Videogum » Jason Bourne

Jeremy Renner To Be The New Jason Bourne Maybe!

Gabe — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:30:01 +0000

We don’t usually report on behind-the-scenes casting news because it’s more like behind-the-scenes casting SNOOZE, am I right? It’s just hard to get excited about who is going to be playing some scientist in a movie that’s not coming out for three years, especially when half the time they don’t even end up playing that scientist at all because now they are playing a reclusive but inspiring professor. (Although, I have been enjoying watching the breathless casting updates for the movie adaptation of The Hunger Games because it’s just a ton of child actors I’ve never heard of. Haha. NEAT! It’s almost TOO exciting that Willow Shields ??? will be playing Prim Everdeen!) In general the whole prospect of behind-the-scenes casting news is like someone telling you that you may or may not get a sandwich in a year and a half, and you’re like, well, what’s on the sandwich, and they’re like maybe lettuce, and you’re like, OK, I like lettuce OK, what else? and they’re like, tomatoes are in serious talks to be on the sandwich with Quiznos as the sandwich artist, and you’re like oh great, tomatoes! But then they’re like, well, it looks like lettuce is out, but there is going to be cheese, and you’re like, hmm, I could go either way with cheese, and they are like, also tomatoes couldn’t do it because of scheduling conflicts so the role of tomatoes will now be played by oranges, and you’re like, well, oranges on a sandwich is problematic, and then you find out Tubby’s Submarines has taken over, which isn’t the end of the world but it isn’t exactly a vote of confidence, either, and also, you’re kind of hungry now and don’t feel like waiting TWO YEARS for this sandwich. All of that being said, The Hollywood Reporter is Hollywood reporting this morning that Dame Jeremy Renner of the Queen’s Realm is probably going to replace Matt Damon as Jason Bourne. That’s great! Dame Jeremy Renner is the best. I mean, Matt Damon is the best, but so that is why this might even work out. GET ME BOURNE! HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE BOOK! NOT IF I FIND YOU FIRST! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! ACTING!

Lego Sad Keanu

Gabe — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 15:00:59 +0000

ENHANCE…

The Ultimate Argument Settler: The Top 6 Fight Scenes Of The Past 6 Years

Gabe — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:19:31 +0000

As Lindsay pointed out in last week’s Friday Fight, I love any movie with fighting in it. This is mostly true. Movie fights are great, and it’s surprising how few good ones there are. Hollywood, more fights please. They make any movie better. Think of all the horrible movies that don’t have fights. Pay It Forward? No fights. That’s a current reference that makes sense to use. In Her Shoes? Not a single scissor kick. More like In Her Lame! Anyway, after the jump I have collected my six favorite fight scenes from the past six years. Obviously. This is a totally definitive list that I’ve used science to create, so don’t bother arguing with it, because that would be arguing against science. You know, the thing that KILLED GOD.

A Craisin In The Sun

Gabe — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:10:04 +0000

Maybe Diddy should stick to blogging.

I’m spending a lot of time on developing something really tailor-made for where I want to go, which is more of a modern action, almost a more realistic, black Bruce Willis/”Bourne Identity”/Quentin Tarantino. I want to do something where people take a ride with me. Like, if you were going to hang out with me for 48 hours, you have no idea what would happen.

(Reuters via Vulture)

Should someone tell him that there’s no such thing as a modern action almost a more realistic black Bruce Willis Bourne Identity Quentin Tarantino? And not because no one has the balls to go there but because WHAT? Then again, I’ve never hung out with him for 48 hours. I heard about this one guy who hung out with him, and granted it was only for 36 hours, but he described it as a real time but like concurrent black Tom Wilkinson Hudson Hawk Steven Soderbergh.

Is Dave Attell The Next CIA Super-Assassin?

Gabe — Mon, 12 May 2008 10:19:04 +0000

Breaking news on the Rehashed Nostalgia newsfront today. From the New York Daily News:

“The Gong Show” is returning to television.

The latest incarnation of the hit ’70s talent search will be hosted by comedian Dave Attell and air on Comedy Central beginning July 17. “The Gong Show With Dave Attell” will feature up to 10 acts that will be judged by a revolving panel of three celebrities.

Everything I know about The Gong Show comes from Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which was based off of host/creator Chuck Barris’s memoirs, although those memoirs are highly suspect. He claimed to have been a covert operative of the CIA. That sounds about right. If you’ve seen any of the Bourne movies, then you know that most spies also work in some form of on-air talent capacity.

So I was going through the YouTube archives of The Gong Show to see what was up.