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January Jones really stretching her acting chops there by playing an annoying, conniving snatch of a wife. Wonder what made the producers think of casting her?
God, I hope I die before I get so old that the highlight of my day is when strangers come to my nursing home and measures animals for my amusement.
It’s like when Forrest Gump made the peace sign, but had to do it with both hands.
“Im-p-or-t-an-t is a six syllable word. You can trust me, I have my hand on my hip. Totally casual genius at work.”
Nobody mentioned how the house itself was taunting Betty at the end?
ding-dong.
DING-dong.
DING-DONG! DING-DONG!!!!
“Democratization of creative resourcing” is my new favorite pickup line.
Jersey Shore?
Say what you will, but at least O’Reilly has the guts to take a stand on such polarizing issues as:
1. Being against terrorism
2. Liking Christmas
3. Thinking child rapists are bad
4. Agreeing with folks
That said, this is just a lovely song and video and she DOES have fabulously honeyed hair.
Gwyneth Paltrow is what is wrong with the WHOLE WORLD, insomuch as the geopolitical machine that governs civilized society is based on the difficult and painful vs. the easy and comforting. Country music is the destination for “artists” that have fallen out of favor with those who judge them difficult and painful so that they can take refuge in the easy and comforting. Gwyneth Paltrow (and to a slightly lesser extent, country music in general) constantly hopes to connect with “regular people” by waiving the aluminum foil of TRUTH and DECENCY in the face of society while at the same time slyly lifting the wallet on a chain from the pocket of the working man. It causes people on one side (of actual issues that matter) to chant mindless, home-spun stupidity in the face of the other side (of actual issues that matter), who conversely hate them for that stupidity, causing the whole machine to churn, stupidity charging hatred charging stupidity.
Gwyneth Paltrow is Hitler in Germany. She is the 18 minute Watergate tape gap. She is the O-Ring in the Space Shuttle Challenger. She is the box cutter. She is the entire mine in Chile. She is country strong.
I swear to God, if I find out that her last name in this movie is “Strong”, I will personally buy a ticket just to walk up to the movie screen and slap her 20-foot-high face.
GOOD DAY, SIR!
The commercial, because of what that awful black man did to the skinny white girl on that award show about nothing.
“Wildest Dating Service in America: Cougarlife.com” – Christian Science Monitor
I don’t think he bent to his father’s will so much as he bent to his father’s CANE TO THE SKULL
(cue gif)
I think Dick Whitman should become Don Draper.
I couldn’t help but notice that he takes a Larry Craig-esque wide stance throughout the entire interview.
When someone tells me that I shouldn’t “hate” anyone, I’m going to direct them to this video.
“Oh my lord, what a cunt” – The Pope
Would’ve been better if she’d said, “I’d like to ask the colored man a question (no racist).”
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: you’ve gotta punch in pretty early around here to be the first to make an inter-species/French cat rape/Shrek joke.
It’s nice that we now have a video example for Wikipedia of the word “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH”.
The only things that will make this even remotely watchable, in order:
1. Hardcore pornography
2. Jack, at some point, yelling, “WE HAVE TO GO BACK!”
3. Zombie Shakespeare rolling (over and) out of his grave and killing Russell Brand.
It was, frankly, just a matter of time before the monsters turned into Heaven’s Gate. Might I suggest that Gabe castrate himself as a sign that we should prepare for our journey? I’d castrate myself first, but all of my knives are pretty dull. Being in a cult is HARD with all the space travel and knife sharpening.
Some people should not be allowed to watch television. PAY ATTENTION!! Television is important.
Both of mine were site gags:
Habitat for Huge Manatees (at the zoo)
Cheezus H. Rice (on the shelf at the store)
Not even a mention of how Roger gave Joan a massage, “tip included” and then later gave her a mugging, tip included?
See what I did there? You see.
Pirates of The Caribbean: Drowning in a Sea of Cash