Videogum » Monkeys

A New Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes Trailer, You Guys

Gabe — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:45:43 +0000

Man, this movie still looks so ridiculous. That being said, if anyone has Freida Pinto’s number, I do still need to ask her something real quick. Thanks!

The Greatest Speech Ever Given

Gabe — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 14:30:28 +0000

OK, team, circle up. Take a knee. We’re going to go out there today and we’re going to show these guys what we’re made of. THIS IS OUR HOUSE! But before we smash their faces into the dirt, I’d like to give the floor over to Tim “Wild Thang” Lepard, who is going to say a few words:

Goats standing on a truck, check.
Superman theme music, check.
Monkeys riding dogs, check.
Answers to questions no one was asking, check.

I’m pretty sure the movie Unstoppable was about US after hearing THIS INCREDIBLE SPEECH! Make me proud out there. (Thanks for the tip, James.)

Shakma Hates Doors

Gabe — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 20:00:53 +0000

Jeez, Shakma. Relax!

The Saw 3D Trailer Vs. Baby Monkey Riding Miniature Pig

Gabe — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 15:00:07 +0000

You can watch the Saw 3D trailer here. OR: you can watch a baby monkey riding a miniature pig here. Unfortunately, you can only watch one or the other, not both. Sorry! Life is all about tough choices.

Uh Oh, The Monkeys Found Our Camera

Gabe — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:42:16 +0000

This is just really embarrassing. If one of you would go move the camera, I will work on our letter of apology to the monkeys. (Via @vultureblog.)

Kevin James Will Not Rest Until All The Animals Are Injured

Gabe — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:08:16 +0000

KEVIN JAMES! STOP IT! I KNOW YOU ARE AN ARTIST WITH AN IMPORTANT VISION, BUT AT WHAT COST, KEVIN JAMES? AND WHERE DOES IT END? From the AP:

Two movie-star monkeys and crew members of the Adam Sandler film “The Zookeeper” are among the 300 guests who were evacuated from a Boston hotel after carbon monoxide alarms went off.

Fire Department spokesman Steve MacDonald says a small boiler leak at the luxury Liberty hotel prompted elevated readings at around 9:30 a.m. Wednesday. He says the leak was fixed early afternoon.

MONKEYS SHOULD NOT BE IN HOTELS, KEVIN JAMES! MONKEYS SHOULD BE AT HOME WITH THEIR PARENTS. THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.

Kevin James had this to say:

These Monkeys Having A Pool Party Are Making Us Look The Fool

Gabe — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:30:59 +0000

Here it is, early August, and I’m sitting in my office staring at a computer screen like an absolute IDIOT, while these monkeys (literally, they are monkeys) are having a fucking pool party? Ooh la la, look at me with my evolutionary advantages and my rational thought and my lack of a prehensile tail. Aren’t I so great. CLEARLY I AM NOT. The summer is running through my fingers like the sands of a beach I still haven’t been to this season, and meanwhile, these wonderful little guys are living life the way it was meant to be lived. Who is the savage beast now? We share 99 percent of our DNA with these guys, but apparently they have a bonus one percent FUN GENE. Unbelievable.

This Is A Video Of A Monkey Making Out With A Cat

Gabe — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:17:17 +0000

This is a video of a monkey making out with a cat. So if you don’t want to see a monkey making out with a cat, then don’t watch this video. Or if you think, “surely he is kidding and this video is something other than a monkey making out with a cat,” or even, “maybe there’s a monkey making out with a cat for a little, but probably eventually the monkey stops making out with a cat and this becomes something else,” you are mistaken. I am not kidding. The monkey does not stop. This does not become something else.

Some People Do Not Deserve Their Baby Monkeys

Lindsay Robertson — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:14:06 +0000

I guess my annoyance with this girl is 100% jealousy-based, but if I had a cute little baby marmoset named Louie in my coat at my high school, I would not complain at all.

Actually, looking around that classroom, I think maybe Louie is not this girl’s marmoset, and that this girl sneaks into school after hours to play with him against the rules. And what kind of school is that, anyway? Monkey, cage, and map school. I want to go to there. (Thanks for the tip, Brad!)

Monkeys Stage Car Hood Sex Show For Hysterical Teenagers

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:51:39 +0000

I can’t figure out what language the young people in this car are speaking, but this video is a perfect specimen of YouTube storytelling: unseen human characters react exactly the way we all would to monkeys suddenly having sex on their car’s hood: with increasing hysterical screams of laughter. (I guess this is NSFW, but it’s more about the international brotherhood of Funniest Home Videos than monkey sex. Your boss should understand that.)

Best Spring Break story ever. (Thanks for the tip, Erin!)