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This is what it sounds like, but somehow it is also so much more. (Via Joe Mande.)
Pretty bad, right? I saw the movie yesterday, Father’s Day, and there were at least three sets of daughters and fathers there to see it. Can you believe the RUDENESS of those daughters?! “Dad, I know it’s your day, but Sofia Coppola dir–” “Who?” “Directed this movie about The Bling Ring–” “The what?” “This group of teenagers who stole property from Paris Hilton’s house–” “Who’s house?” “And like Audrina Patridge’s house” “I actually don’t know who that–” “And Emma Watson is in it.” “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Hahah. I could go on and on with this conversation about a dad who doesn’t know what The Bling Ring is, but I won’t, because we have to talk about how not good of a movie The Bling Ring was! WHAT A SNOOZEFEST! It’s as if Sofia Coppola read Nancy Jo Sales’ “The Suspects Wore Louboutins” and said, “The part of this story where they break into people’s houses is so great that we don’t even need to do anything to it in order to make it into a movie” and then never went back and reexamined that thought! Sitting back and letting the story tell itself is not a technique that could never work, I’m sure, and telling a story about awful people seemingly without judgement is interesting, but when the story is as one-note as this story is AND you seem to be burying parts that could possibly make it more dynamic, it’s a hard technique to swing.
I miss Game of Thrones! JK. I mean, I do. Game of Thrones is so great. But I am an adult, I can handle there not being new episodes of a show I like for awhile. Not to mention that there are other things to do in life besides just watch TV all of the time, and maybe we can use some of this post Game of Thrones time to figure out what some of them are because I have no idea. The stuff of legends and song! It was a little painful last night, though, since Mad Men wasn’t very good. Right? Do you feel me on this? I have been enjoying this season of Mad Men more than any other season. The only other season that I think you could argue was better would be the first season because it laid the groundwork for the series to come, but I didn’t really like the first season. Blaspheme! It took me awhile to get into this show. But this season: A++ would do business with season again. So what was up last night then? Everything was just…off. The timing was super weird. Everything was hit really hard on the head. Like, it is amazing to open the show with Ken Cosgrove getting shot. Wow wow wow! Everyone is like: wow! Wait, wow. Wait, what? Wow. They killed Kenny, etc. Then the show just weirdly ignores it until after the first commercial break, which is an intense choice. It makes you think every time the phone rings that someone is going to report the news that Ken Cosgrove is dead, because isn’t he dead, because didn’t we just see him die? But no, it is just goddamned Harry Crane calling about juice commercials. Then they finally reveal that Ken Cosgrove isn’t dead, just shot up and possibly blind in one eye, and the first thing he says is, “Chevy is literally killing me.” Gah. And then you have dumb dumb Pete’s face, which is all like, “This gives me an idea so crazy that it just might work.” Oh, I hated that scene. You are going to shoot Ken Cosgrove in the face right in front of my eyes just so that he can deliver the line “Chevy is literally killing me”? DO BETTER.
- Fictional movie locations depicted as mid-century travel posters. -LaughingSquid
- After last night’s Mad Men, AMC sent out a press release from “Peggy Olsen” announcing the agency’s rebranding. -Deadline
- BuzzFeed has a promo clip for Showtime’s Masters of Sex up, if you’re interested. Lizzy Caplan and Michael Sheen are in it! -BuzzFeed
- This morning, Funny or Die announced their first comedy tour, Funny Or Die Presents The Oddball Comedy & Curiosity Festival. Dave Chappelle and Flight of the Conchords are headlining and it’ll also feature Hannibal Buress, Kristen Schaal, John Mulaney, and some more. This sounds like an ad, but I’m really just letting you know! -FunnyOrDie
- Dan Harmon, blah blah, Community, blah blah, “flipping through Instagrams watching your girlfriend just blow everyone,” blah blah. -Pajiba
- Disney has officially given a series order to Girl Meets World, the show you will never watch because you are an adult, but that has some relevance to you because you watched Boy Meets World when you were an appropriate age for it. Ahhhh, yay! -Vulture
Oh, Miss South Carolina. How long has it been? Almost five years? Whew! It seems like it was just yesterday when you burst into our life, a bright ray of clumsy Internet beauty. You had us at, “Our education, such as South Africa, and The Iraq, everywhere, like, such as.” I don’t what you to think that what we had together wasn’t special, and I don’t want you to think that just because we’ve found someone new — which I’ll get to in a second — doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t real. As Robyn said, “Tell her not to get upset, second guessing everything you’ve said and done.” That’s what I’m doing now. Don’t get upset! And as Robyn also said, “But you just met somebody new.” And that is what I did. Her name is Miss Utah USA. Is she better than you? Well, it depends on what you mean. Is her answer “better” than yours? No, honey. No Miss USA answer has ever been better than yours and Miss Utah is no exception. Is she newer and therefor more exciting, and is her answer still very good? Yes! Does she say “we need to try to create education better,” a wonderful quote that has very little to do with the question she was asked? YES! Do we love her and are we — us and you — at least “on a break” for now, like Ross and Rachel were on Friends? YES!!!!!
No matter how skilled you may be at getting your groove on, there is always the possibility of error. Please be careful when getting your groove on. Enjoy safely. (Via RatsOff!)
You guys OK? Should we do a quick head count? Seemed like people were kind of quiet this week. You didn’t even let your voices be heard at the ballot box. The highest upvote was, like, 20. I know June Gloom is tough, sometimes the sun doesn’t come out until almost 10:30 in the morning, so for a little while it isn’t sunny, and you are like how hard can life get? But you guys have to hang in there! Teenage suicide don’t do it! I called all the hospitals, though, and they haven’t heard of you guys, so now I’m just sitting at home getting more and more worried. Wringing my hands. Sweating buckets. Could someone please just call or text or SEXT or comment and let me know that you are OK? How am I supposed to enjoy my barbecue at sweet summer vibes this weekend if I’m worried sick that you’re dead, or worse, commenting on a different website?! LOL. JK. Life is short. I hope you are at least having fun, you MONSTERS.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Bill Nye At The Man Of Steel Premiere Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choices.
- Videogum Movie Club Reminder: Let’s all go see Man of Steel this weekend and then come back here and talk about it Monday!
- Adam Sandler is going to star in the remake of a Korean comedy in which a man fails to kill himself and then begins to be haunted by a few ghosts called Hello Ghost. Why isn’t it called Hello, Ghost? I don’t know! You can’t click to find out because no one will say! -FilmDrunk
- HOT THEME PARK RUMOR: Star Wars Land may be coming to Disney in 2018. Don’t think about how old you’ll be by the time it’s there, I promise it will only make you feel weird and bad!! -/Film
- Linsday Lohan still needs the novenas your grandmother is doing for her. -Dlisted
- Gene Wilder thinks Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is an “insult.” He’s correct! That movie, what a mess! -AVClub
- Benedict Cumberbatch drew a picture of himself for charity. Want to see it? It’s good but it is nowhere near as good as the picture Bono drew of himself. You should at least look at that one. Seriously. Oh my god, Bono. -Express
