Hey Zach, you wanna make sure that the judges won't accept Magic Pand, though? Like, I get it that there's a "right" answer but I'm pretty sure AT LEAST, like, if not Magic Pand, that AT LEAST Magic…   Read Story »

I know that studio lights are bright and the pressure is enormous, but if you're ever going to say the words "pussy furry" together out loud, please at least say them like you mean it. (Also, way to…   Read Story »

You could upload a photo and turn yourself into a Na'vi from Avatar, or you could just check out this very NSFW "Na'vi porn" website. Either way, you're bound to feel a little sad.   Read Story »

I find it almost impossible to believe that three whole days after Self-Potato exploded into our lives, changing us as HUMAN BEINGS, in the year 2010, that there is still no ironic t-shirt…   Read Story »

There is a lot of talk these days about print media dying and newspapers becoming ancient artifacts, which as a rule makes me kind of sad, because as a 79-year-old man I fear two things: change and…   Read Story »

I honestly have not laughed this hard in a very long time. "Self-potato?" I want to get that tattooed on my eyelids so that I can remind myself that there is joy in this world every time I close…   Read Story »