Videogum » Shopping

Occupy THIS

Gabe — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:45:04 +0000

This is what happens when the 1 percent encounters the LOL percent. (Via Nevver.)

Mariah Carey On HSN, Again

Gabe — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:00:16 +0000

To celebrate the one year anniversary of her appearance on HSN, Mariah Carey appeared on HSN. Circle of life.

Going To The Store

Kelly — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:00:52 +0000

Just heading out to the store to pick up a few things. Labor Day weekend, you know. (Thanks for the tip, Diego.)

That’s Your Girlfriend: Lori Davenport

Gabe — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 16:00:59 +0000

“Over time, I have definitely found that what I am attracted to has changed. The more that I come to know myself, the more that I can finally pinpoint what exactly it is that I’m looking for in a partner, you know? So, like, I used to think that I wanted someone who shared my taste in books, or who knew how to cook, or who had a welcoming family that I could get to know and become a part of. Now, most of that stuff doesn’t matter as much to me. My girl can read whatever she wants, it doesn’t have any affect on what I’m reading. If she can’t cook, there are plenty of people who can, they are called professional chefs and they’re all over the place. And I’ve got a family, turns out I don’t need a second one. At this point in my life, what I’ve finally come to understand is that the person I’ve been looking for all my life is someone who will spend upwards of five days in a tent outside of a strip-mall Best Buy in Florida waiting for a discount on a fucking TV. Soul mates.”

–You

Women Be Eat, Pray, Lovin’! — Sinbarf

Gabe — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:15:24 +0000

In honor of the most wonderful and important movie of the year, the Home Shopping Network presented an entire program of Eat, Pray, Love products, the purchase of which will help turn any woman into a self-obsessed asshole.

The Mannequin Remake Will Obviously Make No Sense

Gabe — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 12:34:05 +0000

Moviehole is reporting that Hollywood is planning on remaking the 1987 comedy Mannequin. Which is not surprising. Everything will eventually be remade, that is just the way the world is now (Glitter 2.0, starring Noah Cyrus, 2023). But this remake is particularly hilarious to me. Mannequin, of course, is about a man who falls in love with a store mannequin who only comes to life when he is around, Calvin and Hobbes-style. Also, he is an artist who becomes a “the best window-dresser in town“, and the mannequin is actually a cursed woman from ancient Egypt? Wait, what? It turns out that Mannequin is a little more complicated than I remember! At least based on the Wikipedia plot description. Eventually, the mannequin is stolen by a competing department store (you are a THIEF, Good Burger plot!) and Andrew McCarthy has to “fight through security and machines” (haha, what?) to get her back. Sure. It’s the classic narrative conflict of Man Vs. Security And Machines Because Of Magic Love Mannequins.

The thing is, though, when they inevitably try to update Mannequin for the Next Generation, the mannequin is obviously going to be, like, a Facebook Gift, or an Etsy Store, right? Do kids these days even know what mannequins are? “You mean the smiley face on the side of Amazon.com boxes?” Oh man, I would pay REGULAR ADMISSION to see a movie about an “artist” (Taylor Lautner) who falls in love with the smiley face on the side of an Amazon.com box (voiced by Selena Gomez). I am terrible when it comes to knowing what is a reasonable thing to spend my money on! (Thanks for the tip, Jared.)

Hey Hollywood, Now That Killbots Are REAL, How About Releasing Chopping Mall On DVD?

Gabe — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:26:41 +0000

A robot that zoomed along through the hallways of a modern shopping mall used to just be the stuff of FANTASY and LEGEND. “It will never happen,” the politicians and naysayers used to say (and naysay?). Well guess what, politicians and naysayers. It did ever happen. The future is here. Well, not here exactly, but the future is in Japan.

Did you know that in Japan they have heated toilets? HEATED TOILETS! But that is beside the point. The point is that what if lightning strikes the shopping mall one night? And a surge of electricity shuts down the central computer? You know, the central computer that CONTROLS ALL THE ROBOTS? What then?

I will tell you what then:

In Germany, The Lingerie Commercials Are Inspired By Saw

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:59:47 +0000

Women be tearing each other to pieces over the last pink bra:

Hey, wait, what about that whole thing where in Europe sex on TV is fine but violence is bad, and in America it’s the opposite? Either this (certainly online only?) ad is truly transgressive, or there goes the only thing I knew about European TV tastes. Mythbusting! (Via Copyranter.)