Videogum » Fred

Eww, Is The Internet The Future Of Television?

Gabe — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:30:16 +0000

The New Yorker has a pretty interesting article this week about the history and future of YouTube. In summation, it talks about how millions of people all over the world watch incredible numbers of videos (here is a crazy fact: “Forty-eight hours of new video are uploaded to the site every minute”) but they haven’t managed to translate that into the same kind of media and revenue powerhouse of old media. Yet. Over the course of the next year, YouTube is going to be launching all these channels that will more closely resemble the TV model except that they will be programmed specifically for the Internet in the hopes that people will stay on YouTube for longer, which will thus make YouTube more promising to advertisers. So? Is this it? Is this the future?

One thing the article talks about is a transition from the “model of scarcity versus the model of abundance.” The idea is that television (and just Hollywood in general) is structured in limitation. They control the means of production and distribution, so we get what they give us, whereas the novelty of the Internet is that it is based on putting incredible amounts of content out into the world and allowing users to select what they want to watch/consume. One of the Hollywood people they talk to says this is a better model than relying on an executive’s gut feeling and the tremendous resources of time, energy, talent, and money that go into developing a movie or TV show with little to no regard for the demands of the market. Another Hollywood person presents the opposing view: “I can tell you what YouTube is not going to do—generate shows like ‘Friends,’ ‘24,’ and ‘C.S.I.’ The world of TV I grew up with, where hit shows threw off hundreds of millions for the creators and networks—that’s not going to happen.” Well, OK, so which is it? Is it a better system or a worse system? (This is, of course, operating on the assumption that we all agree that Friends, 24, and CSI are “good.”)

The whole thing actually reminds me of a drunken argument I had at a wedding last fall.

They Are Making A 3D “Fred” Movie, FINALLY

Gabe — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 14:30:58 +0000

If there is one thing Hollywood is constantly striving to do, it is GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. (The other thing they are constantly striving to do is put out the highest quality product they possibly can, that offers both artistic and intellectual satisfaction.) Today is no different. Hollywood moves bravely forward! From the HollywoodReporter:

Lucas Cruikshank, the teen actor who turned his alter-ego character Fred Figglehorn into a YouTube hit and a TV movie for Nickelodeon, will star in a 3D movie for Lionsgate.

John Fortenberry (“Blue Mountain State”) is directing “Night of the Living Fred.” David A. Goodman (“Family Guy”) wrote the script. Production is now under way in Los Angeles.

Perfect. You know, it sounded like I was kidding up top when I said that Hollywood was always working hard to give people what they want, but that’s actually true. That is the problem. THIS IS KIND OF WHAT PEOPLE WANT. Oh, people. You should want better stuff! I’m worried about you, people! (Also, if you don’t know what “Fred” is, congratulations. And my apologies.)

Fred: The Movie Trailer, You Guys

Gabe — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 21:00:37 +0000

One day, people who like Fred are going to be in charge of the world and they’re going to ruin it. Just kidding. THERE WILL BE NO WORLD FOR THEM TO RUIN. Phew, that was a close one!

Dear 2012

Gabe — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 20:45:14 +0000

Hi! Sarah Palin sold her reality show. And Nickelodeon has agreed to broadcast the Fred movie. Just giving you an update on what’s going on with us. Can’t wait for you to get here!

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Adults Do Not Ever Find Fred Funny

Gabe — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:13:31 +0000

Fred is getting his own movie? Fred is getting his own movie. If you don’t know who Fred is, then you are probably almost as old as I am (I am 109 years old), but the kids love him and they want to abandon the archaic tradition of marriage with him. More about Fred here (and here). The news that Fred was getting a movie first surfaced in July, but today the New York Times has a whole article about it. It sounds great! (It doesn’t sound great.):

“Fred: The Movie” follows the character as he tries to track down Judy. Along the way he digs a hole from his backyard to hers, fantasizes about an invisibility suit, gets lost in some woods, becomes buried in sand and, when he finally does find Judy, vomits on her.

