As we already discussed earlier today, the world is filled with pointless noise. It’s hard to even think straight these days what with all the SHOUTING. (For a good examples of what I’m talking about, please re-watch the Portlandia sketches “Did You Read?”.) (And also incidentally, this entire discussion gets back to my favorite part of that Internet-age cultural production documentary that we were talking about a couple weeks ago and the false belief in the democratization of the means of production as a blanket cultural good rather than a recursive noise factory that clouds the discussion.) ANYWAY, at the other end of the spectrum from these issues is Werner Herzog, who not only makes movies that are always interesting and sometimes even VERY GOOD, but who seems to have something worth listening to every single time he opens his mouth. The man could reTumbl the phone book and I would read it. Here he is talking about chickens:

Good point, Werner Herzog. What do you want to talk about next?! (Via BestRoofTalkEver.)

Comments (34)
  1. I would like to be the first to warn Gabe of the dangers of Werner Herzog. He is capable of things we cannot fathom. He is our generations Roman Polanski.

    • You know this firsthand?

      • Nope, but if I’m going to be #FIRST then I might as well slip it into a nonsense statement about the mythical powers of Werner Herzog. It was either that or an Entourage joke.

        • “Turtle, I have been offered all the pleasures this waking life can offer me and in a twisted parody I find no joy in these fruits at all. A modern day Croesus betrayed by his own libido. I long for the sweet release of death, but instead will take succor in this bong.” — Vincent Chase

  2. Did you read Gabe’s blog post on Chickens?

  3. It’s a metaphor. The Oscars are the chickens and Werner Herzog is the song insiders.

  4. Someone should clue Werner Herzog into ETITUEC…
    http://www.everytopicintheuniverseexceptchickens.com/

    Dudes already know about chickens, Werner Herzog!

  5. I wish this video didn’t cut out the best part

    “And in a manner uv speaking, you might reason zat Man iz ze dumbest chicken uv all. We become heepnetized by ze most profoundly eediotic things in ze face uv a cold and unforgiving planet.”

  6. The enormity of ranch dressing’s cooling power, the enormity of the pile of bones left behind.

  7. Animated Gif of Will Arnett doing that chicken dance from the arrested development program

  8. Why…why is Werner Herzog hypnotizing chickens? Is he planning a chicken apocalypse? IS BIRDEMIC REAL?

  9. You guys, I’m seriously getting worried about Gabe.

    For Gabe:

  10. “Aaronson, Abraham. 467 14th St, Apt 3D. His apartment is mostly likely a deeply depressing hovel that with little attempt at personal expression, indicative of the life our subject Abraham has lived.

    When he dies, only a faint trace of his existence will remain behind and quickly and with an exacting brutally that can only be executed by the cold hand of nature, Abraham will be erased from existence.

    His telephone number is 212-747-5443.” — Werner Herzog retumbling the phone book.

  11. “I believe the common character of the universe is not harmony, but crispy, extra crispy, and original recipe. “

  12. He’s right. There was even a famous chicken named Mike that lived for several years without a head.

  13. “When you stare into the chicken, the chicken stares back into you” -Werner Herzog

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