Videogum » Russia

Why Are You Hitting Yourself?

Gabe — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:30:05 +0000

Being a kid is the worst. You can’t do anything and you’re always getting yelled at and there’s a boy in class who smells so bad and it’s like the adults don’t even care and Maggie is popular but you’re not even sure why because she’s never done anything that’s even that special and if it really if that she’s popular just because she had that folder with a picture of horses on it then you think you might scream because it’s not like she made that folder she bought it in a store and it’s just a folder. Sometimes it’s all just too much. Why don’t they make pills that make you grow up faster? And now I’m supposed to just keep reading this stupid book? You’ll all burn in hell. (Via Arbroath.)

Russian Guy Climbs A Tall Thing Just To Make Us Worried

Kelly — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 19:15:14 +0000

I’m not sure what it is that is so compelling about watching a video from the perspective of someone climbing something very tall and dangerous. Or, I guess, I don’t know why I feel like I absolutely NEED to watch every single video of someone doing this when they all only make me feel nervous and terrible. Maybe because it’s fun to feel anxious and terrible sometimes, like when you’re watching Breaking Bad? Maybe because if makes you feel safer, thinking that even though it’s getting darker earlier again and you’re going to have to walk by yourself from the subway to your apartment and what if you get raped, at least you’re not climbing the Red Gates skyscraper in Moscow, apparently Russia’s tallest skyscraper, without any safety equipment? Because if you don’t watch all the videos all the people in the videos will die and you cannot deal with having their blood on your hands, not for this? It’s a tough call. But it’s safe to say that there is at least SOME reason why we all definitely need to watch all of these terrifying videos so we might as well not put this one off any longer.

Steven Seagal Headlines Some Weird Russian Charity Concert, Obviously

Gabe — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 18:00:46 +0000

These photos are all from a charity concert held in Russia to benefit children with cancer and eye disease. Oh, good! That is a perfectly good reason to hold a charity concert. But, also, what is this charity concert? Don’t get me wrong: let’s all get out there and help those children with cancer and eye disease. But, Steven Seagal was the HEADLINER? After musical performances (MUSICAL PERFORMANCES!) by Kevin Costner and Woody Allen? I also like that the concert included actual international opera stars Andrea Bocelli and Jose Careras but when it was all said and done, the show was still headlined by STEVEN SEAGAL. Hi, Andy Garcia! Don’t worry, Andy Garcia, I didn’t forget that you were there too and how that is also weird! Oh, Russia. Sometimes you are just so yourself it is hilarious. (Via AccessAtlanta.)

Russian Pranks Are Honest

Gabe — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 17:15:15 +0000

Pranks are the worst. We know this. There are lots of reasons why: they are not fun, they are not funny, and variations on this theme. But one of the biggest reasons why pranks are the worst is that they are lies. YOU HEARD ME! Pranks are basically doing a mean thing to someone and pretending like you are not doing a mean thing. It is an extension of the “can’t you take a joke?” defense we have been talking about all week. By their very nature, pranks put the onus of legitimizing and de-criminalizing the prank on the person BEING pranked. You got pranked, so that means YOU have to be a good sport about it. What? Come on, prankers, be realistic. You jerks.

That is why I like this video compilation of Russian pranks: very honest about what is going on! It is seriously just a dude shoving people off of bikes and into oceans. He lights someone’s newspaper on fire? Hahha. Good prank. GOTCHA. You should have thought twice before sitting on a bench in Pranks Park. Fuck you.

Normal Shirts Vs. Normal Skins Stuff

Gabe — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 18:30:30 +0000

What? If you don’t know whose team you’re on, how are you supposed to know whose face to cave in?! On a sidenote: is it just me, or do you guys ever worry that Russia is TOO normal? (Via InternetToday.)

A Russian Adaptation Of How I Met Your Mother Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Gabe — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 15:30:01 +0000

There was a period in world history when the United States and Russia were mortal enemies who spent years toeing a tense diplomatic line that threatened to topple at any moment into total atomic annihilation. And now there is this.

Merry Christmas From Trololo

Gabe — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:00:30 +0000

Aww, thanks, Trololo. Merry Christmas to YOU! (Thanks for the tip, Polythene Pam.)

Vladimir Putin Sings “Blueberry Hill”

Gabe — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 17:00:38 +0000

Vladimir Putin has definitely choked someone to death before, right? Like, that’s just a given? (Thanks for the tip, Bluestockings and Mary.)

This Wedding Video Is Incredible

Gabe — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 17:45:21 +0000

In general, wedding videos, and just wedding memorabilia in general, is kind of the worst. And I say that as someone who loves a good wedding (no homo). I’ve got no problem with the institution or with the open bars at the celebrations for the institution. Let’s all get married and have a party! But then let’s shut up about it afterwards. Like, at this one office I used to work at, everyone had framed photos from their wedding on their desks. What was up with THAT? It’s annoying enough to have a photo on your desk of your significant other because RELAX, some of us are just trying to come over and drop off some files, not validate your attempts to aggressively publicize your entry into an adult world ostensibly free (but clearly not that free) from the deep-seated insecurities about your social value created in Junior High and largely unshakable to this day even with a framed photo of someone who has chosen to KISS you on your desk. But a photo from the actual wedding? Don’t make me ~~laugh~~ barf. (In retaliation, I put a frame on my desk that I bought at the goodwill, which still had torn, dirty plastic wrapping on it, and the photo that came with the frame of a young blonde woman from the mid-80s wearing some kind of denim-ish parachute blouse and told everyone it was my girlfriend, Skylar, and I’m sure this tiny act of insolence let them all know how much funnier and cooler I was than they were and I bet at night they went home and told their spouses how impressed they were with my sarcastic prop-based digs at the one thing in life that made them feel safe*. High five, me.)

All of that being said, if this couple would like to frame their wedding video and put it on their desk at work, they should. Because it’s awesome.

“It’s Not Parodies, It’s Love Of People”

Gabe — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:00:25 +0000

The Internet’s beloved Trolololololol Guy watches and reacts to people impersonating him on YouTube. How do you say “total baller” in Russian?