Videogum » Domino’s Pizza

Domino’s Pizza iPad App Looks Fun, Delicious, And Insulting

Gabe — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:45:48 +0000

On the one hand, this game looks great. It’s got everything. Pizza. Puzzles. Bonus points. Manager reviews? And it’s not without precedent. I remember quite clearly that when I was a child in the late 1930s, Toys R Us sold a rubber disk that was supposed to be a make believe pizza dough that you could toss up into the air just like a real Papa John. So, this is basically just human nature, these pizza games. But also there IS something weird about a game that simulates a grueling, dehumanizing, Henry Ford-influenced assembly line minimum wage job. Right? That’s weird? We can all agree that it’s weird to try and beat the clock on the iPad while simultaneously watching the clock for your actual pizza to be made and getting so mad that it isn’t made already. And, like, how many hours would you have to work at a Domino’s making pizzas to earn enough money to buy an iPad? A million? A million hours before taxes? It’s literally one well known company logo away from an iPad app called Migrant Farmworker where you have to pick all the apples from the tree before INS comes over and asks to see your residency papers. I’m pretty sure this iPad app was the focus of the entire second volume of Karl Marx’s Das Kapital. “The worker is alienated from the product of his labor when it is turned into an iPad app for the exploiting class.” DOWNLOAD IT FROM ITUNES. (Via LaughingSquid.)

Here’s How Those Gross Domino’s Pasta Bread Bowls Are Made

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:32:56 +0000

I was going to say I can’t believe this is what passes for “news” in Lexington, KY, but then I remembered the Today Show exists and covers the entire country. If you’ve been stumped as to how Domino’s Pizza makes its newest “creative” ~~menu item~~ carb-on-carb crime, the edible bread pasta bowl, the folks at Channel 36 news went in depth to discover the secret, and no doubt now have some kind of lifetime supply of Domino’s for their office:

Pizza Ghraib, Basically

Gabe — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:06:41 +0000

Anyone who has worked in the service industry knows that it’s a frustrating and powerless life. Doing dull, unrewarding work for little pay while simultaneously having to put up with the careless and unrealistic demands of over-entitled customers is a thankless way to spend one’s days. The result, of course, is the unfortunate impotent-employ-retaliation, manifested in the rare but occasional employee-bath-in-the-sink or Waiting-screenplay incident.

Meet Kristy and Michael. They are two Domino’s employees who have made an ENTIRE SERIES of videos of themselves fucking with customers’ food. The example posted after the jump is particularly painful to watch because it’s not actually in angry retaliation to a customer ignoring Kristy and Michael’s basic humanity with his/her adenoidal complaints. It’s just straight up being gross for no good reason. It’s like, you know how in Event Horizon all of those astronauts are doomed to an eternity of suffering in hell not because of any personal moral failings but just because they happened to take a job on the ship with the experimental gravity drive that opened a portal to hell? And how that kind of fucked up your whole young adult understanding of how the after-life and morality even worked if that was a possible outcome, just being in the wrong place at the wrong time? This is like that, but with CinnaStix.

Gotham Needs A Better Class Of Pizza, And Domino’s Isn’t Going To Give It To Them

Gabe — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:37:44 +0000

You guys, I seriously can’t deal with the Domino’s Pizza Dark Knight movie tie-in. Whether it’s the part where they describe the pizza as “cloaked” in pepperoni, or the part where it comes in a black box with a utility belt printed on the back that you’re supposed to cut out? And stick to your clothes with bits of cheese and sauce? And then last night I saw this ad on television:

Um, that pizza delivery girl was thisclose to being raped and stabbed to death in Gotham’s notorious Rape Stab District. Although apparently, if you can avoid getting raped and stabbed by the Joker’s minions long enough to make it to his secret hideout, then he will stop trying to murder you and pay you the money for the pizza promptly? That’s what he’s all about, just testing people’s survival skills and then paying them for their services. And who is she to think that she can negotiate with the Joker, who I’ve been led to believe by 60 YEARS OF COMIC BOOKS is a homicidal maniac, and who just tried to murder her, for a new car? And why is she so nonchalant about what just happened? Domino’s really needs to provide its workers with some kind of on-the-job training or subsidized therapy to address the issue of being so blasé about their lives and vaginal safety.

Batman Likes His Revenge Cold And His Pizza Terrible

Gabe — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 08:54:54 +0000

I saw a window poster for this last night and actually laughed out loud, by myself, on the street. I can’t find a picture of that poster, but here’s a picture of what that poster was advertising (via flickr):

After a long night of fighting homicidal maniacs using his military-grade weaponry, Batman likes nothing more than to retire to his secret underground fortress to stew with his tortured thoughts over a terrible franchise pizza with extra pepperoni on it. “I’m sorry, but can the pizza come CLOAKED in pepperoni? It’s kind of an inside joke I have with myself, because I’m the worst.” Ooh, this is deliciously mysterio–[grappling gunshot].

When the moody trailers for this dark reimagining of a borderline anti-hero starring a recently deceased actor in the role of a deeply disturbed sociopath started playing last year I thought to myself “This definitely makes me want to buy something disgusting, I just don’t know what yet.” You finally nailed it, Domino’s. I’m just surprised you don’t have a Gotham Oreo Desert Pizza with a box that says “Riddle Me This: Is There Anything Worse?”