I made it my goal for today to find you guys the world’s best and most exciting new trampoline accident. I searched and searched through all the best trampoline accident websites and message boards, but I couldn’t find anything worthwhile. (This, for example, simply doesn’t cut it.)

But as you may know from watching those Hollywood films about romance, fate can be a funny and surprising thing. Your brain might think you want an American trampoline accident, but really your heart wants something completely different. Something Brazilian. Something with a Dance Dance Revolution machine and a glass door.

As they say in Portuguese, “Seja cuidadoso de sua cara, idiota.”

#Glass #Door #Face #Swag

And with that, Monsters, I must leave you. I have to drive to New Haven to do a show at some college that is NOT Yale. Jealous? Anyway, this was fun! I hope I didn’t embarrass myself!

R.I.P. The Zune. I will miss you..

Comments (39)
  1. He really Dave & Busted his nose there!

    I’ll show myself out.

  2. Why did he have to leave us so Zune?

  3. So that is pretty much the worst place for an unmarked glass door, right? Right. Just so we know where the worst place is to put an unmarked door, this can serve as the standard now.

  4. Here I was waiting for a DDR related mishap when, out of nowhere, DING DONG DOOR!

  5. To be fair we have all been that little boy who is so excited to go to an arcade that he ran into a door

  6. Portugese is a language? Then why did I waste all that itme learning Spanish?! This trip to South America is RUINED!

  7. Kids these days will do whatever it takes to be like the Jbiebz :(

  8. It’s like they always say, “When God closes a door he opens a window unless it is a glass door in which case you could argue that he has also closed a window? I don’t know.”

  9. Godspeed, Joe Mande. Sorry I didn’t comment more today.

  10. Why is he trying to open the door with his head anyways?!

  11. This guy’s favorite singer? Bangs.

  12. “When God closes a door Jesus replaces it with an invisible glass door, the little Prankster”

  13. What I want to know is who was filming two tween girls playing dance-dance revolution?

    Chris Hansen.gif

  14. Clearly he’s a graduate of the Midvale School for the Gifted.

    Far Side references, so timely.

  15. RE: the Master P video – I had no idea Jalen Rose died.

  16. Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye, Zune.

  17. Good work. That kid was really playing it up for the pending lawsuit.

  18. The Zune HD is actually a genius device. I love it to pieces.

  19. Did Joe Mande kill the Zune by wishing for the postponement of Charlie Sheen’s death? Is this some sort of weird videogum running joke final destination?

  20. You’re the Mande now, dog!

  21. One time I went to a Hall of Mirrors at a carnival and got lost within. When I finally emerged about ten minutes later, relieved, I made a mad dash for the exit, which was actually a narrow opening surrounded by clear plate glass. I missed the opening. I made a lot of strangers laugh that day.

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