Photos
On yesterday’s episode of Ellen, which is normally a rather cloying affair, although also entirely inoffensive and I don’t mean that in some kind of College Campus Misanthrope kind of way where “inoffensive” is the gravest of insults, I mean it in a straight-forward, dictionary definition way as in “that show couldn’t and shouldn’t offend anyone because it’s well-intentioned and has an overall spirit of positivity, which maybe the world could use more of”–(What dictionary am I using? The dictionary of MIND YOUR BEES)–Ellen announced that Prop 8 was overturned, which, by the way, Prop 8 was overturned, so that is GREAT NEWS! And then she addressed a minor but not unimportant controversy surrounding her recent appointment (nice euphemism) as the latest JC Penny spokesperson, which has outraged at least one conservative group due to Ellen’s homosexuality. Oh brother! That is what someone is mad about? That the latest JC PENNY SPOKESPERSON is gay? Not only that, but that the spokesperson is gay ELLEN? Who doesn’t love Ellen? I mean, going back to my “inoffensive” comment: it is very hard to “hate” Ellen. You might not care for her show, and you might find that she has slipped into an increasingly comfortable and unambitious slot of padding celebrity puff piece interviews with what could most generously be described as “humor” (but certainly not “comedy”), but that’s her business and her choice, and she is and has always been entirely likable in a way that at least FEELS very genuine and OK, I’m playing devil’s advocate and trying to be cynical here, which is hard for me because I am never cynical about anything, but OK maybe this “genuine” good vibe that she emits is just Hollywood smoke and mirrors and she’s as bitter and hopelessly disappointed with the meaninglessness of a life spent in pursuit of money and attention when death still awaits us all as the rest of us, but even if so: does it matter? I would argue that it doesn’t. The vibe she puts off is the vibe we receive, so who cares whether she does as many goofy dances at home? (But I bet she does! I bet she goofy dances all over that mansion!) But to get back to the issue at hand, and the people getting mad at her about JC PENNY STUFF: Ellen addresses these jerks in a way that is both funny and smart and morally correct and seems like an important and meaningful thing for a highly-visible and unthreatening celebrity to do on national television, but then is also a little bit complicated because of how at the end of the day she’s working very hard to defend a corporate sponsorship:
If you simply stand passively by and watch this devastation from the comfort of your easy chair, then there is snow on your hands, sir. SNOW, I SAY! (Via Arbroath.)
Do you follow Terry Richardson on Tumblr? You probably shouldn’t but maybe you should? It’s hard to say. As much as that guy is a horrifying pervert who has DEFINITELY done something VERY illegal at some point that NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT but everyone KIND OF KNOWS ABOUT, you can’t argue that his washed out “faux-amateur” snapshot portraiture style hasn’t come to define the visual aesthetic of the past 10 years or whatever. So, there’s that. The guy has always inserted himself into his work, but his Tumblr is a real Shrine to Narcissism. There are almost as many photos of Terry Richardson as there are photos of Terry Richardson’s subjects. And if he’s not in the photo, someone’s wearing his glasses. Hey! It’s his Tumblr, he can do what he wants. I’m just telling you what he wants: which is for you to look at and/or fuck him. (Just kidding AND! Definitely “and.”) Anyway, this is a new portrait of him and the lady of interest, Lindsay Lohan. This will surely kickstart her career, right?! She is the star of Avatar 2 now. Congratulations, Lindsay Lohan! Caption this beautiful photograph.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Now go put some clothes on. (Image via Terry Richardson.)
It’s important to remember sometimes that even though life is consistently difficult in varying degrees, it can also be — if you let it — a casual slide. It’s all in the way you see it. The Casual Slide. (Via UniqueDaily.)
- Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, kind of, so you know what that means: Pop culture Valentine’s Day cards on websites! “Print them out” and “give” them to your “friends”! These ones are It’s Always Sunny themed. -BuzzFeed
- Oh great, speaking of Valentine’s Day again, here’s a mashup of “hunky actors” saying “I love you.” The best part is, spoiler alert, when they show a clip of Ross from Friends. The hunkiest!!! -FilmDrunk
- The Monsters at MOBFD have an INCREDIBLE giveaway going on right now, for a signed copy of Katherine Chloe Cahoon’s The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men. Pretty much the best thing you could ever win? The thing you’ve been dreaming of your entire life? GO ENTER! -MOBFD
- Remember the girl who had the “I have a crush on Obama” song back in 2008 when the world was full of so much hope? Well, somebody interviewed her recently! And guess what, she doesn’t know if she’s going to vote for Obama again! Even though she thinks he did a lot of great things? She seems very complicated. -TheDailyWhat
- Daniel Radcliffe is mad at the Oscars for not nominating Harry Potter. That guy is full of opinions lately. For second instance, check out this next one. -ONTD
- Daniel Radcliffe says that if he were gay, he would want to be with Ryan Gosling because he would be nice to you after you did it with him. Wowowowow! -Celebuzz
- I don’t think I included this sketch in my SNL post yesterday, but remember that Bobby Moynihan/Janet Peckinpaugh/Tom Brady sketch from SNL over the weekend? WELL. Some NBC local news anchor has that name! Also she doesn’t think SNL has been funny in 10 years! Oh, Janet. -Observer
- Want to see a clip of Kristen Wiig’s appearance on Portlandia? It’s not happening until this Friday, so don’t watch it if you want the whole episode to be fresh. I’m not going to watch it because I believe in waiting for things. I bet it’s good though, maybe you should watch it? -HuffingtonPost
- Poor old woman Jennifer Anniston mentioned Brad Pitt in an interview again. Obviously. I mean if you ask Jennifer Anniston, “What’s the most annoying thing?” She’s going to say, “The thing where I have to talk about Brad Pitt.” Whatever, anyway, I’m at a point in my life where I love hearing Jennifer Anniston talk about Brad and Angelina for some reason, so this is perfect. -Dlisted
- And, finally, to keep in line with the day, here is Russel Crowe shooting down some RoboCop rumors on Twitter. -Movieline
Aww, here’s a bit of sad news. (Both “sad” and “news” being used the way they’ve always been intended, everything’s going great.) In a recent interview with The Herald Scotland, Robert Pattinson spoke about how his involvement in and the reaction to the Twilight franchise have changed the way he looks at filmmaking. The things college courses in 2015 will be made of, no doubt. Though you’d predict his response might be something like, “They changed how I didn’t know movies could be so good,” his answer is actually something QUITE DIFFERENT! And very sad. Here is the quote, from Us, which is the source I’m quoting it from even though I’ve already stated that it’s originally from another source:
“Doing something like Twilight opens doors and it closes others. You can say, ‘Oh if I was still unknown, then no one would judge me,’” Pattinson said. “But at the same time, nobody would give a shit either.”
Oh, Robert. You poor, poor baby. We all go through times of self-doubt — times of thinking that no one would give a shit about us, had we not been a part of whatever very successful franchise we’re a part of currently. That’s just life. Ups and downs. So I’ve put together a little something for you, and I hope it brightens your day — even just the slightest bit.
As we already discussed earlier today, the world is filled with pointless noise. It’s hard to even think straight these days what with all the SHOUTING. (For a good examples of what I’m talking about, please re-watch the Portlandia sketches “Did You Read?”.) (And also incidentally, this entire discussion gets back to my favorite part of that Internet-age cultural production documentary that we were talking about a couple weeks ago and the false belief in the democratization of the means of production as a blanket cultural good rather than a recursive noise factory that clouds the discussion.) ANYWAY, at the other end of the spectrum from these issues is Werner Herzog, who not only makes movies that are always interesting and sometimes even VERY GOOD, but who seems to have something worth listening to every single time he opens his mouth. The man could reTumbl the phone book and I would read it. Here he is talking about chickens:
What’s even up on that building or that mountain that you’re trying to get? An adrenaline rush? “Fun”? A sense of accomplishment? A real life experience? Well, I’ll tell you where else you can find those things. IN A BOOK!!! Sitting in the most comfortable easy char in your rec room, reading a book. Maybe a fictional book about climbing a building? You’d like that! Maybe a book about a young man who loves parkour and free climbing and is very good at both of them until one day he tries to climb a building and he falls off. It is the highest building in the city and the last one he had to climb before he’s climbed all of them, but what do you know, that’s the one he falls off of. Even though he did everything “right.” The young man doesn’t die, but he gets VERY injured. “Who was I to think that I could climb buildings and make everyone worried,” he says to himself in his hospital room. “Who was I to think that I could film myself doing this and put it on the internet set to an embarrassing song, as if it was something everyone was going to feel comfortable watching.”