It’s weird that they don’t let more 16-year-olds playing 6-year-olds write their own movies! “There is a Candy Wizard but he is tired, and then one day a pony gives a kiss.” Gives who a kiss? Shut up, what do you know about entertainment, OLD MAN?! Anyway, I’m not the intended audience for this, and that’s fine. I’m not the intended audience for a lot of (most) things! I’ll still drive you and your brother to the mall, but we are listening to NPR on the way, because Brokencyde just sounds like noise to me. But I don’t like how the makers of Fred: The Movie are pretending like someday I will be the audience for this:

Fred Is Going To Be In A Fucking Movie

Gabe — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:23:44 +0000

It’s called Emo Boy, because apparently The Worst was already taken. Boo!

Oh, Here’s That Borderline-Racist Fred Parody No One Asked For

Gabe — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:07:36 +0000

Sure, Fred is basically the worst (and when he is inevitably elected President of the United States, he will be the Commander in Worst). But at least Fred was an original. He blazed new trails of awful. These Fred parodists are not bringing much to the table. Now there is a new one, a guy named Namskie, who plays a character named Fu, who does impressions of people. Or something. The guy’s YouTube profile is Transformers 2-caliber complicated. In addition to characters, he does a lot of song parodies, like “Kiss Me Through MySpace,” and “I Bow Like a Chino” (which may actually be an original. I have no idea what is going on here). He also played a hilarious April Fool’s Prank in which he was “gay.” Perfect. MAD TV just called and they said if they ever get back on the air, this kid is definitely on the short list for the permanent cast.

In this video he does a borderline-racist Fred parody.

Old Fred Still Annoying After All These Years

Gabe — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 10:35:09 +0000

Tipster Chris sent in this video with a note.

“This guy is spot-on as Fred from Youtube. So does that make him the best or the worst? I am confused by the rules.”

No problem, Chris. I’m happy to help. It makes him the worst.

I mean, he did a good job of taking something completely unbearable and making a similarly unbearable parody of it. Congratulations? In any case, no big deal. Because at first I was worried that this was a really sad guy and we don’t make fun of really sad guys, but he’s not! His name is Greg Benson and he’s got his own website, and he’s been in tons of nationally broadcast weed-killer commercials and everything, so he’s doing fine. Acting!

Although, this video could have obviously been more accurate since we all know that in 40 years Fred will be President of the United States AND the CEO of Brawndo Inc.

Just Putting Some Things In Perspective

Gabe — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:07:45 +0000

I just want to put some things in perspective really quickly, because the world seems extremely volatile and unpredictable lately, which can make for a lot of fear. Now I’m not an economist (surprise!), and I don’t have any foreign policy experience. I have no valuable suggestions TOWARDS solutions to the world’s current crises, much less actual solutions. But I think that the following statistic is somewhat useful in gauging the actual state of affairs.

The Only Thing Fred’s Advertising Is Eugenics

Gabe — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:15:53 +0000

So, there’s a new Fred video on YouTube today, and it’s already gotten 380,000 views. I continue to not get it. But this new video sheds some revealing light on Fred’s own motivations for making these insufferable videos. The opening shot features Fred complaining that “Judy” (an imaginary character who it is important to point out despite being imaginary ALSO can’t tolerate him) hasn’t texted him all day, and he holds up some sort of My First Blackberry to show that she’s non-responsive. Fair enough. Except that in the description of the video, Fred advises people to check out his new website, and it’s an advertisement for the weird Blackberry thing, which it turns out is called a ZipIt? And the ad stars Fred? He is their spokesperson? I hope they paid him in punches to the face.

Whoops, that’s your brand image.

I think there are definitely a few things that I would totally buy after watching a Fred video, like noise-canceling headphones, or an industrial grade eye-shower, or a gun with one bullet in it.