Videogum » McDonald’s

So, McDonald’s TV Is A Real Thing

Gabe — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 14:15:41 +0000

Ugh, don’t you hate how when you go to McDonald’s there’s no TV to watch? I know, riiiiight?! I have always said that the experience of eating at a McDonald’s was almost the best experience you could have eating anywhere ever, if only there was a close circuited loop of McDonald’s specific programming playing on a grease-smeared television. Well now there will be! From the LA Times:

McDonald’s customers will soon be able to have local school sports, movie previews and heartwarming human interest stories to go with their fries — McTV is here and in high definition.

In one of the most unusual twists in niche programming, the global fast-food chain is launching the McDonald’s Channel, a digital network of exclusive original content targeted at dine-in customers. The programming will be customized to specific communities around the individual restaurants, and will include local news and entertainment features, such as spotlights on upcoming films, albums and TV shows.

Wait a second, movie previews AND heartwarming human interest stories? Cancel my TimeWarner subscription, WE’RE LIVIN’ AT MCDONALD’S! I’m not sure that I would really call this an unusual twist in niche programming. If anything, it’s weird that McDonald’s hasn’t already done this? Like, I bet you that when this is a real thing and every McDonald’s features McTV (thumbs up on this name, boys) not a single person will be like, “What? This surprises me!” Everyone will just be like “Put everything in my body, all of it. Oh look, a heartwarming human interest story.” In what is an equally usual twist in BLOGGING, we have a list of some of the upcoming shows on McTV after the jump:

Anti-Coning Is The New Coning

Gabe — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:15:24 +0000

Coning is out. Anti-coning is in. Ice cream remains delicious!

Congratulations to Don Gorske, on Everything

Kelly — Wed, 18 May 2011 19:30:56 +0000

What have you accomplished, I guess? What have I accomplished? What has anyone ever accomplished. Don Gorske has eaten 25,000 Big Macs and at least, when he is about to die which should reasonably be very soon but I guess might not actually be, and someone asks him what he has ever done, he will know exactly what to say: “I know the exact number of Big Macs I have eaten and I can tell you for a fact that it is over 25,000.”

So, congratulations on keeping perfect account of your Big Mac consumption, Don Gorske, and we hope you don’t stop keeping track now just because you’ve reached 25,000. Your job is not finished! Please eat all the rest of the Big Macs. (via TheDailyWhat.)

That’s Your Girlfriend: Woman Freaking Out About Chicken McNuggets

Gabe — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 13:30:29 +0000

You would be the first to admit that your girlfriend has a bit of a temper. You know that, of course you know that. If she can’t have her way, if, for example, a woman at a McDonald’s drive-thru window tells her that she can’t order chicken McNuggets because it’s 6:30 in the morning and they are not serving chicken McNuggets yet, sure, she’ll get out of the car and start trying to crack some skullz. No doubt about it. And there was that one week that she worked as a flight attendant, but quit in a huff after an argument with a passenger by activating the emergency exit slide and jumping out of the plane. But that’s just her passion coming to the surface. She is a woman filled with passion. And covered in pink jersey cotton. You love her so much.

McDonald’s Executive Goes On The Record As A Christian Homophobe

Gabe — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:00:49 +0000

Remember that French McDonald’s commercial that featured a young gay man being young and gay? Well, an American executive at the McDonald’s corporation, Operations Chief Don Thompson, has FINALLY broken his legendary silence about the ad. And by “broken his silence” I of course mean “gingerly mumbled his way through a bunch of mildly homophobic gibberish.” His response, after being asked about the ad, from AdFreak:

It is an example that markets, cultures are very different around the world. I’ve never shied away from the fact that I’m a Christian. I have my own personal beliefs, and I don’t impose those on anybody else. I’ve been in countries where the majority of the people in the country don’t believe in a deity, or they may be atheist. Or the majority of the country is Muslim. Or it may be the majority is much younger skewed. So, when you look at all these differences, it’s not that I’m to be the judge or the jury relative to right or wrong. Having said that, at McDonald’s, there are core values we stand for, and the world is getting much closer. So, we have a lot of conversations. We’re going to make some mistakes at times. [We talk] about things that may have an implication in one part of the world and may be the cultural norm in another part of the world. And those are things that, yes, we’re going to learn from. But you’re right, that commercial won’t show in the United States.

Setting aside the fact that McDonald’s is garbage food and no one should eat it, regardless of their sexual orientation: WHAT IS THIS DUDE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT? He is a Christian but some people are Muslims? Perfect. It’s weird this genius isn’t Operations Chief of the World! (Also, what imaginary country has he been to where everyone is atheist?) Obviously, no one expected the ad to ever air in the United States. God forbid Bill O’Reilly’s HEAD EXPLODED. But is this guy seriously arguing that France (FRANCE!) is some alien planet? Some sort of hellish nightmarescape, I’m sure. “A place where human beings are allowed to be gay and enjoy a cheap, environmentally irresponsible hamburger loaded with fat, sugar, and sodium? ABSURD!”

Fuck McDonald’s Operation Chief Don Thompson.

The World Is Filled With Toxic Garbage

Gabe — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 18:00:15 +0000

McDonald’s is recalling 12 million souvenir Shrek Ever After glasses because the paint used to depict all our favorite pals is filled with toxic cadmium, which, when ingested, can lead to bone softening and kidney problems. As if it even matters.

Duh Aficionado Magazine: McDonald’s Is Bad For Gay People, Too

Gabe — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:45:41 +0000

McDonald’s has released a commercial in France featuring a (le gasp) gay person!

Oh wow, this is about to get so complicated! These guys know what I’m talking about. Because on the one hand, great, I guess. Right? I mean, in the on-going struggle to provide equal rights to homosexuals (in 2010, for heaven’s sake) there’s certainly no real harm in presenting them as human beings who participate in the same activities as non-gay human beings, for example stuffing their bodies with GARBAGE. And the ad itself is pretty charming! It has soft, moody music, the kid seems like a real kid, the dad seems like a dad, and we’ve all been to McDonald’s, so it works, you know! But then you kind of think about it for a couple of seconds, and the whole thing falls apart.

Somehow, The McDonald’s Job Fair Wasn’t Very Good

Gabe — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:51:40 +0000

Dude is pissed!

A genuine Snickers need a fucking moment moment if I’ve ever heard one. (Thanks for the tip, Josh.)

McDonald’s Panders To The Laid-Off Working Class Dad Market

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:09:34 +0000

A father and daughter sit in awkward silence at what appears to be a McDonald’s somewhere in ~~the American midwest~~ definitely Canada. As a rowdy group of hockey player kids rustle in from the snow, the little girl asks her strong but silent parent if he’s ever wished she was a boy, “A boy…?” he says, trailing off. Then he looks at his McDonald’s premium coffee cup, ’cause he don’t need any fancy Starbucks, twisting the lid as he searches for the right answer. “A boy? I just want my fucking job and house back, sweetie. Get over yourself.”

Is This A McDonald’s Commercial Or A PETA Commercial?

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 11:53:31 +0000

Either way, this McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish commercial is on all the time this week! Every show. This is the “I want my baby back baby back baby back” of March 2009. The “five dollar footlongs,” if you will:

This doesn’t make me want a filet-o-fish (gross.) This just makes me miss The Sopranos.