country where The Rock is the president than a country where any of the current Republican candidates are president.

    • How in the Hell is Santorum still in this…let alone WINNING states? WTF? I truly don’t understand. There is not one ounce of me that understands how he can think the way he does AND has supporters of that very fucked up thought process. Ugh, I’m going to go stick hot sticks in my eyes while I wish for a world where The Rock is a presidential candidate.

      • “7M jabronis had their rights stripped away today by monkey crap 9th Circuit judges. As The Great One, I will work to lay the smackdown on marriage.”

  11. The Rock need to be president, because he apparently know a way to behead someone without killing them. Clearly he is the one who gets the ball rolling on Futurama-style head preservation.

  12. “You aren’t going to be president, The Rock!”

    I envy your optimism, Kelly.

  13. “The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President.” Methinks he doth protest too much!! Show us the birth certificate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Haha, great prank, Josh Hutcherson! You did it!

  15. I SHOULD care about this, but I don’t. Anyone would be better than Mittens R-Money or Newt GingRICH.

  16. “The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President.”

  17. Maybe he took The Rock Obama SNL sketch too seriously?

    • This could be true.

      Fact: Ronald Reagan would talk about things he did in WWII, but he wasn’t in WWII, he was just in movies about the war.

      And he turned in his left-leaning colleagues to McCarthy in the whole Red Scare / blacklist mess in the 50s. He was a real scumbag.

  18. @machoman Looks like Seal Team 6 snapped into more than a Slim Jim! #oblrip

  19. Nice try, Rock, but I’m voting for Brawndo.

  20. The Rock has friends in low and HIGH places. Jealous, Garth Brooks? #countrygum

  21. In all seriousness, there are military people with loose lips who will tell people they love, like, or are super-tight friends with, about inevitable things right before they happen. People were told by military friends to be super careful on the morning of September 11th, because intelligence knew something was up, but couldn’t figure out exactly what (some would argue that the government knew exactly what was going on, but I’m not trying to argue that). My point is, intelligence gets leaked.

    The Rock has worked on plenty of action-y, military creative consultant movies, and I’m positive he’s made friends with some of those guys. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a super-buff rich wrestler/actor guy with a nice smile who comes off as pretty friendly anyway? That’s a good guy to be friends with.

    All that being said, I did have a funny experience with the Rock at San Diego Comic Con about 3-4 years ago. My friend and I were sitting against a wall outside at the top/backside of the convention hall, just to get away from all the crowds and the heat. A group of people walked by consisting of about 3-4 convention volunteers, two kind of big dudes in suits, some dude in the middle and a super attractive blonde lady at his side. I was looking in my bag when my friend was checking out the blonde lady, then he noticed that the dude in the middle was the Rock. As they passed by my friend nudged me and I realized everything he just realized, and we watched the staff escort the Rock and his lady friend into what looked like a dead end, but maybe it was a special entrance(?). Nope. It was a dead end. About 15 seconds after they disappeared they popped back out of the enclave.

    So when I imagined a President The Rock I immediately imagined him being escorted into dead ends a lot by inept volunteer secret service.

  22. I’m sure he would improve our relations with Russia. You know, since “Durock” in Russian is the word for “Moron”.

    I can just picture the headline in Pravda: “America Elects Ex-Hollywood Movie Star Moron as President”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.