Videogum » Kids

We Can Only Hope To Be Like Kaylee Blowing Out The Candle

Kelly — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:30:41 +0000

You might watch this video of Kaylee blowing out her birthday (I assume) candle and think, “Hey, Kaylee? Maybe you should relax a bit.” Continuing to yourself as if you’re having a dialoge, you’d think, “Kaylee, what you’re doing is clearly not working and it looks like you’re going to pass out. You should forget about it. Just forget about the candle and move on. Kaylee? Are you listening?” She won’t be listening because she is a video and you are in your own head, but still you’ll be like, “Kaylee, listen. I’m older than you and I know how these things work. You try and try and try and everybody watching you can see that you’re getting nowhere, but for some reason you can’t really perceive that yourself. Blind, failing ambition. The failures will help you grow, but the feeling of having wasted so much of your time will stick with you and weigh you down. Kaylee. So, just, my goodness. Just please stop trying to blow out– JUST STOP IT!” But she won’t stop.

Can This Kid Just Have Some Doughnuts For Once In His Life?

Kelly — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 22:00:04 +0000

Listen mom, for crying out loud, if you’re going to confuse the kid with a million questions about doughnuts of COURSE he’s going to get a little turned around about the whole situation. But the facts are that he has NOT had any doughnuts, that he HAS eaten his rice and beans, and that he would just like two doughnuts right now please. That’s all! End of story. No hard feelings, just an honest request for a couple of doughnuts. (Via BuzzFeed.)

Portal Bedroom Is The Best Bedroom

Kelly — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:00:29 +0000

There is almost nothing better than watching an adorable child be enthusiastic about something. Right? Almost any kind of thing. Like I’m sure it was very cute to walk into my bedroom when I was an 11-year-old and find it absolutely covered, pretty much all the wall space, in Hanson posters and pictures of Hanson torn out of TeenBop magazines. Certainly not a little dumb, even for a child, or kind of weird and gross. Just a cool kid who likes a sense of her own space in the world. Just like this kid! Oh my goodness do I love this kid! I have never played Portal, but I know that it’s about puzzles (I think?) (right?) (puzzles?), and after I watched this video for the first time last night I had a friend — who DOES play Portal — explain to me what all the different Portal things in this super cute kid’s room are about. That’s how dedicated I am to this video. I first loved it, based on no knowledge, and then I learned about it and loved it even more. “What does ‘the cake is a lie’ mean?” is a question I asked, for example. And, uh — DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? That means a scary thing!* Perhaps too scary of a thing to have written on a baby’s wall, but this baby seems pretty tough so I guess he can probably handle it.

Don’t Jump, Edward: A Kind Of Question About Viral Videos

Kelly — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 16:30:00 +0000

Last night, some friends of mine were talking about the “I Like Turtles” YouTube video. I’m sure you remember that video, it is apparently a very popular one. I, on the other hand, did not remember that video and in fact somehow I think I had never actually seen it. If you can even imagine!!! And my friend said, “You work at Videogum and you haven’t seen the ‘I LIKE TURTLES’ video?” And I was like, SHUT UP MAYBE NO ONE EVER EVEN WROTE ABOUT IT ON VIDEOGUM. So I searched for it on Videogum and did find it here. Oops! Oh well. Then we started watching every single video on that top ten list in the post I just linked to and, guys, a bunch of those hold up, specifically “Boom Goes the Dynamite.” Go to that link and watch that one again, hahah, oh man, it is so good. But looking at this list made me ask this question to myself and then now to you: Did very good viral videos arise more frequently in the years before, say, maybe 2009? Or does it just seem that way to me only? There are certainly lots of GREAT viral videos these days too, specifically THIS ONE and also THIS ONE, but it seems like they are fewer and farer between. Right? Or no? Maybe not. Maybe it’s just because that “Boom Goes the Dynamite” video is so good that it threw me into a weird viral video depression because you can only experience that video as if it were new once every few years — once you forget. Someone write a poem about this for me please I’m in a bad place.

