Tom Cruise walked into the ice cream shop with his hands in his pockets. You always see these gay guys walking around with their hands out of their pockets, hanging by their sides or something.…   Read Story »

Well, the search for Falcon Heene continues, but there is little that we can do about it from our offices and monster caves. So we must move forward. I know that it is hard to celebrate anything when…   Read Story »

Roman Polanski paced his Swiss jail cell, where he had been placed on decades old warrants related to the 1977 charges of raping and drugging a 13-year-old girl. For weeks he had carefully dug a hole…   Read Story »

There was a knock at Kanye West's hotel suite door. It was the country singer, Taylor Swift. Kanye invited her inside and asked her what her favorite pizza toppings were. "Bubblegum," she said. Kanye…   Read Story »

Charlie Sheen knew that meeting with Barack Obama, the leader of the Western world, was a tremendous privilege. Not everyone with a terrible sitcom and a history of porn addiction got to meet with…   Read Story »

After Jessica Biel finished up her morning Bikram yoga in her private roof-deck yoga studio, she kissed her yoga instructor on both cheeks and sent her off in a chartered helicopter. She made her way…   Read Story »

Jay Leno gripped the wheel of the affordable Saturn Aura sports sedan so tightly that his knuckles went as white as the exterior finish, and he could feel the skin of his palms wearing away to…   Read Story »

Finding herself with an increased amount of spare time to fill, and having run out of walls to blankly stare at, Paul Abdul figured she should get out of the house. It had been a long summer, what…   Read Story »

First thing in the morning, Jon Gosselin cracked open a Diet Red Bull and ironed his favorite Ed Hardy shirt. It had a tiger made out of barbed wire fucking a dolphin in the mouth in the center of a…   Read Story »

Katherine Heigl lit a cigarette and emasculated her husband for awhile. Then she called a reporter and said "feminism" and hung up. Katherine Heigl tucked her dick into her pants and hiked her pants…   Read Story »