Videogum » Health

This Is Just A GREAT Picture Of Arnold Schwarzenegger And Sylvester Stallone Undergoing Shoulder Surgery Together

Gabe — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:15:04 +0000

Schwarzenegger posted this photo of him and Sylvester Stallone in pre-op together waiting for their simultaneous shoulder surgeries along with the following caption:

After all the action, stunts & physical abuse shooting The Expendables 2 and The Last Stand, it was time for a little tune up on my shoulder. Look who was coincidentally waiting in line behind me for his shoulder surgery. Now we’re ready for another round of great times and action when we shoot The Tomb.

Hahahaha. Of course, dear. Shhhhhh. Just rest now. All we want is for you to come home. GET WELL SOON, BOYS! (Via BlameItOnTheVoices.)

Time To Get The Blood Pumping

Gabe — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:30:16 +0000

Come on body, move your parts, indeed. Happy Monday, team. Still alive? Heart still beating in your chest? Hopes and aspirations still coursing through your mind? Good. Then let’s pick up the pace. Knees high. (Via WreckAndSalvage.)

Paula Deen’s Publicist Quits

Gabe — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:00:03 +0000

At this point it is actually weird when people do the right thing. Must have found some leftover moral code at the bottom of mildewy box in the basement somewhere.

Paula Deen Has Type 2 Diabetes, Is An Asshole

Gabe — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:30:23 +0000

Although the news broke last week, Paula Deen appeared on the Today Show this morning with Al Roker to announce to the world that she has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Normally this story would make the cover of this month’s Duh Aficionado Magazine (order your back issue of “Dr. Atkins Dies of Heart Attack” here) and that would be that because OF COURSE Paula Deen has type 2 diabetes. Except it turns out that she has HAD IT FOR THREE YEARS and just didn’t bother telling anyone as she continued her high-speed ride on top of the Butter Bullet Train. Ugh. And it just so happens that her announcement has coincided quite nicely with her signing of a multi-million dollar sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company for a diabetes drug. OH COOL, THIS IS COOL. What a fucking asshole! Anthony Bourdain already said it best: “When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you’ve been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you’ve got type 2 diabetes… It’s in bad taste if nothing else.” Look, obviously our thoughts and prayers are with Paula Deen and her family during this ~~delicious~~ difficult time, but good grief. The worst part is how George W. Bush she is being about the whole thing. Like, OK, you’re a greedy (obviously, I mean, obviously, it is crazy how obvious it is that Paul Deen is greedy with EVERYTHING) jerk who does not care about anything other than getting as much of everything as you possibly can into your body and/or wallet. That’s fine. But then just do that. Drop the AW SHUCKS routine you FUCKING MONSTER. Look at this shit:

Gwyneth Paltrow Literally Selling Snake Oil Now

Gabe — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:15:06 +0000

The first GOOP of 2012 has arrived, and it is highlighting “the GOOP Cleanse.” Oh brother. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that I am against ALL cleanses, not just the GOOP cleanse. If you enjoy cleanses, God bless you. And I do support, genuinely and sincerely, anyone’s attempt, whatever that attempt may be and however misguided, to improve themselves and/or make themselves healthier, happier, what have you. But ever since I learned about cleanses, the same way everyone learns about them: in college from some girls with hippie tendencies–they have always seemed to me like they were more about having something to simultaneously brag and complain about than anything to seriously do with one’s health or well-being. Like, you’re going to show off that you’re taking care of yourself (already a specious argument when it comes to cleanses, but that’s the party line) while also complaining about how hungry you are? Cool. You’re fun to hang out with, let’s go to a nice restaurant together for sure. I’m also just skeptical of anyone who genuinely believes that drinking cayenne pepper smoothies or whatever is really clearing out the system. If you want to clear out your system, go to Duane Reade and buy an enema kit. Or, how about you just work on gradually making your entire lifestyle healthier and more considered rather than taking 10 days out of the year to dramatically disrupt your body’s natural processes? You think the cayenne pepper is helping with the cigarettes you are always bumming off of people at parties? Oh man, OK, I am sorry, I just hate cleanses in a way that is almost certainly way more dramatic than necessary. Good luck to everyone and I can’t wait to see how the world changes when we all live forever. First generation of immortals is always the trickiest.

But, so, considering my pre-existing hate of cleanses it is PERFECT that Gwyneth Paltrow has her own NAMEBRAND cleanse! Let’s talk about it:

Aziz Ansari And Chris Pratt Cancer PSA

Gabe — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:15:24 +0000

Cancer sucks. Hate it! These guys know what I’m talking about. Although, to be fair (to cancer?) Chris Pratt could make a PSA about the PHONE BOOK and I would watch it.

Congratulating The Dr. Drew’s Life Changers Live Studio Audience On Participating In Courtney Stodden’s Televised Breast Exam

Gabe — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:00:19 +0000

Yesterday, America’s Bride, Courtney Stodden, appeared on Dr. Drew’s new show (Prologue: Dr. Drew has a new show) called Dr. Drew’s Life Changers (what?) to FINALLY lay to rest the hot-button debate of whether or not she has breast implants. SCREEEEEEEEEECH! Sorry. Had to put the brakes on. Who asked for this? SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD! (As a follow up question I would like to know who let Dr. Drew out of GARBAGE JAIL?! Do we really want pieces of shit like that roaming our streets and getting new shows?) Anyway, a professionally trained ultrasound technician put a blanket over Courtney Stodden’s chest and proceeded to palpate her (or something) on giant studio monitors while Dr. Drew put on his Doctor Face and Courtney’s 510-year-old husband, Doug Hutchinson, bit his knuckles. Everyone takes it so seriously as if this is a real thing! I’m not sure if there are Academy Awards for fake health-based afternoon reality TV show broadcasts, but if so, I’d like to nominate Dr. Drew for The Worst.

The Free Flexor Is OUR Generation’s Shake Weight

Gabe — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:45:35 +0000

Looking good, boyz. Very healthy. Very strong. Very normal exercise.

Cheech And Chong’s Magic Brownie Adventure Movie

Gabe — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:30:08 +0000

This Cheech and Chong “movie trailer” is actually an ad for FiberOne. Clever girls. Clever 100 year old girls.

This Is Just A Good Description Of A Car Accident

Gabe — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:45:55 +0000

Car accidents can be super scary. (That is one of the observations I used in my application for Editor-in-Chief of Duh Aficionado magazine.) They happen so fast and unexpectedly. Or even worse you sometimes see them coming but there’s absolutely nothing that can be done about it. (It is this brief nanosecond of a moment between perception, realization, and the accident in which people often describe seeing their life flash before their eyes. I don’t know about all that, but it is true that time seems kind of elastic and what couldn’t be more than 0.000001 seconds feels like almost 1 or even 2 whole seconds!) Have you ever been in one? It’s awful. But I think one of the worst things about car accidents, besides the fact that they’re scary and a lot of people die in them, so OK besides that, but after those horrible parts about car accidents the other worst thing is definitely that people who have survived them do not use enough SOUND EFFECTS and FUNNY FACES in their descriptions of what happened. UNTIL NOW: