Showing All "Nightmares" Posts

[Originally posted on March 15th, 2012.] As part of this year's Videogum Oscar Pool, Kelly and I made a side bet wherein the loser had to suffer not only the indignity of making a poor guess about…   Read Story »
"It is better," said an onlooker. "Right. I mean. The thought of someone abandoning their baby in a dumpster is just horrible. It's crazy how often you hear things like that on the news -- sometimes…   Read Story »
"Oh, the bats? I love them! Do people have a problem with them? Huh. You know, people are so strange -- you grow up thinking that most people are probably like you and your family, but as you get…   Read Story »
Hey, whatever happened to minding our own business? Whatever happened to staying up on land, where we belong? Walking along the street, whistling to ourselves, thinking about our own on-land days?…   Read Story »
What the fuck is going on?! We turn our backs for two seconds, minding our own god damn business for once in our lives, and Jennifer Aniston goes and gets a Brazilian blowout to which her hair badly…   Read Story »
"I love my Halloween costume. Aaahh, I love it, I love it, I love it. I wish I could always wear my Halloween costume and just never take it off, never never never! Ha-hah, ahh, no, I'm kidding. Can…   Read Story »
I'm usually never too enthusiastic when girls choose boring, pretty Halloween costumes for a Halloween costume party, like Jackie O or Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe or Nicolas Cage Body Suit, but…   Read Story »
By now, Neil deGrasse Tyson has already tweeted about the many inaccurate elements of Gravity's plot, and Alfonso Cuarón has already responded to those who might be critical of those…   Read Story »
You wake up in your bed, same as ever, but something seems a little off. You've woken to your alarm, so it must be early morning, but outside your windows it seems like night. Actually, upon closer…   Read Story »
"Oh, it's just a little bug. It's probably more afraid of me than I am of it." That's you, right? "Why would I be afraid of a bug? It's just a part of nature. It's not going to kill me or anything.…   Read Story »