Paula Abdul Is Just A Straight Up Now Liar

Gabe — Fri, 08 May 2009 09:13:16 +0000

Earlier this week, it was reported that Paula Abdul admitted in an upcoming interview in Ladies’ Home Journal to a 12-year-long addiction to prescription painkillers, as well as a brief stint last fall/winter in a rehab center in Carisbad, California, to get sober. People keep saying this was a “shocking revelation,” or something like that. Maybe they don’t say “revelation,” but “shocking” is getting tossed around a lot. Fair enough. Personally, the only thing shocking about it is that Ladies’ Home Journal still exists and hasn’t been folded into Cat Fancy. But I feel like Paula Abdul’s 12-year-long addiction to prescription painkillers is the opposite of shocking, as it has already been carefully documented in everything that Paula Abdul has done. Because ah-DUH.

Well now she is saying that none of it is true. She’s even falling back on that insane “I’ve never been drunk” defense. I wish she was my lawyer. “Your honor, my case is sleepy.” From E!:

Don’t Take Painkillers for Your Face, Stephen Colbert!

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:00:30 +0000

An email came in last night right after The Colbert Report:

“Did you see The Colbert Report tonight? Stephen is definitely on painkillers. He slurs his words several times, most noticeably in the intro.”

Oh no! If you watch it with that in mind, Stephen does slur (twice) in this intro, and not the way he normally flubs a line or two. In a painkiller-y way:

It’s just speculation, of course, but could he be taking prescribed painkillers for the damage done to his face in a rumored boating accident this weekend? As a country, we need Stephen to be in top form. Hopefully he’ll downgrade to Advil soon. Painkillers are so Limbaugh-league.

Videogum » Painkillers

Paula Abdul Is Just A Straight Up Now Liar

Don’t Take Painkillers for Your Face, Stephen Colbert!