Videogum » Masturbation

The TWSS Archives: Australian Today Show Wii “Curling Challenge” Moment

Gabe — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:30:12 +0000

Date: February 28, 2010
Time: 8:38 AM
Location: Sydney, Australia
Source: Channel 9 (thanks for the tip, Rand McTally)
Description: In on air morning news segment, two Australian anchors demonstrate motion-based curling game for Nintendo Wii. Both presenters inadvertently simulate certain facets of sexual act, while simultaneously exclaiming verbal TWSS. Due to graphic nature of physical movements and the almost too-perfect verbal TWSS, this moment practically feels like it isn’t a TWSS at all, but is in fact the source material from where TWSS is generally drawn (actual sex). In reality, verbal TWSS is definitely a TWSS, and physical movement of hands to simulate the manipulation of a penis is a rare form of physical TWSS, or TWSD, if you will. End result is a complex and highly sophisticated form of advanced TWSS. To cement the event’s status as TWSS, female anchor expresses understanding of possible interpretations of footage, but continues anyway, providing the momentary but ultimately ignored self-awareness of your classic TWSS. FILE UNDER: Physical TWSS, Complex TWSS, Classic TWSS, LOLk.

The Shake Weight Has Got To Be Kidding Us

Gabe — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:27:54 +0000

Ladies, your bodies are so fat! It’s disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Luckily, many of you are. Good work, women’s magazines and all other media and also society! Ladies, it’s important to stay thin and fit and toned so that a man will give you a baby. Perhaps one of the ways you would like to do this is with a new invention called the Shake Weight? Check out these incredible facts:

Based on a completely new workout technology called Dynamic Inertia, which ignites the muscles in your arms, shoulders, and chest
Scientific studies prove that the Shake Weight increases upper body muscle activity by more than 300% compared to traditional weights
Works out your entire upper body in just 6 minutes a day

You love new workout technologies and scientific studies! This sounds like a dream imposed on you by the demands of a weight-and-physical beauty obsessed culture come true! Let’s see this thing in action. I bet it doesn’t look like you double-fisted jacking off a penis at all!

That’s Your Boyfriend: The Sunroof Masturbator

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 12 May 2009 14:11:27 +0000

Your poor boyfriend forgot to close his sunroof while jerking off in the car he very unfortunately chose to park under the offices of a Canadian internet company. So they took video, and laughed a lot, and alerted your boyfriend to their presence. Safe for work:

I think my favorite part is all the strong Canadian accents. And the moments after the guy knows he’s caught but before he drives away.

Christie Brinkley’s Ex Jokes About Masturbation With Barbara Walters

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:10:03 +0000

So Peter Cook went on 20/20 on Friday for some reason, where he was interviewed by Barbara Walters about all the stuff he did that made Christie Brinkley divorce him. The guy was obviously trying to clear his name and regain some sort of dignity after all the humiliation he’s gone through. But in this incredibly uncomfortable moment where Barbara Walters takes him to task for masturbating on camera, Cook can’t resist making a jerking-off-related pun:

Is There An Emmy For Sound Editing?

Gabe — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:45:09 +0000

We all know about the magic of foley artists. They’re the guys who make everything sound like horse hooves and fire. Those are the two sounds. Anyhow, they’re involved in all the movies and TV shows, but the place where their work is most necessary is in the creation of cartoons. I’m sorry, I’m trying to make this post seem really important and informational, when the fact of the matter is that it sounded like there was a guy masturbating in last night’s episode of The Simpsons.

I rest my case.