Okay. Thank you, Katherine, whatever you are!
One of my favorite mementos of anyone’s childhood is anything the now-adult wrote when he or she was under the age of thirteen. As far as I can tell, nearly all children are Tavi Gevinsons now, so I’m sure it won’t be as fun for them when they are adults (“Ugh, here’s a thinkpiece I wrote on the negative affect Twitter has on a writer’s creative process when I was, like, 10 years old, yuck, so embarrassing.”), but when we were kids were were all STRAIGHT UP DUMB-DUMB WEIRDOS! When I was home recently I found a play I wrote in either fourth or fifth grade in which a friend attempts to murder a ghost by shooting it, but to make sure the ghost doesn’t run away the friend tells another friend to stand behind it. And then the friend dies? And becomes another ghost. Hahahah. I know that makes me sound like a sociopath, but do remember that it was 100 years ago, it was played for comedy, and you don’t know me so maybe I am a sociopath. LONG STORY SHORT, children are insane, and their writing is the best. Case in point: this eight-year-old’s Friends spec script.
Are you guys watching Broad City? You should be watching Broad City! I hesitate to compare it to Girls, because although on the outside they are composed of similar parts, they are very different, but I do want to say: If you watch Girls on Sunday and Broad City when it airs all the way on Wednesday, you hardly even feel like you’re spending your whole life watching shows about weird young women living in New York City! Dooo ittt! Speaking of Girls, Hannah’s editor is dead, she doesn’t feel anything, she is worried about her eBook, and people think she is crazy. One thing episodes like this do that is unforgivable is invariably lead to so many eEssays about how, actually, people relate to Hannah, and here is their story. Uh, duh-doy. Having to process emotions and sometimes not feeling the way that others expect you to feel, at least at first, is something that, I’m sure, nearly everyone experiences. WE DON’T NEED YOUR DUMB-DUMB STORY ABOUT IT! BE QUIET! Also, unless your story includes retelling a fake story to your boyfriend in an effort to make you seem as though you have emotions — which you had in spades early on, but seem to have trouble with now? — you are not like Hannah, because she is a lunatic. (Also possible: What she said ahead of the story was true, and the story was a way for her to get to the emotion that she was feeling without having to process it fully and feel it directly. Still, though, be quiet with your story.) Wasn’t it odd how the plots of Community and Parks and Recreation were so similar last night? Speaking of emotions: Abed has them, and Brie Larson is back! Hello, Brie Larson! You’re great! I laughed a lot when the Fat Dog dance was found out to be a Bear Down dance. Parks and Recreation was sad and sweet. It was slightly confusing that Leslie said her “ain’t no party like a Leslie Knope party” line, as it didn’t exactly feel like a nod to the 30 Rock line, but I suppose we have to assume that it was. Bob’s Burgers was perfect. Kroll Show was good but still, for me, has not yet reached the perfection of the season’s first episode. WHAT DID YOU THINK?
I don’t know a lot about cats, but I figured cold and wet would be a slam dunk. (Via TastefullyOffensive.)
For a sports fan, there is truly nothing like letting the experts battle it out on the green while you sit at home with a cool cocktail in your hand, enjoying their skill. Of course, relaxation and fun go hand in hand! So it stands to reason that The Super Bowl, during which two sets of star athletes test their televised physical prowess, would be one of a fan’s most successful cocktail (and snack!) days. Ha-ha, we have to admit, truly a day when we would rather NOT strap on a pair of softies and get our own sneakies in the mud. To be sure, though, our sporting energy must go somewhere — perhaps we can get our hands on an at-home playtool and toss it to like-minded acquaintances, or, better yet, we can transfer our energy into our cocktails! I’ve compiled a few expert recipes below to ensure that, even if your favorite athlete doesn’t perform his or her best, your party will make a classic two-point score!
A neat thing, once you go back and look at it again, is figuring out that the selfie was always used to show the characters’ reality and duality. (Image via BuzzFeed.)
- New Game of Thrones season four photos, you guys. [Spoiler: Everyone still looks beautiful and I still would like to have the hair and face of Emilia Clarke.] -HBO
- Lori Petty is joining the cast of Orange Is the New Black! What a treat! -Pajiba
- Jennifer Lawrence continues to out-Lawrence herself with this story about getting Doritos on her white dress during the filming of American Hustle. [There is an actual spoiler in this article.] [Not a life spoiler, just an American Hustle spoiler.] -FilmDrunk
- Want to watch a clip from the Thor: The Dark World blooper reel? There is no wrong answer, but I do think that a right answer would be, “I’d like to watch a clip from literally any blooper reel.” -/Film
- Chelsea Peretti interviews Danny McBride. -Elle
- And finally, since one mention of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee in a day is never enough, here is Tina Fey’s episode of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. -Crackle