Yes, that is a CGI Bruce Willis face that is creeping you out. And YES, that is Bruce Willis singing the very bluesy intro. In the cartoon, which seems to be a frustrated reaction to the success of Life with Louie, Willis was the voice of Bruno, an 11-year-old boy, who is recruited by the top secret espionage organization, The Globe, who don’t know he’s 11 because he only talks to them via computer and uses the CGI Bruce Willis face to disguise himself as a lecherous 40 year old with a penchant for fedoras. No. This would all be bad enough if it was just some mis-managed attempt at creating a child’s entertainment, but Bruno is actually Bruce Willis’s artistic alter-ego. This cartoon was some kind of Bruce Willis wish-fulfillment being played out in the realm of children. And that is disgusting.

I have done extensive research and as far as I’m able to tell there has never been a public apology from either Mr. Willis or the President of Entertainment. America waits.