Showing All "The Future" Posts

You: Hello pup, want to go for an iWalk on the SuperEnet-TravelSYS? Your Dog: I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. You: Walkies? Your Dog: WALKIES WALKIES WALKIES WALKIES WALKIES. You:…   Read Story »
Obviously some of these predictions now seem quaint and almost comical in retrospect. A wedding dress made out of saran wrap? In 2000? 1999 maybe, but by 2000 all wedding dresses were made out of…   Read Story »
Say goodbye to boring old stupid Monday mornings that turn up the mental volume of the clock ticking ever closer to death, and say hello to eggs that come out of the shell scrambled! LIFE CAN BE…   Read Story »
Sure the technology seems a little unnecessary when the video chatting technology is already here and, like, there will probably be a lot of time when the machines get lost or fall down in the…   Read Story »
Two of my very good friends are getting married this weekend, and so I am sitting on a cross-country flight to attend their wedding. (That's right, I have friends. Jealous?) Do you even understand…   Read Story »
AFTER MANY ILL-FATED ATTEMPTS AT OVERTHROWING EARTH'S HUMAN POPULATION, IT SEEMS THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS TURNED ITS STEELY (HAHAH) (AHAHAHAHAHA) GAZE ELSEWHERE -- NAMELY, TOWARDS EARTH'S MUSIC. DO BE…   Read Story »
People always used to judge you for your lack of skill with women. "Hey, where's your girlfriend?" they'd ask. "Oh yeah, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE AND NEVER WILL." They'd interrupt, laughing, before you…   Read Story »
Hey girls! You look nice today. Have you been drinking more water? Do you think I should drink more water? Probably, right? It couldn't hurt. I always try to get a really big glass and think that…   Read Story »
Whuuuuuuuuuuut?! WHY DIDN'T THE PRECOGS TELL US ABOUT THESE?! Maybe it's time to put the Precogs THEMSELVES in Time Jail! Have you guys seen what these "glasses" actually look like? Even Will.i.Am…   Read Story »