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THE BEST!

AMERICAN LEGEND!

MR. COOL VOICE!

If there is one thing that I have noticed in the run up to this summer’s highly anticipated (LOL) The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, it is that people have been saying “I’ve not seen him play a sorcerer, that seems odd for him.” That is definitely a thing that I have heard A LOT, not to mention THOUGHT MYSELF. Almost constantly, really. It’s been hard to get any work done since the trailer came out, because I just haven’t seen Nicolas Cage play a sorcerer before and it seemed odd to me. Most movies about sorcerers feature people who have already played sorcerers in other movies (?), which is why it doesn’t seem odd for them. But he hadn’t played a sorcerer before, so we were all like, whuuuuuut? That’s so odd for him! So it’s cool to hear that out of all the characters he has played, this is the one that he felt TOTALLY COMFORTABLE with. I mean, it makes sense. HE LOOKS COMFORTABLE. He definitely looks like he did not sweat it on this one. He also looks like he still doesn’t have any friends. (On that note: please no one tell Nicolas Cage that EVERY CHILD IN THE WORLD has an imagination and pretends to be an astronaut, even those who have plenty of friends and that having friends and having an imagination are not mutually exclusive. It would just break his ridiculous heart.)

Incidentally, I’m referring to Nicolas Cage as The Submarine Captain from now on. (Thanks for the tip, Jay.)

Comments (42)
  1. How could you NOT be comfortable in those sweatpants?

    • Was he talking that way because you were napping in the next room?

      “I’m sorry, interviewer, I have an 18 month old internet commenter napping right now. We can do this, but we have to keep it down.”

      • baby’s got headphones on. should be fine to talk about being a sorcerer at a resonable volume…unless there is a dragon he doesn’t want to wake up?

  2. Are we sure Nicholas Cage hasn’t played a sorcerer before? What about when he tried to use his mind powers to make the guy put the bunny back in the box?

  3. “I really never sweated on this one” is clearly code for “Come on guys I am bRRoke. Cut me some slack and let me cash this pay check.”

  4. I just…..is he for real? Or is he pulling a Joaquin Phoenix on us?

  5. Thanks for explaining imagination to me Mr. Cage

    • Well it IS his domain. Does that mean he controls every fantasy I have? No wonder I keep dreaming of Elvis blowing shit up and riding motorcycles.

    • Also this guy gets it

      People are always telling me how they can not picture me as an eccentric candy-maker, but see as a child I always wanted to live in a chocolate river and I would imagine I would be swimming in it, and riding a boat on it

      • This guy gets it, too.

        My dad always said, “Leonardo, my son! Deny your dreams! You cannot be an OCD billionaire who pees in milk jars and flies airplanes!” And my friends said nothing at all, because I had none. Who’s laughing now, assholes?

        Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that atavan…

  6. PRODUCER: I’m not sure, Nicholas Cage. I like your audition, but this seems like sort of an odd role for you.

    CAGE: Well, I did pretend to be a sorcerer here and there as a child.

    PRODUCER: Enough to where you’d be comfortable pretending to be one as an adult?

    CAGE: Of course.

    PRODUCER: We’ve got our man.

  7. It’s surprising to hear he didn’t have many friends as a child

  8. All the best actors aspire to play sorcerers someday. He’s in good company.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43sbtkQM6zc

  9. oh man! last weekend i had friends in town, and we did the obligatory graveyards of new orleans sight seeing, and we totally found nicholas cage’s redonkulous pyramid tomb.
    [IMG]http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r300/condirules/niccage-1.jpg[/IMG]

  10. Not just a Submarine Captain, but a Submarine Captain that lives in a castle his dad built.
    (Submarine Captains don’t live in castles their dads built for them, Jack Donaghy.)

    • So having the bank foreclose on his German castle must have had the extra sting of a childhood dream achieved and then ripped away. Let us all hope we never feel the pain of the very, very wealthy.

    • mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on May 27th, 2010 +14

      “Imagine Submarine Captains
      Living in castles their dads built for them Ooo-hooo-ooo”
      - John Lennon

      • “You may say something died on my head,
        but it’s just my awful wig.
        I hope some da-a-ay I will grow some,
        But I wou-ou-ou-ouldn’t bank on it.”

  11. “The most important Tool in my shed is a Tool, I am such a Tool”

    -Nickolas Cage

  12. Nick Cage IS Mickey Rourke

  13. Bill Pullman wants his voice back.

  14. I don’t really have anything witty to say, but I honestly can’t believe that a popular, wealthy (albeit deranged) actor just told audiences that he has spent his whole life preparing… to be a sorcerer. All the non-wizarding movies he’s done to build his career were just filler for this- his role of a lifetime. Should be great, you guys! We’ll finally get to see a side of Nicolas Cage that he’s been waiting to reveal for years!

  15. Oh good lord. It’s this sort of thing that makes you take a step back and by wonder how we arrived at a society that decides to give all the money to people like this. I know he’s apparently “broke” by someone’s definition of the word, but not before we collectively decided to give him ridiculous sums of money. And yes, I liked Wild at Heart and Raising Arizona and Adaptation and all that, but still. STILL. I also really like the work that my friends who teach children are doing and we can’t find any money for him. We’re all just like “Nope, give it to the guy who’s been imagining himself as a sorceror since his father bult him a castle when he was a kid. He’s working on a completely forgettable film about being that sorceror. Those teachers have summer’s off for crying out loud, what are they complaining about?” Cool society.

  16. That was the best audition to play the BP Oil Spill EVER.

  17. is nicolas cage sure he’s never played batman before? if not, i guess he has just spent so much time getting drunk in a box and imagining it is the batcave that he has perfected his batman voice. which is the mask nicolas cage?! is it the bat?! or is nicolas cage the mask?!

  18. “I remember playing in that little castle and imagining I was a dead animal-wig wearing joke of an ‘actor’ who raped Marlon Brando’s memory on featurettes for my nightmare films. It’s all about imagination.” Nicholas Cage

  19. He’s right, though–that’s my exact thought process for every movie he’s ever been in!
    “I’m not seeing Cage play a weather man, how will he do that?”
    “Cage as an agent who gets a face transplant to get the bad guy? Well, I never!”
    “How is he going to portray a Matchstick Man, having never done it previously?”
    etc.

  20. I feel like we’re overlooking a very important piece of information, which is that his wizardy character isn’t just called Balthazar, but Balthazar BLAKE. Surnames are as important in Nicolas Cage’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice world as they are in the World of Harry Potter!

    Mostly though “Balthazar Blake” sounds super lame.

  21. He did this voice in Kick-ass when he was pretending to pretend to be Nicolas Cage pretending to be Christian Bale’s Batman.

  22. Nic Cage is one of those people who when they talk, I can only listen to for a certain amount of time before I just start staring at them, trying to look into their eyes to understand them, trying to figure out how to see the world, to understand life, the way they do. I mean, it’s one thing to disagree with someone, you can see how they got there, understand that, but then this guy…

  23. Agree– Nic Cage = one role away from landing the lead in Coocoo House: 2 Many Cocoa Puffs

    Disagree– All kids have imagination, even the ones with friends. I don’t know what fantastical world you live in, Gabe, but when I was growing up, being creative and being socially accepted were mutually exclusive. You ain’t telling me that the hockey playing jerkasses who would whip tennis balls at me at recess were actually wellsprings of artistry.

  24. I want a Videogum “Nicolas Cage Promise.” Nay, I demand it.

  25. Bad Sorcerer: Port of Crazyasballs, New Orleans.

  26. I’m just here representing as a completely unashamed Nic Cage fan. My favorite movie at 6 was Con Air, no lie.

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