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The Faces Of Rejected Bachelorettes On The Bachelor

Gabe — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:15:55 +0000

Oh, ladies. Always a pharmaceutical sales rep, never a TV bride!

15 Ways In Which The Bachelor Will Be Different This Season

Gabe — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 17:00:06 +0000

This season of The Bachelor, which premiered last night on ABC, stars Brad Womack as The Bachelor again. I guess he was already The Bachelor once? Well he’s back. Congrats, ladies. If someone goes on a reality show to find true love and it doesn’t work so they go back on the same reality show a second time, that is when you know they are a keeper! But don’t expect this season of The Bachelor to be your run-of-the-mill season of The Bachelor. It’s going to be different! The HollywoodReporter explains how:

Womack will have 30 women competing for him, as compared to Jake Pavelka’s 20 women and Ali Fedotwosky’s 25. The reason for the extra women? To fill more time.

“We’ve added episodes and gone to two hours of late. It helps us fill some voids and make it more compelling,” host Chris Harrison tells TV Guide.

One woman vying for a rose has fangs — and freaks out Womack, according to Harrison. “Everyone … is going to be like, ‘She has fangs! Of course you’re going to let her go!’” he says. But Womack isn’t quick to send her home.

HAHAHAHHA. Cooooool. Obviously, the woman with fangs is a real TWIST. Everyone is going to be like “She has fangs!” Because she has fangs. But it’s also very cool how much work ABC has put into…filling time. That is the mark of a truly great TV show: that it makes banal adjustments to its format in order to pad things out and stretch them as thin as possible. Think M.A.S.H. Think The Sopranos. Classic time wasters. “This season, Tony is going to have 30 calzones at the Pork Store instead of 25 calzones at the Pork Store!” Two-hour Adriana death scene. Etc.

Here are 15 more ways in which this season of The Bachelor will be different:

Love In The Wild Is About To Be Our New Favorite Show

Gabe — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 15:15:01 +0000

If you’re anything like me, then you have been beating your head against a cinder block incessantly ever since they took Temptation Island off the air (with a brief respite from the banging to watch Paradise Hotel, but then it was right back to the banging) and you long ago gave up believing that life would ever again have any joy or meaning. WELL, GIVE UP GIVING UP! Your heart is about to be full once more. From the Hollywood Reporter:

Survival shows are popular. Dating shows are popular. Now NBC and Endemol are conducting a high-concept mad-science experiment to fuse the two genres together.

Introducing Love in the Wild, a new series coming to NBC that puts singles looking for mates together in the wilderness to see if they come together.

Twenty men and women will pair up each week in the middle of the jungle. Each couple is dropped into a remote location with nothing but a map and each other to rely on. Along the way, they’re put through challenges that test them emotionally and physically. At the end of the day, some of the couples will be treated to various romantic indulgences at a romantic oasis. After, they’ll have the choice of staying with their partner or switching for the next challenge.

YESSSSSSSSSS.

That’s Your Videogame: The Bachelor: The Videogame

Gabe — Mon, 17 May 2010 17:45:10 +0000

If there is one thing that people who love to play videogames know about it is the crushing desperation of loneliness and the impossibility of finding true romantic love. THE LEGEND OF ZINGD-YA. Just kidding, nerds. I know that videogames have broken through to the mainstream now, and children are fighting tooth and nail to get the XBOX controller out of their mom’s hands. “Just one more level of Mommy Makeover 2: Space Face!” But a videogame adaptation about a garbage reality show in which some date rapist tries to find love in a sea of plastic surgery enthusiasts? Yuck. Now you, too, can perpetuate the notion that all women really want is to get married, regardless of the circumstances surrounding that marriage, like, even if it’s to a man who is so thoroughly suspect that despite his television-caliber good looks, his effusive charm, and his apparent success in business, he still supposedly can’t manage to find a human being to care about and at the same time thinks that reality TV is a reasonable way to do so, or at the very least to fulfill the tiny dark star of his incredible ego. But you, of course, are also a self-absorbed piece of work with a desire to be thought of as special but an inability to see that this desire is the very thing that makes you plain. SOUNDS LIKE A FUN GAME. Of course, this game isn’t just for the ladies. It’s also for the fellas, because The Bachelor: The Videogame includes The Bachelorette: The Videogame FOR FREE! (Because as we all know, The Bachelorette is a program strictly 4 tha guyz.) It’s crazy how they were able to fit two incredible games on one disc. Miracles, the magic miracles.

