It’s like a blowhard conservative pundit’s bar mitzvah up in here. NOW BABY GLEN BECK IS A MAN-BABY! Look, I’m not even sure what either of them was saying about health care. It sounded like “blah blah blah France” and “OH YEAH? SCREAM BLAH BLAH SCREAM” to me. The system is broken, but the complications in fixing it are certainly beyond me (and certainly WAY beyond Glenn Beck. Like, I obviously can’t overhaul the health care system to make it more equitable, efficient, and comprehensive for all Americans, but I think that if it came down to the two of us, I might squeak the job out from under Glenn Beck. I am proficient at Microsoft Office ’98!). But I’m pretty sure you cede the high ground every time you squeal like a petulant monster AFTER spending three minutes cooing like a condescending creep. And leave it to a Lil’ Bill O’Reilly in training to turn the whole thing into a plug for his book. As evidence that he was right and just won the argument that you bullied yourself on top of? Because his unpublished book is the world’s premiere resource for facts on the very argument he just cut someone off from having with his goon tactics? What a fucking jerk.

But also, let’s be real honest for a second, how happy is Tom Scharpling over at the Best Show on WFMU that he changed “get off my phone” to “heave-ho” a few months ago? Phewf! That was a close one. (Thanks for the tip, Colin and David.)