Videogum » Kidz Bop

Kidz Bop FINALLY Covers “Single Ladies”

Gabe — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 21:30:18 +0000

Good news, guys: you can finally delete those “kidz bop single ladies” google alerts. Waiting is the best sauce? Gross. Also, you were waiting for this? Gross. But also: sauce. Gross. IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! GO TO JAIL! YOU’RE ARRESTED!

What is even going on here?! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT AN AMBER ALERT ON IT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A CHRIS HANSEN IN A GILLY SUIT TACKLING YOU IN THE DRIVEWAY ON IT. Go to your room, everyone.

Thursday, January 27th, Ends With Kidz Bop Covering Usher

Gabe — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:39:09 +0000

Hey, that’s just how it goes sometimes. Some days don’t end with Kidz Bop covering Usher, but some days–and this day in particular–definitely do.

The DJ at my old bowling alley was named DJ Romeo, so I really relate to this song. I particularly like when the kidz sing (or do they bop?) “dance like it’s the last night of your life.” Haha. You’re all nine-years-old. What do you know of mortality? What do you know of love for that matter? Ah well. Goodnight, children. I hope you live to see tomorrow.

Kids Cover Devo The Darndest Things

Gabe — Mon, 25 May 2009 17:29:38 +0000

Apologize, Kidz Bop. Apologize to these heroes.

Kidz Bop Opens Children’s Eyes To The World Of Furries

Gabe — Fri, 22 May 2009 09:32:55 +0000

Human sexuality is a many and varied thing (perfect, class is in session). And it starts when we are very young (please save your questions until the end of my powerful lecture). It can take many years even as an adult to define and embrace one’s sexuality, but the more we can make the world an open and understanding place where everyone is entitled to explore their self identity and feel safe to acknowledge who they really are, the happier a place it will be, and the more time people will have to focus on changing the true problems of the world. That is why I support this Kidz Bop video for their cover of Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want to Be.” It says to our children “Hey, do you associate yourself with furry culture? Do you want to get dressed up in a brightly colored animal costume and dance with other furries in a hotel ballroom? Do you want to have a furry affair like Turtle did on that one episode of Entourage? Well you can’t yet, because you are only a child. But it is OK to want those things, and one day your parents won’t be able to tell you shit.”

Party Party: The Dance Party Album Of Nightmares

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 20 May 2009 13:27:40 +0000

At first I thought this couldn’t be real, but apparently, it is: before there was Kidz Bop, the mysterious 1980′s produced a party record of musak versions of lame, silly songs to get your extremely lame party started. Remember the guy who wouldn’t dance? He’s your dad:

Hahaha, “The Bird Dance” — because “The Chicken Dance” was too avant garde and copyrighted and super cool. If Google’s list of weird file sharing sites with track listings from this album are to be trusted, this was a very real thing that existed, though it’s hard to believe these records weren’t just secretly filled with cocaine. (Thanks for the tip, Amanda!)

Kids Sing About Divorce And Bar Fighting The Darndest Things

Gabe — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 09:08:06 +0000

Remember when Pink turned her sad, failed marriage to X-Games star Carey Hart into a fist-pumping bar rock anthem for people who think Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” is the godsong that the angels play on their lyres when you get to heaven? Now imagine if that same terrible, fist-pumping, adult-themed bar rock anthem was sung by children teasing the hormonal border of a sexually active adolesence. Now stop imagining it and start living it.

That’ll do, Kidz Bop. That’ll do.

Future Parents, Do You Know What Your Kidz Bop Are Doing?

Gabe — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:10:11 +0000

Kidz Bop is old news, but you know what else is old news? The Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and that’s still worth talking about (perfect analogy, very sensitive to the human cost). It’s just so endlessly fascinating in the way that things that make you feel really old and really scared are endlessly fascinating. It’s impossible to watch this Kidz Bop video and not be confronted both by the general terror of having children, but also to be confronted with your own mortality, because what this video says to everyone who is older than 9 is “the world no longer needs your services.” It’s no mistake that every setting involves a child playing some kind of adult role in a world completely devoid of any adults. Even something as innocuous (seeming) as a little girl in a dance studio is creepy and threatening when you realize that she’s alone in the dance studio. BECAUSE SHE OWNS IT AND PAYS A MORTGAGE ON IT.

Jesus. Stuff of Nightmares.

Wacky Morning Zoo DJs Scandalized By Kidz Bop Version Of “Lollipop”

Lindsay Robertson — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:08:12 +0000

(Update: haha, it’s fake and I fell for it too.) We all know what “Kidz Bop” is, right? It’s these CDs that come out every few months with kids singing the new popular songs, and every kid under 10 in America apparently buys them. There are a lot of YouTube parodies of Kidz Bop using suggestive songs, like “Baby Got Back”, and sometimes the lyrics are tweaked to make them more appropriate for children. But as these (hilariously shocked and indignant) Hot 99 DJs point out, this is a real Kidz Bop song, and there really isn’t much you can do to make Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” not be a song about blow jobs:

I like when the mom calls in and makes it clear that “There’s nothing wrong with the beat. The beat is fine.”