Videogum » Dance-Offs

The Only Cure For The Internet Blues: Power Ranger$ Jerkin’ In JerkVille

Gabe — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:30:12 +0000

Yes, this video has 10 million views. Yes, it’s two years old. Yes, WE’VE ALREADY POSTED IT. It’s also the best thing you’ll see on the Internet this whole fucking boring dead month. POWER RANGER$$$$$$!

Kids Krumping Is The Best Thing Around

Gabe — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 14:15:59 +0000

Please write this down: when I die, I would like my funeral to be a joyous celebration* of life for all of my loved ones, with plenty of good food and loud music, and I would like these krumping children to dance as a reminder that there is still beauty in this world and that it resides in our children. “But Gabe, do you think it’s a little bit weird to ask strange children that you’ve never even met to come dance at a dead man’s funeral? Not only weird for your friends and family, who would want to respect your wishes but might find those wishes at odds with their own idea of how to pay their respects to your passing, but particularly weird for the children, who might not yet have the emotional development to process such an event, much less their unusual role in it?” YOU WOULD DARE TO ARGUE WITH A DYING MAN’S LAST WISHES?! Alright, add this to the list: anyone who defies this final request will ALSO have to krump at my funeral. Oh, don’t know how to krump? Well then my funeral is going to be very humiliating for you, and maybe you should have kept your goddamned mouth shut until my will had been notarized. I rest all of my cases in pieces. (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

*This is not actually true. I want my funeral to be a miserable sea of tears because everyone is so sad because the worst thing that could ever happen has: I have died.

The Footloose Remake Trailer, You Guys

Gabe — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 16:30:34 +0000

For awhile, it looked like Chace Crawford might star in the Footloose remake, but then that fell apart, I guess. This was after Zac Efron already backed out. At this point, you might think they just wouldn’t bother remaking Footloose, since they probably shouldn’t have been remaking Footloose in the first place, because who asked anyone to remake Footloose, but you would be so wrong it’s ridiculous how wrong you would be. Oh, they went ahead alright. First of all, they got Kenny Wormald. That’s right, KENNY WORMALD! Who’s laughing now? Stop laughing and tell me who Kenny Wormald is. Second of all, they released a trailer, and oh man. If you thought a remake of Footloose was silly, poorly thought out, and completely unnecessary, you were right, but, like, in a way that is so intense that it might scare you. Like, Nicholas Cage in Knowing right. (I have not seen Knowing, but it’s about how Nicolas Cage is almost TOO right, right? Right.) Wait until you see it. You’re gonna die. Wait. Well, don’t wait too long!! Watch here:

New Videogum Promise: Kathie Lee Gifford Dancing Animated GIFs

Gabe — Wed, 04 May 2011 15:30:00 +0000

So, I’ve been watching a lot more of the fourth hour of the Today Show lately. Whatever. Only God can judge me. Also, everyone should be doing this. The fourth hour of the Today Show with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford is the closest thing America has to TRUE ART. These old bats are hilarious. One thing I’ve been noticing though as a regular viewer is that Kathie Lee ~~constantly overrides anything that anyone else is saying or doing with her bottomless abyss of self-obsession~~ dances. Kind of a lot? Which raises the question: how are there not more Kathie Lee Gifford animated GIFS all over the Internet? She is giving us a gift. It is time for us to appreciate it.

Above is a GIF of Kathie Lee dancing this morning, although my favorite one is after the jump:

The Wednesday Dance

Gabe — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:30:07 +0000

Good song. Great dance. Now let’s get out there and make sure this day lives up to the almost-impossibly high standards these men have set for it. ROLL ON THE GROUND! Make it count. (Thanks for the tip, Leigh.)

Chris Brown Attempts To Dance His Way Out Of Nightmare Town

Gabe — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 13:30:40 +0000

On last night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars, Chris Brown performed a couple of songs and danced his heart or whatever dark thing beats in that evil chest out. Sure. The truth be told, if there is one thing that Chris Brown can do BESIDES beat his girlfriend in the face in a rented Lamborghini (lol) before running off into the night and leaving her for dead, it’s dance. But Dancing with the Stars is also the most wholesome show on television, basically, and showbiz’s attempt to show families that it can produce entertainment without relying on sex and violence. And Chris Brown’s performance opens with a child who shouts “Hey, there’s Chris Brown,” and then starts dancing. Oof. It is one thing for the industry to try and clean up Chris Brown’s tarnished (with blood and bits of hair) image because he makes people a lot of money and that is what people who are getting a lot of money do and it’s one of the reasons they have so much of it (money). But do we really need to get ACTUAL children involved in defending the honor of a known domestic abuser? What a disgustingly manipulative ploy that should not work but probably will! (Here’s another thing I was thinking about with this whole Chris Brown thing: his defenders have this tendency to argue that, like, it was terrible what happened and Chris Brown has paid his dues and he hasn’t beaten anyone in the fucking face since then and everyone makes mistakes and so that’s that, which I understand where that thinking is coming from, but the one thing that it doesn’t take into account is the fact that the time when he was forced to turn himself into the police because everyone in the world knew what he had done was DEFINITELY NOT the first time he’d been abusive by any means. That’s not how it works? That’s like arguing that someone who got pulled over for drunk driving only did it that one time by accident and never did it before and would never do it again. Right.)

Watch Chris Brown’s performance on Dancing with the Stars after the jump:

How To Dance To Dubstep, By Bill Cosby

Gabe — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 17:00:31 +0000

Now you know how to dance to dub step, Rudy. (Via Vulture.)

The Super Bowl Of Dance-Offs

Gabe — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 17:00:55 +0000

These guys really leave it all on the field.

Congratulations to all of our competitors. (Thanks for the tip, Chuck and werttrew.)

Dancing Alone To “Pony” Supercut

Gabe — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 20:30:20 +0000

You know how the New Yorker sells hard drives that contain every issue of the magazine ever published? This is like that but for the website “Dancing Alone to ‘Pony’”:

When we finally succeed in burning the Internet to the ground and it is no more, we will leave up only this video as a reminder of what it was. (Via TheHighDefinite.)

We Are All Doing It Wrong

Gabe — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 18:00:38 +0000

What are you doing today? Are you going to work at your job? Are you going to class at your school? Maybe you are running errands or visiting a loved one in the hospital or donating your time to an important charity. Perhaps you are going to the movies, or to a museum, or on a cruise, or to the library. Or you could be reading a book, or writing a book, or exercising, or playing professional sports, or learning how to drive a car. Whatever you are doing, you’re wasting your time. We all are. We’re out here busying ourselves about this day and none of it matters, because none of us are demonstrating superior pop and lock skills and uploading those videos to the Internet. Except this guy. 7 billion people on Earth and only one of us knows what to do about it.