Videogum » Kim Zolciak

Here Are Some Afternoon Links!

Kelly — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:15:41 +0000

Hey everybody, Beavis and Butt-Head re-premieres on MTV tonight! It will be the first new Beavis and Butt-Head since 1997, when we were juusst getting rid of all of our black flannel that we had been wearing since 1994, in mourning of Kurt Cobain’s death. Memories! -Ain’tItCool
Speaking of, Salon has a review up talking about the new Beavis and Butt-Head and how they don’t really enjoy it because it’s the same as the old Beavis and Butt-Head and we’re all adults now and maybe we don’t even like Beavis and Butt-Head anymore. Uh, Salon? Can’t you just let everyone pretend they’re still going to enjoy it for two seconds before even the memory of it is probably ruined for them? -Salon
Adam Scott does a dead-on impersonation of Hillary Duff in this interview with Celebuzz, while wearing a very well-fitted suit. It almost doesn’t even fit him, that’s how well it fits him! Probably if he had a snack it wouldn’t fit him anymore. -Celebuzz
Aaron Paul is on Twitter now! Follow him! Tell him to follow me! -@aaronpaul_8
Another Muppets parody trailer was released today. Great! I almost forgot about that movie and how that movie has made so many parody trailers and how it’s gotten harder and harder to be endeared by them! Very glad they were able to jog my memory. (This one is actually kind of endearing though.) -TheDailyWhat
Watch Justin Timberlake talk about his childhood time spent with Ryan Gosling, on Ellen. They sound adorable. And they are adorable now. Just a lifetime of being adorable and almost famous, and then REALLY famous. -Towelroad
Have you seen the first picture of the new Three Stooges yet? I won’t put any opinions in your head if you haven’t, but let me just say that it isn’t overwhelmingly anything. -Movieline
I don’t know who Kim Zolciak is really, I mean I know that she’s a Real Housewife because I read that in this article, but whatever, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that it looks like she’s a Svedka Vodka bot for Halloween? Or maybe just for normal times, but, guys, Halloween is this weekend and even though I’ve been talking about it for months I don’t have a costume and I don’t really see myself getting one. This is terrible! Life is a nightmare. Do you have a costume? What is your costume? -TheSuperficial

An Open Letter To The Real Housewives Of Atlanta

Gabe — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:04:06 +0000

Dear the Real Housewives of Atlanta,

Goodbye!

Last night, of course, marked the finale of your second season, so in some senses this could have been goodbye for now. A temporary hiatus, as you all go back to your foreclosing McMansions and pour white wine into your wounds. Brush out your wigs. Take a few months to rest your scream-muscles and your refill your betrayal batteries. But I’m not saying goodbye “for now.” I’m saying goodbye “forever.”

I mean, honestly, we can’t keep doing this, can we? Don’t answer that.

You were a lot of fun last year, in season one. We were all on board with The Black Real Housewives. And Kim! What an American Treasure she turned out to be. Not only is she attentive and caring towards her children, a talented singer, and the definition of a housewife (in that she is married and lives in a house, not an ugly duplex), but she’s also just really pleasant to look at. (THE REAL OPPOSITES OF THIS BLOG POST!) We have all been so lucky and to have been able to invite her into our homes every week.

But things have changed.

The Kim Zolciak Halloween Costume Is A Joke

Gabe — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:22:32 +0000

Oh, good. Now you, too, can be a melty-faced mentally disabled transvestite swamp monster with a wildly distorted self-image! Boo*!

To be fair, that is terrifying. I’m usually supportive of people who are willing to play along with a joke that makes fun of their public image. It suggests that they don’t take themselves too seriously, and that they have a sense of humor about the construct of fame and the stark difference between a persona and a real person. But I do NOT support THIS! Even when she’s making fun of herself, Kim is the worst. What a terrible person. I’m not saying that I wish anything bad to happen to her, because I don’t wish bad things to happen to anyone. I’m just saying that if I was the type of person who did wish bad things to happen to people, she might make the list! Let there be no confusion: there is no list. Kim is not on a list of people to whom bad things should happen. I hope that she leads a long and fulfilled life in a mansion made out of white wine and negligent parenting. It’s just that if there was a list, which there isn’t, there’s a pretty decent chance she would be on the list, but she’s not.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ALMOST! (Thanks for the tip, Sydney.)

*Here, the term “boo!” is being used as both the sound that a ghost makes and the sound of sharp disapproval.

Real Housewife Of Atlanta Kim Zolciak’s First Single Is The Bomb (Destroying Your Ears)

Gabe — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:11:30 +0000

Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, the melty-faced living nightmare with a closet full of trashy clothes that don’t even fit her, has long made her wish and dream to be a successful singer known. One assumes that she actually joined the cast of the show because she thought it would be good publicity for her music career. It hasn’t been. At all. It has been the opposite of that. You know how they say that there is no such thing as bad publicity? That is no longer true. Kim Zolciak changed the rules.

But that hasn’t stopped her from recording a song called “Tardy for the Party” and allowing the world to hear it. Whoops! You should have kept this one on your Zune, Kim Zolciak. To play for your daughter. The one person who still respects you (maybe). Ouch. Was that too mean? I’m so sorry. People who go on TV and say things like “I get plastic surgery so that I don’t have to go to the gym,” over and over as if that is a badge of honor representing the ideal life, and then add “I don’t even know how much it costs, I just put it on my credit card” because they are all class, totally deserve to be treated like dignified human beings. My bad. I’m sure that lots of people respect Kim Zolciak (i am not sure). She still should have kept this shit on her Zune, though, for private consumption. Friends and family only.

NO SPOILERS but this song (after the jump) is not very good!

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta Are Losing Their Shit

Gabe — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:18:10 +0000

Both figuratively and literally. Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim called the police after being “attacked” by Real Housewife of Atlanta Nene. Fair enough. But does she really have to use the call as publicity for the new season and also for owning a Bentley? Yuck! And Lisa Wu Hartwell lost her home to foreclosure? WHAT IS HAPPENING DOWN THERE, LADIES?!

Kim Zolciak Spent All Her Money On Her Last Wig Or What?

Gabe — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:50:55 +0000

Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim Zolciak’s blog is temporarily down due to non-payment. That is funny to us. How much does a reality “star”‘s blog cost to keep online these days anyway? Four dollars? Five dollars? Good thing it’s not Real Housewives of Internet Town!!!!! Riiiiight?!!!! (Woof.)

The Sundance Film Festival Has Nuked The Wig (Sorry), Or Whatever

Gabe — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:53:49 +0000

The annual Sundance Film Festival kicked off yesterday. Now, we all know that what mythically started as an enthusiastic enclave for independent filmmakers has long ago degenerated into a week-long, sweaty-palmed, Red Bull-fueled, is that Dax Shepard?, Entourage-y nightmare. There’s no confusion over whether or not it has become a snow-covered satellite of the schwag-bag circle jerk of contemporary Hollywood. (A: True.) But this year it’s even worse. This year, Real Housewife of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak, will be there for some reason. From her livejournal:

I am heading to Park City, Utah tomorrow. I am extremely excited about it and will update you from there throughout the weekend with photos and mini blogs.

Shut it down.

Kim Zolciak’s New Year’s Resolution Is To Have The Worst Blog

Gabe — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:36:44 +0000

After a nice, long vacation it can be hard to know where to even begin to pick up the thread again. I could spend the whole morning banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what was still worth talking about and what it was better to leave to slip between the vacation cracks. Or, I could just make fun of Kim Zolciak’s new blog (via JustJared). No stress.

She only has one post up so far, from yesterday, so it’s really just a baby blog, and I’m sure that there will be lots of hilarious anecdotes and really insightful ruminations in the future (I am not sure that there will be lots of hilarious anecdotes and really insightful ruminations in the future). But for now it’s just pictures from her Christmas Bahamanian vacation with her children and it’s the worst.

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Does Not Have Cancer

Gabe — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:34:17 +0000

There were so many preview clips on-line in the run-up to the Housewives reunion that it was kind of anti-climactic. Sure, it’s exciting for NeNe to threaten to pull Kim’s wig off, and even the moderator (Andy “Whoops, My Life!” Cohen) was taken aback by the vehemence with which Lisa Wu threatened to flip Kim over the sofa, but those things didn’t actually result in wig pulling or sofa flipping. So, you know, meh. But boy, everyone sure hates Kim! Not just the ladies, either. Cohen’s questions to her were more pointed than to the rest of the cast. And when they brought out the honorary sixth housewife, Dwight, he immediately busted all up on Kim’s hairpiece. OH SNAP. It was almost too much to bear. Almost. Except that Kim really brings it on herself.

Personally, as intense as the almost-fights and the Kim bashing were, nothing was as shocking as the part where Kim talked about her hair:

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Where Are They Now?

Gabe — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 10:39:42 +0000

I AM SO DRUNK! Last night’s finale was everything that could have been hoped for in a low rent, third tier cable reality show about downmarket socialites in Atlanta, Georgia. There was fighting! And empty attempts at peacemaking! There was Michael Knight from Project Runway! Read your contract more carefully before you go on Project Runway! Kim got ripped a new one by Dallas Austin. That was incredible. He basically was just calling her to collect on the bill for using his studio and pretending to be under his wing, but then explained to her that this whole country singer thing would never happen. Never ever, never ever ever.

Obviously, we’re all waiting for next week’s Reunion Episode because REAL TALK, guys, that is the only reason to even watch this show. It’s so that when the Reunion Episode comes on you aren’t all, like, “Who are these fighting bitches.” You know they’re names! You go, “That one’s NeNe,” or “Punch that Crypt Keeper in the face, Lisa!” And you know that the Crypt Keeper is Kim. The regular season is the prerequisite course for the advanced placement reunion.

But one thing that is good about the season finale is the American Graffiti style post-script we’re given about what’s going on with each of the ladies since the season stopped taping: