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This Week In GIFs!

Kelly — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:30:59 +0000

Is everybody excited for Valentine’s Day? Is everyone saying “YESSSSSSSS” right now? “Yessss, I love writing a card for someone and eating dinner or just not doing anythingggggg.” Is that what you’re saying? I can’t hear you. Can you say your responses louder? HELLO? I know we still have a bunch of days before Valentine’s Day, but this is our last GIF FRIDAY before it, so I’ve included some V-Day GIFs in the bunch. No need to thank me. Just doing my duty as provider of a few holiday theme appropriate GIFs that everyone always enjoys a lot and no one feels neutral about at all. WELCOME TO MY LIFE! Along with those, we have a bunch of GIFs to remind you of the wonderful adventures we went on together throughout this past week. They’re all a delight, and I think you’re going to enjoy them. SO LET’S LOOK AT ‘EM!

The Rock Will Be President Someday, Says The Rock

Kelly — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:00:07 +0000

I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for celebrities to give so many interviews all the time while trying to keep their craziness under wraps. I don’t really even mean that in a jerky, condescending way. I can hardly talk to people in my everyday life while keeping my own craziness under wraps, and I BARELY talk to people. If I had to answer questions from strangers all the time I’d be just the weirdest wreck. I don’t even want to think about the kind of things I’d — WE’D, all of us, we’re all in this together — say. That being said, though, I’m not sure if there would ever be a point where we’d say this thing that THE ROCK (!!) (The Rock) said to Moviefone:

Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President.

I know that emoticons aren’t a very professional way to express how you feel about a quote from The Rock, but that is only because there isn’t an emoticon that expresses a frowning mouth with laughing eyes. The Rock!!! You aren’t going to be president, The Rock! I’m sorry. I don’t even think you can play the president in a movie! Maybe the president of a toy company who needs to pay more attention to his kids in a Christmas movie, but even that would feel a little silly. But then he also said this weird thing in response to a question about how he knew Bin Laden was dead before everybody else?

Jokes About The Rock And Jerry Bruckheimer Temporarily Put On Sleeper Hold

Gabe — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:00:03 +0000

The Rock is a really horrible actor and Jerry Bruckheimer suffers from a serious case of Cigar Face, but these types of comments will have to be put on hold because the two of them are producing a TV drama about the world of 1980s wrestling for NBC and that actually sounds really great!

A Round Up Of Positive Reviews Of Tooth Fairy

Gabe — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 14:03:14 +0000

Well, the day has finally come. Dwayne Johnson’s The Tooth Fairy is IN THEATERS NOW. It’s hard to believe that the months of sweaty, borderline-painful anticipation are over. The film currently has an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Pretty impressive! The Spy Next Door only has 8% right now. IN YOUR FACE, SPY NEXT DOOR! Just check out some of these glowing reviews coming in:

Michael O’Sullivan at the Washington Post:

One of the film’s charms is the way it carries childhood mythology to its logical, if absurd extreme.

It definitely does that! Even the miserable soursports who are giving this joyful movie negative reviews would have to admit that it carries childhood mythology to an absurd extreme. That is just a FACT.

Matthew Razak at examiner.com:

I’ll be damned if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson isn’t the greatest deliverer of puns since Jack Nicholson’s Joker.

PAH! Did you hear that Jack Nicholson?! Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale YA BURNT light? Move over Grandpa Hall of Fame. Our generation has a new Greatest Actor, probably.

Don’t All Run To Fandango Your Tooth Fairy Tickets At Once!

Gabe — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:33:20 +0000

Tooth Fairy trailer, you guys:

I know that some things just aren’t made for me, like, I’m clearly not the intended audience. I know that, of course I know that. So it makes sense that, say, the Sex and the City movie tries to appeal to lonely middle-aged midwestern women who have abandoned their dreams and live in a fog of unattainable aspirational fantasies rather than grumpy 60-something male pop culture blog writers. I get it! But sometimes there are things that even though they don’t even attempt to appeal to me, still suggest an available and interested audience that I refuse to believe exists. Take, just for a totally random example that just happens to work conveniently for our purposes, this Tooth Fairy trailer. No one should want this. And if someone does want this, they should be buried in a pine coffin and forced to one-inch punch their way back to the living. Faced with that kind of terrifying mortal threat and test of one’s martial arts training, you definitely reorganize your priorities in life. Am I suggesting burying thousands of children alive unless they recognize that this movie looks like absolute garbage? Yes. Yes, I am. WHEN I WAS A KID WE GOT BURIED ALIVE UPHILL BOTH WAYS!

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Dwayne Johnson Is Still “The Rock”

Gabe — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:58:17 +0000

Check out the movie poster for Dwayne Johnson’s new movie, Tooth Fairy. Very powerful stuff. I’m sure members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences see this poster and are like “honey, pass me my ballot. I’m submitting my nominees for all of the Academy Awards early this year.” The movie just sounds really good:

A bad deed on the part of a tough minor-league hockey player (Johnson) results in an unusual sentence: He must serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy.

Well, that explains the tooth fairy’s ice skates and knee pads? But one week? I could serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy in my sleep.

Look, Dwayne Johnson, if you want to make a movie about the Tooth Fairy, go ahead and make a movie about the Tooth Fairy. Literally no one is stopping you. You can even save yourself the 10 minutes it would take to come up with an interesting or clever name and just call it Tooth Fairy. But let us be clear on something: your name is The Rock. This has been pointed out before, but enough with the “serious actor” thing. The closest you ever got was Southland Tales, and we know how that turned out.

UNLESS Tooth Fairy is a gripping examination of the military’s legal and moral flexibility in the pursuit of America’s self-defense, in which case, nevermind. (Poster via Daemon’sMovies.)

SNL Just The Funny Parts: The Rock Obama

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:15:42 +0000

The Rock is not a terrible comic actor, but SNL seems to think that the funniest thing about The Rock is dressing The Rock up in girly clothes and making him sing and dance. You know, because he’s a big scary guy, so the cognitive dissonance is automatically funny to some people. So while Saturday’s episode probably appealed to the middle-school slumber party demographic (an important one), it did nothing for me. Literally nothing. Like one tiny chuckle and maybe three “ehs,” not to build it up too much. The five funniest or most notable sketches, after the jump.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson To Star In Tooth Fairy

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:58:17 +0000

Remember on Sunday when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson presented at The Oscars, and was introduced as just “Dwayne Johnson,” and everyone was like “That’s so cute, he dropped ‘The Rock’ because he wants to be a serious actor!” Well, today Variety reports that Johnson has signed on to star in a movie called Tooth Fairy, as ~~the Tooth Fairy~~ “a regular man who is brought in to save the Tooth Fairy kingdom.” (So, basically, Acting Tooth Fairy.) So let’s just continue calling him “The Rock.”