Videogum » Butter

Paula Deen’s Publicist Quits

Gabe — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:00:03 +0000

At this point it is actually weird when people do the right thing. Must have found some leftover moral code at the bottom of mildewy box in the basement somewhere.

Paula Deen Has Type 2 Diabetes, Is An Asshole

Gabe — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:30:23 +0000

Although the news broke last week, Paula Deen appeared on the Today Show this morning with Al Roker to announce to the world that she has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Normally this story would make the cover of this month’s Duh Aficionado Magazine (order your back issue of “Dr. Atkins Dies of Heart Attack” here) and that would be that because OF COURSE Paula Deen has type 2 diabetes. Except it turns out that she has HAD IT FOR THREE YEARS and just didn’t bother telling anyone as she continued her high-speed ride on top of the Butter Bullet Train. Ugh. And it just so happens that her announcement has coincided quite nicely with her signing of a multi-million dollar sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company for a diabetes drug. OH COOL, THIS IS COOL. What a fucking asshole! Anthony Bourdain already said it best: “When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you’ve been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you’ve got type 2 diabetes… It’s in bad taste if nothing else.” Look, obviously our thoughts and prayers are with Paula Deen and her family during this ~~delicious~~ difficult time, but good grief. The worst part is how George W. Bush she is being about the whole thing. Like, OK, you’re a greedy (obviously, I mean, obviously, it is crazy how obvious it is that Paul Deen is greedy with EVERYTHING) jerk who does not care about anything other than getting as much of everything as you possibly can into your body and/or wallet. That’s fine. But then just do that. Drop the AW SHUCKS routine you FUCKING MONSTER. Look at this shit:

A Butter Message To The USA!

Gabe — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:30:01 +0000

Norway is facing a “severe” butter shortage, and right when they need butter most for their Christmas treats! One young man has had enough, and is sick and tired of American comedians making fun of this serious problem, and would like to deliver an important butter message to the USA:

Powerful stuff. Imagine if he came into your house and ate all of your butter right in front of your eyes! Before you had time to make even one pussycat cake! (Is that what caused the butter crisis in Norway? Someone breaking into homes and forcing people to watch him eat their butter? What a weird nightmare!) This is a real wake-up call. I bet American comedians are going to think twice and a lot of them are probably not even going to perform their Norwegian Butter Crisis material anymore. They’ll just go back to talking about less controversial things that we all know about, like sweet potatoes and sour cream. (Via BWE.)

Kids Dance For Deep Fried Butter The Darndest Things

Gabe — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:50:10 +0000

I’m not sure that the personal and public health ramifications of deep frying butter under any circumstances (county fair or no) are worth the injurious risk to both this little boy and the world at large in return for this magical dance. Somehow it seems an uneven and dangerous trade. And yet, the magical dance is here now, and we have nothing to do but to enjoy it. MAGIC DANCE MAGIC DANCE! MAGIC DANCE FOR YOUR BUTTER TREAT! (Via TheAwl.)