Videogum » Christian

Pat Robertson Dishes Luv Advice To The Ladies

Lindsay Robertson — Fri, 08 May 2009 15:31:51 +0000

A completely reasonable and sane-sounding Christian woman named Roni wrote to Pat Robertson this week with a question about how to find middle ground with her atheist fiance, and Pat Robertson delivers the bad news while somehow managing to imply that she’s also a slut:

That’s a dealbreaker, ladies! What did “Roni” expect? (There is no Roni.) This is basically Pat Robertson’s version of Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers’s “Really? segment on Weekend Update. At the end he goes “What? Alriiight” like “Can we have a fucking real question, here?” (And also a little like “What were we talking about? I have dementia.”)

Treasure Blind: “God Gave Me 20/20 Fingers”

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:15:08 +0000

Treasure Blind appears to be a movie about a schlubby, silent man who finds a treasure map in braille to the tune of a musak version of the “~~Steak~~ Beef: It’s What’s For Dinner” commercial. Then a little blond blind boy shows up on his doorstep. Then suddenly, the little boy and the schlubby silent man are driving around together unsupervised by the boy’s parents, Mr. Wizard-style. And then the boy says “God gave me 20/20 fingers.”

The Almighty Cleanse: The Grossest Christian Infomercial Ever

Lindsay Robertson — Tue, 05 May 2009 11:10:31 +0000

WARNING: These highlights from an interview/infomercial on Christian TV starring a “Christian Health Evangelist” and kind of Music Man of holy colon cleansing are totally disgusting. But since these aired on Christian TV, and are amazing and hilarious and totally weird and gross, they belong here. They used to use sex to sell everything. Now they’re using God to sell everything. Remember: Jesus wants you to re-educate your colon!

Christian Ska Band Sings “Jesus Is My Friend”

Lindsay Robertson — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:52:23 +0000

This is a ’70s Christian ska band called “Sonseed,” singing a song called “Jesus Is My Friend” to that shag-danceable ska music. From the costumes to the singer to the lyrics in which Jesus is apparently stalking him, why it wasn’t the very first thing anyone ever put up on the internet is a mystery. It’s amazing:

Once I tried to run
I tried to run and hide
But Jesus came and found me
And touched me down inside

There’s also a mention of Mounties, so it might even be Canadian! This must be seen to be believed:

Prank 3:16: Finally, A Christian Version Of Punk’d!

Lindsay Robertson — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:40:36 +0000

Prank 3:16 is a Christian improv group, which is doubly “ugh” because most Christian versions of normal culture are bad (I have a lot of experience to back this up) and most improv groups are bad (which is the only reason I’m going to watch the new Real World tonight – I wanna see the bad improv group MTV made them start!)

In this video (which was included in an article on Radar, about Daniel Radosh’s excellent new book Rapture Ready: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture), Prank 3:16 convinces a fan of the Left Behind series of rapture-based novels (and films starring Kirk Cameron) that the rapture has come, and that she’s been left behind: