Videogum » Carly Fiorina

Forget It, Jake, It’s Laser-Eyed Demon-Sheep Town

Gabe — Mon, 10 May 2010 18:15:55 +0000

After Carly Fiornia accused her opponent of being a laser-eyed demon-sheep, the democrats have responded back by accusing Carly Fiorina of being…a laser-eyed demon-sheep? No wonder the voters of California are frustrated! They are tired of having to choose between the lesser of two evil laser-eyed demon-sheep!

Can Someone Please Make Sure That Carly Fiorina Is OK?

Gabe — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:20:15 +0000

I am not a politician, but I feel like I have a basic understanding (see: child’s understanding) of how politics work. I know that you are constantly compromising between your ideals and the pragmatic realities of what can be accomplished, and that it is only every once in a long while if ever that you are able to bring those two things together. I recognize that we live in a complicated world with no definitive answers in which millions of people have their own wants and needs, not to mention ideas about how the world should work, and that it’s impossible to appeal to all of those people and address all those needs much less create a unifying theory of governance that will satisfy everyone. And I also understand that politics is often as much about image and branding as it is about genuine philosophy or even accomplishment. Whoever reduces their message to the most simplistic and easily digested soundbite will often win in a head-to-head race with someone who spends time working through their platform as if it was a complex structure of ideas. It might be frustrating, but that is the state of modern politics, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon. I get all that!

But, so, where do the giant evil inflatable CGI blimp face heads come in?

Open Your Lazer Eyes, Sheeple

Gabe — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:01:32 +0000

This is just a very solid political ad. It really gets to the issues Californians are facing in the next election, especially around 2:26:

You have been putting that sheep up on the CGI dildo pedestal for too long, California! But now the hilarious lightning has knocked him back down to Earth. Because maybe he is not a sheep after all (sheep are the best?) maybe he is in fact a fumbling human being wearing a terrifying “sheep” costume that his mom made for him! Maybe he has Christmas lights for eyes, and he likes to pretend to drink from a stream but he is not really drinking from a stream, he is actually just waiting behind a tree for his chance to…EAT CALIFORNIA?! OR SOMETHING I’M NOT SURE HOW THIS METAPHOR WORKS?!

Obviously, there are a lot of great things about this campaign ad, but my favorite part is the very end, after all of the Nightmare Man Sheep stuff, when the ad is just like “maybe California needs someone else? Could be anyone! There is no way to know who we are talking about. Are they behind this door? Who is that man talking to? The point is, it would be great if there was someone super good to elect.” What a sharp political ad. Almost makes you wish that you were living in California right now, just so you could vote against BOTH of these bozos. (Thanks for the tip, @lindsayism and Maura.)