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The New York Times has a short profile on the “Charlie Bit My Finger” family today. Did you know that video has more than 417 million views? That is so many views! It is the “most successful noncommercial video in YouTube history”! The article does the normal things that articles like this do: it gives completely unsatisfyingly vague information on how much money the family has made from the video, it talks about child exploitation, and features plenty of quotes from the boys’ father about how hard he is trying to stay on the morally right side of that fuzzy line. It sounds like he’s doing OK. Sort of. Like, he explains that he only started making “Charlie Bit My Finger” t-shirts after he saw lots of other people selling them, which makes a lot of sense. Seriously. Why should other people with dubious intentions and/or affiliations be profiting from your children? At the very least you can either use that money to “pay for their education” (an old warhorse explanation for this stuff) or you can donate it to charity, but certainly it’s better. I was listening to an interview with Brad Pitt recently and he was talking about selling the baby photos of Shiloh to People magazine for millions of dollars (all of which he and Angelina Jolie donated to charity) and he was explaining that someone was going to get paid millions of dollars for them, so he’d rather they could control what happened with the money and use it towards a good cause rather than it just ending up in the pocket of some stupid paparazzo and I agree! (See also: this week’s news about Jay-Z and Beyonce trademarking “Blue Ivy.”) Although, the article also talks about how the dad is still posting videos of the boys on-line, and he never really explains why. It’s fine, lots of people post videos of their children. Except you can’t really complain about all the untoward attention and how hard it is to keep your children safe from the negativity of that experience in one breath, and then keep posting videos of them every five minutes when you know that there are millions of people ready to watch them? It’s a little odd. But whatever. Good luck raising your family. Not my problem.
This, though, is definitely my favorite part of the article:
Parks and Recreation aired their (perfect) Valentine’s Day episode last week, leaving this week open for a SUPER-SIZED 30 Rock. And guess what! It was also very good! A nonstop joyride, beginning right when Criss showed Liz the Jetpack Blooper viral video, famously included in Videogum’s “Best Viral Videos of 2011″ retrospective video. It was real dumb how excited I was to watch that video again on 30 Rock. Great clip. I may or may not have said, “OH THIS IS A GOOD VIDEO!” right when he started playing the video, to whoever was in the room with me. Hahah. Maybe 30 Rock should just be a viral video clip show? Just thinking out loud. Anyway, there has been some talk lately about the shifting of Liz from a competent but frazzled leader, to a feeble-minded girl who trusts the opinion of Jack — who was once one of the more absurd characters — more than her own. And, yes! I agree with this! And I think that’s one of the problems that leads to the show feeling kind of tired — playing on the same jokes that were funny in the past because they were balanced with reality, but without the reality part. I’m hoping that now that the Criss plot line seems more stable, Liz will bounce back from her weak period (“I just got my period”) and find some of that old self-assuredness. But WHO KNOWS? Maybe she won’t and then we’ll all live and we’ll still have weekends and be happy and then the show will end. Also: Kristen Schaal is the best and I hope she never leaves. The only thing I have to say about this week’s episode of The Office is that UGH, I HATE THAT NEW GIRL SO MUCH! I not only hate who her character is, but I also hate that they just brought in this dumb new girl for no reason and barely even introduced her, just so she could stir up this dumb Jim controversy. Nobody wants that! Argh I hate it so much. I also watched Up All Night and it was fine! WHAT DID YOU THINK?
It’s Friday. No rules! F IT! A kid Tokyo Drifting in his wheelchair? A KID TOKYO DRIFTING IN HIS WHEELCHAIR!
Puppy DJ? PUPPY DJ! NO JUMP!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Via BlameItOnTheVoices and Neatorama.)
Bill O’Reilly is a liar and an asshole, end of story. There’s absolutely nothing he could ever really do to make up for the years of disinformation and hate-mongering that he has broadcast through his FOX News program and his children’s books. The worst part about Bill O’Reilly, and I have said this before, is the painfully clear fact that the dude doesn’t even believe in half of the garbage things that come out of his mouth. He just says them because he knows they will appeal to his viewership, and he can continue to make lots of money. (As a point of reference on this particular issue, I highly recommend listening to/watching a Bill O’Reilly interview in the “liberal media,” either on The Daily Show or Fresh Air with Terry Gross*. It’s interesting! He almost always comes off as thoughtful and intelligent. Which only makes things worse. Because that means he’s aware.) All of this being said, today we offer credit where credit is due, and point to a rare moment of moral clarity from Mr. O’Reilly. In the wake of the Ellen Degeneres – JC Penny – Million Homophobic Moms dust up, O’Reilly addressed the issue on his show, and not only stood up for Ellen Degeneres’s corporate spokesmanship, which, well, of course he did, I mean, right, but he also stood up for gay rights in general. It’s actually pretty good:
- I like these pictures of a redditor’s dad, apparently, who photoshops himself into movies and movie posters SO MUCH! My goodness. What a hands-down delight. -Reddit
- This is a supercut of slow motion shots from Wes Anderson movies set to different Ja Rule songs. I bet you’re like, “Why didn’t IIIII think of that,” right now, right? Ugh, you’re so predictable. -Uproxx
- Will Ferrell introduced the starting line-ups of the Chicago Bulls and New Orleans Hornets at a basketball game yesterday. You should watch it, probably! It only takes like a minute and I think you’ll probably enjoy it! -SportsGrid
- So, Michael Showalter was on What What Happens Live last night and announced that there was “definitely” going to be a Wet Hot American Summer sequel. I think that was not a true statement? I mean, who knows. But I don’t think so? Right? Do you guys think so? -FilmDrunk
- I’m certainly aware that everyone in Hollywood has a fake name because that’s just what the public WANTS, but I was still totally blown away by this slideshow of actor’s with their real names. Probably because my brain is feeling extra dumb today? I don’t know. But maybe you’ll like it too? And you’ll send the names to your friends? And you’ll be like, “Can you believe it?!” And they’ll be like, “I don’t care about this”? -HuffingtonPost
- Oh my goodness, is Macaulay Culkin ok?! I really don’t think he is! Doesn’t he have anyone who loves him around? Does he need one of us to bring him some soup or milk or something? -ONTD
- Here is a video compilation of some Downton Abbey anachronisms. I would never in a million years know that a bunch of these were anachronisms. -RatsOff
- Requiem for a Dream, your favorite movie of all time, recreated with puppets. Great. -TheDailyWhat
For anyone who’s lost contact with their children:
At a certain point I am certain that we as human beings will evolve to the point where we can breathe underwater through our neck gills stop holding on to the unevolved belief that one is “rapping” just because one understands “how to rhyme words together.” But that will apparently take hundreds and hundreds of years, so for now we have nothing to do but roll around in this primordial swamp together like a bunch of fucking assholes. (Thanks for the tip, Gregory.)
Do any of you guys still watch House? I assume everyone watched House at SOME point, because I did, and everybody does the same things* as me, right? RIGHT? Well if any of you still watch it, first of all, did House ever fix his hurty leg? Second of all, get ready to get SAAAAADDD! Check out this joint statement from House executive producers David Shore and Katie Jacobs, and also Hugh Laurie:
After much deliberation, the producers of House M.D. have decided that this season of the show, the eighth, should be the last. By April this year they will have completed 177 episodes, which is about 175 more than anyone expected back in 2004.
The decision to end the show now, or ever, is a painful one, as it risks putting asunder hundreds of close friendships that have developed over the last eight years — but also because the show itself has been a source of great pride to everyone involved.
The producers have always imagined House as an enigmatic creature; he should never be the last one to leave the party. How much better to disappear before the music stops, while there is still some promise and mystique in the air.
Nooooooo! The music stopped such a long time ago, I feel like, just bring him back so we can keep him in silence foreverrrrrrrrrrrr! Obviously this is heartbreaking news, not only to anyone who still watches House, but also to anyone who even knew that it was still on TV and hadn’t ended at least two seasons ago. What’re we gonna do without it?! Huh?! Well, I’ll TELL you what we’re gonna do about it! We’re gonna keep the plot going! RIGHT HERE!
