“We are so thrilled to welcome James back to General Hospital,” Executive Producer Jill Farren Phelps said in a statement. “We had such a great time with him and are very excited that he decided to return to Port Charles to take care of unfinished business.”

“Working on General Hospital was a great experience,” James said in a statement “I love the cast, writers, directors and producers. They have become a new family for me. I can’t wait for the work we will do this summer.”

Sure. But so he’s just an actual soap opera star now. You can call your guest role on a soap opera “performance art” the FIRST TIME you have a guest role on a soap opera. When your character returns to that soap opera, though, that’s just what you do. Make soap operas. With your “new family,” apparently. Incidentally, that’s great, and sounds like fun, and we should all be so lucky as to find a soap opera in this world to have a semi-regular cameo on. I’m just saying: NO MORE LIES. When it comes to the true meaning behind young peripatetic film-student-heartthrob-actors roles on daytime television, Americans demand HONESTY.

Some day it has been so far! You don’t even know the half of it. Literally. If someone were to cut this day in half and introduce you, you’d be like “nice to meet you, stranger.” Huh? Whatever. Anyway, I need a few minutes to e-get my iBearings. So in the meantime, enjoy Madonna’s appearance on last night’s Letterman. It’s pretty funny as far as these things go. Old Godz going mano e madonno. Also, James Franco (Annapolis, ‘Eat, Pray, Love‘) is going to be on General Hospital? What’s that all about? Jeremy Piven, the noted sushi liar, is eating fish again? And Padma Lakshmi is magically pregnant? Looks like today ate a clown for breakfast. BRB.