Videogum » Turtles

Here Are Some Afternoon Links!

Kelly — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:15:09 +0000

I’m not sure that Mischa Barton is ok. Are any of you friends with Mischa Barton? I think if any of you are friends with Mischa Barton you should maybe give her a call or just drop by her place and just try to have a nice day with her. I think she could use that right now. -TheSuperficial
Marc Maron chatted with Amy Sedaris at a live taping of his WTF Podcast. They talked about rabbits! -BuzzFeed
Bob Odenkirk made a fake car commercial announcing the new Black Keys album and it is GREAT! -Stereogum
Steve Jobs asked Aaron Sorkin to write a Pixar movie, but Aaron Sorkin gave a bologna excuse. Probably because he hated Steve Jobs? -SlashFilm
Do you want to bid on a date with DJ Pauly D? Your money will go to a good cause! Plus, you’ll get to go on that date! That super good date that you want to go on for sure! Aw, c’mon, just do it. -Celebuzz
Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords is going to be doing a few songs for the Muppets soundtrack. Great! “BRET!” – Jemaine voice. -TheHollywoodReporter
Want to watch a clip from Martha Marcy May Marlene? Yes you do! Neither of us can wait to see that movie! -Vulture
Bill Murray conducted a marching band at a Harvard-Cornell game last weekend. Sure. -Movieline
Salma Hayek is on the cover of a magazine doing a CLASSIC Salma Hayek pose. That’s the only notable thing about this one. She’s just always doing this pose, I feel like. Classic. -JustJared
Please watch this video of a turtle standing on its hind legs, it will literally take you twelve seconds. -TheDailyWhat
Salon talks with the West Memphis Three about how HBO documentaries helped to free them. -Salon
Have you guys been following the Beyonce fake baby belly story? The story about how her belly folded up when she was on an Australian TV show and now the whole world hates her? Well her representative has responded. Turns out it IS a fake belly! JK. -Dlisted

The Petting Zoo: Lots Of Puppies And An Interesting Thought About The Popularity Of Turtle Videos

Kelly — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 21:45:08 +0000

Let’s get ready for cuuuuuuteeee videoooooooooooooooooooooos! Get it? For example, this video. Haha, dog, that cucumber slice is not for you! That is for a human to eat. Do you guys remember the first time you ate a cucumber? I remember the first time I ate one, it was during the summer of 2007. I haven’t eaten them that often since because I don’t like the texture very much, which I think is reasonable. But man. This dog, right? What a cute dog. A great intro to the next billion animal videos that we’re all going to watch and love together. Let’s get to them!

Painfully Slow Turtle Barbecue Theft

Kelly — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 21:00:47 +0000

Some of us, sitting at our computers in our rooms with not enough artificial light, listening to the rainwater drip from the roof onto our window unit air conditioners, may look at a video of a turtle getting stuck under a barbecue and then walking it around the yard as a reminder of time’s slow crawl towards winter and eventual death. Those of us may also wonder, Why does almost everything remind us of time’s slow crawl towards winter and eventual death? Some others of us may see the video as a poor turtle being forced to drag around a barbecue because the humans who seem to own it as a pet want to upload the video to the internet rather than take the barbecue off of its turtle shell. But maybe all of these people need to relax and take a look at this video through the eyes of those of us who will look at it and see it as a turtle who really just wants to have a barbecue with his turtle friends, and thinks that he is being very sneaky and will definitely be successful in his mission of stealing this particular barbecue, and he is already celebrating in his head because he is going to be the most popular turtle in turtle town and he can taste the turtle burgers already.

This Turtle Has A Wheel For A Leg

Gabe — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 18:45:54 +0000

Really? Setting aside for a moment the fact that we live on a wildly overpopulated planet where six million children die of starvation every year, and even in our own very-wealthy-by-comparison country are living through the worst economic depression in three generations where people are struggling to find work and feed their families, and so maybe we can CHILL with the gold-plated prostheses for injured turtles for a little while, focus our resources somewhere even just a little bit more productive. But setting that aside, you are going to give a turtle a wheel for a leg and then you are going to PUT HIM ON SOME FUCKING GRASS? That is like giving someone a baseball bat for an arm and then sending him to somewhere that the baseball bat doesn’t work properly. EPIC TURTLE WHEEL LEG FAIL. (Thanks for the tip, raindog.)

Don’t Watch This If You “Like Turtles”

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:16 +0000

Super-smart eagles have figured out a way to open turtle shells, as this amazing video demonstrates. So much suspense! (If you’re a little girl you should probably not watch unless you want to be infuriated by nature’s chaos and murder. Also, you should probably not be on this site):

I will admit this made me wince a little, but it’s also really cool! And remember: the wittle baby eagles would slowly starve to death in their nest if all of the tortoises got to live.