Oh yeah anyway what I’m getting to is this video, “DON’T JUMP, EDWARD!” It’s got lots of classic Internet video components like English accents, kids hurting themselves a little, and parents filming it when maybe they shouldn’t be. Great, let’s check it out. After you go back to this post and watch “Boom Goes the Dynamite.”

Kids Krumping Is The Best Thing Around

Gabe — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 14:15:59 +0000

Please write this down: when I die, I would like my funeral to be a joyous celebration* of life for all of my loved ones, with plenty of good food and loud music, and I would like these krumping children to dance as a reminder that there is still beauty in this world and that it resides in our children. “But Gabe, do you think it’s a little bit weird to ask strange children that you’ve never even met to come dance at a dead man’s funeral? Not only weird for your friends and family, who would want to respect your wishes but might find those wishes at odds with their own idea of how to pay their respects to your passing, but particularly weird for the children, who might not yet have the emotional development to process such an event, much less their unusual role in it?” YOU WOULD DARE TO ARGUE WITH A DYING MAN’S LAST WISHES?! Alright, add this to the list: anyone who defies this final request will ALSO have to krump at my funeral. Oh, don’t know how to krump? Well then my funeral is going to be very humiliating for you, and maybe you should have kept your goddamned mouth shut until my will had been notarized. I rest all of my cases in pieces. (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

*This is not actually true. I want my funeral to be a miserable sea of tears because everyone is so sad because the worst thing that could ever happen has: I have died.

Army Dad Comes Home And Surprises His Kids

Kelly — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 18:00:09 +0000

No one is crying, right? We’re all just, as a group, not crying and just acting totally normal and not even WANTING to cry about anything in particular. We’re all just thinking about how we’re grateful that this video didn’t end up like “The Gift.” That’s pretty much all that’s on our mind right now. Just that nightmare-inducing song and how we’re all upset that we have to think about it whenever someone tries to put a living thing in a box as if it’s a non-living gift. That’s it, though. Nothing about this video, or the kids in this video, or the girl in particular. Stop looking at us for a minute. (Via VVV.)

If You Believe In Yourself, You Will Know How To Ride A Bike!

Kelly — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 17:30:17 +0000

This is just the best motivational speech I have ever heard. I’ve never been on a sports team (“I don’t believe it”), but if I were ever on any type of sports team this is the speech I would want to hear before all the games. And the speech I would want to hear after I lost all the games. “You will get the hang of it, I know it!” I believe that I will! If I just keep practicing! Let’s all go out and learn how to ride our bikes and also learn how to use our U-locks!! (Via BestRoofTalkEver.)

Too Big for Strollers

huckabeast — Mon, 09 May 2011 18:36:24 +0000

We’re gonna need a bigger stroller! Alternatively: Where we’re going, we DO need strollers! “Huckabeast is doing so great today, guys! FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!” -Everyone

(Thanks for the tip, Werttrew.)

APPLE STORE DANCE TO CHECK IT OUT!!

Gabe — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 17:30:27 +0000

Funnily enough, this reminds me of another Nicki Minaj song: “I’m the Best.” (Thanks for the tip, werttrew and Ian.)

Kids Krump The Darndest Things

Gabe — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 20:00:06 +0000

To the best of my understanding, having children is mostly miserable. When you first get one, they poop and pee everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE (thank you, ladies and germs!). Then, once they get that worked out, you have to teach them, well, basically, everything, because their stupid brains are completely empty. Once you’ve gotten that to a manageable level, that is when the children start snorting drugs and fucking each other and driving, sometimes all three at the same time, so you’ve got that to think about. Oh, and P.S. it’s all FOREVER until you DIE. (Unless they die first which is apparently EVEN WORSE.) But there must be something to it, because people definitely keep getting these things. I do think that there must be brief moments between all of blood, poop, and tears, when you look at your children and think: “I made that. I brought that into this world. And it just the absolute best.”

It helps if the children are krumping.