Videogum » Mario Batali

A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook

Gabe — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:30:53 +0000

Eater has bravely taken an in-depth look at Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook, which they describe thusly:

The cookbook is many things: it is aspirational and sweet, it is seasonally-minded, it is unintentionally very funny, and it offers dinner party ideas and patronizing “working-parent dinners.” The recipes are not that different from the many other tomes out there. Well, except that it offers vegan and child-friendly alternatives and has a foreword from buddy Mario Batali and name drops Jamie Oliver, Leonardo DiCaprio, and her “favorite vegetarian friend,” Stella McCartney.

Hahaha. Sure. Name-dropping Leonardo DiCaprio. Right. I mean, come on, it’s a cookbook. What is she going to do, NOT name-drop Leonardo DiCaprio? Anyway, I have not seen the book because Gwyneth’s “people” didn’t send me an advance copy for some reason. Weird. But Eater was also helpful enough to include some of their favorite quotes. You can read the full list at their site, but here are some of my favorites:

Gwyneth Paltrow And Mario Batali Are Winos Together

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:32:01 +0000

Gwyneth Paltrow was on Oprah this afternoon promoting how perfect her life is and the cooking book she co-wrote with chef Mario Batali. At the very end, Gwyneth showed Oprah her favorite cooking accessory, a vacuum thing that keeps wine fresh. There was this great awkward moment where Mario self-righteously claimed not to know what it was because he never has any wine left over, and Gwyneth self-righteously claimed to always have wine left over, and Oprah tried to make things light with a joke about drinking alone, but generally it was made clear that they never use that device because they’re all winos:

The Revolution Will Be After Gwyneth Paltrow And Mario Batali Are Televised

Gabe — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:20:27 +0000

Here’s the thing, fames: you did it, OK? We get it. You cracked the code on how to live a life of cultured ease with delicious food, exotic travel, and the constant company of friends who are at financial ease and enjoy each other’s well-coiffed company. Enjoy it. But LEAVE US OUT OF IT. Look, I don’t have it so bad. I have an oversized television, access to health care, and don’t have to eat fried mud cakes. But this upcoming PBS show about Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali traveling across the Spanish countryside, giggling and eating, giggling and eating, makes even me, the picture of blithe bourgeois contentment, want to burn down the alienating artifice of modern society.

It’s like making America watch the slideshow of their honeymoon the weekend we all got dumped. The part where Gwyneth laughs heartily at the Spanish joke her Spanish friend makes over hors d’oeuvres on the glassed in patio is the part where I began the slow but necessary process of weaning myself off the over-arching support systems created by the ruling class to placate the masses to keep them from questioning the hegemonic control of the capitalist architects. Just kidding, let’s go shopping.