Videogum » Nick Brown

The Real World: Season Finale

Gabe — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:55:52 +0000

For as boring as this season was, and as long as each episode felt, last night’s finale seemed strangely premature. Amidst the anti-climactic goodbyes, and the tearful interviews about how much this has changed everyone, I realized that I didn’t know anything about any of these people other than that Will can cry when he thinks about wasabi, and Brianna used to be a stripper. Oh, and Kim and Sarah are unapologetically racist and ignorant. I guess I know enough about them. We open on a barbecue in which intrepid improv teacher Charna Halpern and wasted talent Andy Dick bring supplies to the house and tell everyone how proud they are of them. “As people, you’re way better than I was at your age,” Andy Dick tells them. What does that mean? Also, Andy Dick is on this show. The end. I heard next season they were going to film the whole thing on FAIL Island.

The Real World: Different Country, Same Drunk Assholes

Gabe — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:26:52 +0000

This week, the Real World house is off to Cancun, because after years of trying to broaden the casts’ horizons with safaris and trips to Nepal (RW: Seattle, 1998, son), the producers figured fuck it, we’ll save a ton of money on this trip by just sending them to Senor Frogs. When they’re told that they’re going to Cancun, Dave literally freaks the fuck out. He explains that there are not going to be any rules in Mexico. Because that’s been the thing that has been holding Dave back, all these rules. He’d be such a bigger douchebag if it weren’t for all these constraints imposed by living in a society of other human beings who hate when you take your pants off and shit in their drink. Mexico is going to be different because if there’s one thing Dave knows as an over privileged white kid from America it’s that you do NOT have to respect other cultures if you are on VACATION!

Before the trip, Will is in love with his girlfriend, former Real World castmember Janelle, but he is worried that if she doesn’t sleep with him before he leaves, he will cheat on her and not care about it. And he really wants to care about cheating on her when he does it, because that’s how you know you love someone is when you cheat on them and you don’t not give a shit. SPOILER ALERT she doesn’t sleep with him.

The Real World: Who Will Be The Next Chris Hardwick?

Gabe — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:29:39 +0000

Because this season of the Real World takes place in Hollywood, all of the housemates have an entertainment industry ambition. Brianna wants to sing. Dave wants to act. Will wants to produce. And Kim, Sarah, and Nick want to host television shows. And although I know it’s hard to imagine that he was ever even on something as pedestrian as a reality show because of how famous he is now, one only needs look at the post-Real World career comic-strip creator Judd Winick to see what a great launching pad the show can be for your talent.

Last night’s episodes dealt with two of these ambitions: Brianna’s music career, and the communal dream that Kim, Sarah, and Nick share to “host a TV show.” Because Brianna is boring, let’s just say someone lets her come into their studio and record a song that no one will ever hear in its entirety, unless she forces everyone to listen to it in the Real World Road Rules Challenge house next year. I mean, she can sing fine, but I promise you if Alicia Keys had tried to jumpstart her career by appearing on Made or some shit, the world would never have heard “No One.” Being on the Real World is like taking pre-med as an undergrad. Your life is decided for you, and it doesn’t involve being a successful recording artist.

Mugatu’s Pin Gets In The Way Of Greg From The Real World‘s Ass

Gabe — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:06:26 +0000

I know that I have said this before, but everyone on this season’s cast of The Real World needs to schedule a routine check-up with Dr. Kevorkian (so many super relevant jokes today, schwing). Just look at their MySpace and Facebook profiles. It was hard choosing which clip to post last week, because although I thought the rare intrusion of the producers was the most important event, it wasn’t as rewarding as the clip of Unapologetic Racist and Classist Kim’s remark “all strippers do it for money for their drugs, AND THAT’S A FACT.” She’s probably right. I think if you go to stripperfacts.com you’ll find out that she’s completely right.

Anyway, this week, Greg skips out on practicing with the fellow castmates’ improv troupe (which, again, worst season of Real World ever log10 to the fart power) to go be in what he claims is a fashion show.

I’m not convinced that “the jacket maneuver” was perfection, but he definitely had the right idea.