Videogum » Tiffani Thiessen

Dustin Diamond Is Our Generation’s World Trade Center

Gabe — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:23:04 +0000

The cover of this week’s People magazine features the Saved by the Bell reunion photo of our hopes and dreams. Or at least of someone’s hopes and dreams. Personally I do not understand the Saved by the Bell reunion fever of 2009.

“We’re trying to put together a Saved by the Bell reunion.”
“Why?”
“To see what they look like now, and what they are all up to!”
“Let me guess: older and not much.”
“Isn’t it exciting?”

But UH OH, Dustin Diamond is having no part of this! The world remains without a complete cast reunion of Saved by the Bell! What will the world do? (Relax, world.) Actually, I think it’s better that he’s not involved because I L.O.V.E. how they have dealt with it: by digitally erasing Dustin Diamond from the “before” cast photo. Consistent! There are two instances in which America has not been able to handle the past, and so the past has been revised: the graveyard scene in Zoolander, and the Saved by the Bell reunion cover of People magazine.

“You can’t handle the truth!”
–America’s Tombstone

(Via Dlisted. Click through for larger image.)

Jimmy Fallon Interviewed “Zack Morris” Last Night

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 09:38:20 +0000

Last night, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon got a lot further in their quest to reunite the cast of Saved By The Bell when Mark-Paul Gosselaar appeared in character as “Zack Morris” and updated Jimmy on his fabulous life in Hollywood, where he moved after school to be an actor with his two best friends and high school principal: “I had to change my name to Mark-Paul Gosselaar because there was already a Zack Morris in SAG.” Zack, as Mark-Paul, now stars on the show Raising The Bar, which he managed to fully promote without ever dropping character. Oh, also? Turns out Zack and Kelly Kapowski were married, but “Things got pretty rough after we split up. Kelly moved to a different zip code.” Zack even plays a Zack Attack song backed up by The Roots. Who knew Mark-Paul Gosselaar was a such a good sport/funny guy?

Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Cyborg Soldier

Gabe — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:44:43 +0000

This is a trailer for a movie called Cyborg Soldier.

This is the movie equivalent of that classic Onion op-ed “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades.” It’s that. But a movie. In this case, though, it’s not fuck “everything,” it’s just fuck plot, production value, good acting, and any desire to see it. Otherwise it’s BALLS OUT.

I am telling you this though: the United States Government suspended any and all supersoldier training and development programs about 10 years ago. Hollywood has successfully forced the military-industrial complex to recognize that it’s simply TOO RISKY. They always go rogue. Always. It’s going to take all your best men facing the toughest challenge of their careers to bring him in, and even that won’t be enough. Don’t you realize he just wants out? THIS IS NOT WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR.