After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
I know that I have said this before, but I will say it again now, and probably again another time in the future, and probably again after that, all the way until the year 2012, but considering how…   Read Story »
Nothing ends. The cycle continues. And the circle is unbroken. So here we stand, once more at the precipice of an enormous crossroads, looking down the ash-covered highway, our hands gripping tightly…   Read Story »
Theater is dead, or whatever. I mean, it still exists in community productions of Our Town, and it pretends to have cultural relevance in New York and Chicago, but for the most part it is very, very…   Read Story »
If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then…   Read Story »
Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily…   Read Story »
Action movies are basically children's movies for adults. That is to say that they are expressly designed to hit very specific pleasure centers to generate a predictable and uniform reaction. Bad…   Read Story »
Jessica Alba is really hot. Kind of. I mean, she is. In her face. But the more you learn about her, the less hot she seems. For one thing, she's not very good at acting, which is her job. And that's…   Read Story »
If you were to describe the movie Georgia Rule in a few short sentences on a sheet of paper, one might assume that it was an awful, awful movie. For example: It's the tonally-disjointed gently comic…   Read Story »
As a 57-year-old man who spends most of his weekends sitting on his porch with a rifle laid across his lap throwing stones at passersby as practice for later so that in my actual retirement it will…   Read Story »
Look, screenwriters, I get it. Your job is to sit around all day in your dirty bathrobes coming up with hackneyed premises to temporarily distract our stupid faces. Fair enough. Everyone has to put…   Read Story »