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Historic Trash Talk: The Ultimate Fighter Edition, Part 5

Gabe — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:35:18 +0000

Oh wow. At the end of last week’s episode, when Efrain Escudero beat Shane Nelson with a triangle choke it so enraged his mentally unhinged friend Junie Browning that Junie JUMPED INTO THE CAGE and tried to fight everyone. That guy is really something precious and special. I’m sure that his mother isn’t very proud and that’s one of the main reasons he is like this. Anyway, it would seem like Junie might have an AMERICAN LOCK (Jiu Jitsu joke, guys. I’m going to submit you…with laughter!) on the trash talk. He’s a mean drunk and a meaner sober and has the necessary lack of filter to run verbal roughshod over everyone’s black-eyed face (everyone on this show has a black eye all the time.)

But in last night’s episode, as the escalation of inter-reality-show-house prank wars hit a new high, with frozen underwear (nullus), itching powder in the beds, and sardines smeared on the walls, a new contender in trash talk emerged. Guys, I’d like you to meet Vinny Magalhaes.

Historic Trash Talk: The Ultimate Fighter Edition, Part 4

Gabe — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:50:56 +0000

One of the delights of reality TV, or the depressing sadnesses, depending on your particular outlook, is the extraordinary lengths that the contestants will go to express their intense disdain for their fellow competitors without coming to physical blows. Traditionally, a thrown punch, or even some lesser acts of physical aggression, result in the immediate disqualification and dismissal of the attacker. So reality show contestants will throw food in each other’s faces, or use harsh invectives. The puffed-up-chest posturing is also popular, and perhaps the favorite technique on every show lately is that if you want to hit someone you tauntingly demand that they hit you instead. All of this happened in last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, except that our lead trash talker, Junie Browning, actually didn’t restrain himself at all. He threw a glass at someone, cutting their arm. He shoved people in the throat. He pulled someone into the pool. He demanded to kick everyone’s ass right then and there. And then, like last week, he broke down into tears. I really feel a lot of sympathy for Junie Browning, who seems like a young man struggling with a crushing load of rage issues and possible alcoholism, who also happens to be trained in the art of combat and physical harm. Whoops.

Normally, this would lead to Junie Browning getting kicked off the show, and that’s what it seemed was going to happen. But then it just didn’t. UFC President Dana White agreed to give Junie one more chance, and he tearfully thanked him and apologized to everyone in the house for his behavior. OK! Redemption. Forgiveness.

Except that within a matter of hours he was right back at it.

Historic Trash Talk: The Ultimate Fighter Edition, Part 3

Gabe — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:42:56 +0000

It became clear last night that the target of our original installment of Historic Trash Talk, Junie Browning, is actually the king of the medium. Sure, the guy who said that he belonged in the times of Hitler is a legend in the field, but plenty of one hit wonders become legends only to fade into obscurity. Junie, on the other hand, is going to continue to spit threats like hot fire for as long as he is on the show, which according to the preview of next week’s episode may not be for long.

There was plenty of great trash talk from the young Browning last night as all the contestants entered the house for the first time and he proceeded to get wicked drunk. First he jovially asked some of the other men in the house to whip his back with rods, at which point he shouted “Call me Kunta Kinte!” Niiiiice. Then he proceeded to smash everything he could get his hands on, demand that everyone fight him immediately, and break down crying next to the pool. Perfect.

But the moment that we’ll focus on is just some classic trash talk. Old school. When the coach of the red team, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, joined his team at the McMansion for dinner, Junie, a member of Team Mir, told it like it is.

Historic Trash Talk: The Ultimate Fighter Edition, Part 1

Gabe — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:30:40 +0000

Spike TV’s reality show The Ultimate Fighter, which entered its eighth season last night, is admittedly not for everyone. For whatever reason, some people aren’t into devastating elbows and knees from the clinch. Not to mention mixed martial arts’ obsessive pandering to meatheads. All accompanied by a Slipknot soundtrack. Add to that mix the already repulsive tendencies of reality televison, and you’ve created a show with very limited appeal indeed. I understand that.

But if there’s one thing that almost everyone can get on board with, it’s incredible trash talk, and this show has that in abundance (if any UFC fans are reading this from a Google search and have not visited Videogum before, “abundance” means “lots”). Last night, the best came from Jose Aguilar in the run up to his fight against Junie Browning.

Let’s just say that it starts with “I belong with Napoleon, dawg, Alexander, dude, Hitler,” and goes from there.