Actual trailer for this actual game which is real and which you are going to buy and play and win (and lose) after the jump:

The First Promo For FOX’s The Fatchelor More To Love: Who Is This Guy?

Lindsay Robertson — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:09:22 +0000

Wait, FOX’s July 28 overweight-people dating show by the creator of The Bachelor isn’t called The Fatchelor anymore, it’s back to being called More To Love? (Variety hasn’t published a correction.) Okay, well, that’s weird, but here’s the first promo for it. Lest anyone thinks that the crazy-eyes crying chick who wails “I just don’t want to be alone!” is sacrificing even a shred more dignity than a skinny Bachelor contestant, where ladies have been known to shout “My eggs are dying!,” trust me, she’s not:

The Bachelorette: Ahhh, She Gave The Foot Fetish Guy A Rose!

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:21:42 +0000

The Bachelor/Bachelorette series is successful in part because it rarely changes. Despite “tweaks” like last night’s 30 men instead of 25, the series is comforting in its predictable cycles of peacocking, jealousy, laughter, tears, ambulances (if it’s The Bachelor) and the inevitable heartbreak of those who will forever remain convinced that they didn’t “open up and show who they really are” enough to leave “the friend zone.” I enjoy the series because my friends and I can literally have an unrelated two-hour conversation with the show on in the background without missing anything. But last night, they introduced (or discovered) a new way to give the show some much-needed suspense: one of the guys has a creepy, over-the-line foot fetish (along with several other disturbing traits), and WE know it, but Jillian the Bachelorette DOES NOT HAVE ANY IDEA:

FOX Is Actually Calling Their Fat-People Dating Show The Fatchelor

Lindsay Robertson — Fri, 15 May 2009 10:36:39 +0000

Back in March when Fox announced that they were producing a new reality show in which overweight women would compete for the love of “a Kevin James type,” I made an obvious, silly, joke that the show would be called “The Fatchelor.” It was then called “More To Love,” but I guess we were all giving Fox too much credit, because according to Variety, the show is now called The Fatchelor. Unbelievable! (Totally believable.):

Another possibility for a fall splash is “The Fatchelor,” the new supersized dating series from “Bachelor” king Mike Fleiss. (“Fatchelor” is currently set for summer.)

One guess what the people who competed on that show were told it was called. (Answer: “More To Love.”) It was probably really called The Fatchelor all along. Fox is so evil! (But whatever, I’ll watch the first episode, at least.)

FOX Announces Dating Show For People Of Average Weight

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:02:36 +0000

FOX has greenlit a new reality show by the creators of The Bachelor, where overweight women will compete for the love of “a Kevin James type.” It’s called The Fatchelor. JK, it’s called More To Love, but they probably totally suggested that name at some point.

Verdict: Bachelor Jason Is More Of An Idiot Than A Dick

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:30:43 +0000

So all of the things prophesied by The Hard Core Bachelor Bloggers for the Bachelor End Times came to pass last night: Jason dumped Molly, proposed to Melissa, waited six weeks, went on TV again, dumped Melissa, and told Molly he wanted to date her instead. Those hard core bloggers who have cousins who are ABC interns or whatever sure do know their stuff! Anyway, when Jason dumped Melissa on TV, he said it was because their “chemistry changed” in the six weeks since the proposal. She asked if she’d done something wrong, and it would have been hilarious if he said “Yes, you farted,” but instead he said “No.”

The Bachelor: Shit Gets Real Tonight

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:45:56 +0000

The rumored huge gigantic Bachelor twist/scandal will finally be revealed tonight on the show’s “freakish” finale, despite an adorable “Don’t Air The Show” fan petition (Who knew Bachelor fans were so naive? JK!). ABC is airing THREE HOURS of the Bachelor telenovela tonight, and then Jason is going to be on Kimmel, so that’s almost like four. The first two hours will be the finale in which Melissa is chosen. The last hour will be the first of two After The Final Rose specials (the next one is tomorrow night), in which we’ll learn that Jason has broken up with Melissa and is now dating Molly. Or so the blogs say, but mostly the blogs have been right (except this one – last week I said that Melissa was dumped in front of an audience, but it turns out they didn’t use an audience this time out of “sensitivity.” There goes my dream of one day blogging about the Israel/Palestine conflict for The Economist.) There are several previews/teasers for the finale out there, but this is my favorite because ABC is afraid to say the word “god” in “oh my god.”