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 +5Posted on Jul 15th, 2013 | re: Have You Started (Or Finished) Watching Orange Is The New Black Yet? (20 comments)

I loved Weeds, even when it got super weird and crap–because I will watch almost anything if it has great dialogue and actors playing characters I love. Which is why I watched 13 episodes of Orange Is the New Black this weekend. It was amazing seeing actresses do brilliant work in roles they would probably not be able to get otherwise–how many shows have almost all female casts? (Plus, “Porn ‘Stache” was the hot Israeli soldier on Weeds and he is super hot, even if not on this show.)

Favorite scene: when “Crazy Eyes” did her Shakespeare monologue during the Scared Straight yell fest.

 +8Posted on Apr 8th, 2013 | re: Mad Men Season 6 Premiere Open Thread (74 comments)

Oh, and “She’s been saying it’s her last Christmas for 20 years” really made me laugh. I would totally go see Roger the Comedian.

 +11Posted on Apr 8th, 2013 | re: Mad Men Season 6 Premiere Open Thread (74 comments)

As someone who makes a lot of dead mom jokes, I loved violin-girl’s joke. Except in real life, people don’t always laugh when you say, “My mom is dead” like that, which is unfortunate. And then there was a literal dead mom (Roger’s) followed by Cosgrove very politely asking everyone, one at a time, if his mom was alive. All that plus the very wooden delivery of a very creepy rape joke–big night for inappropriate humor.

 -1Posted on Apr 5th, 2013 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (43 comments)

I am oblivious apparently–the Mitt Romney thing went over my head. And they don’t actually talk about politics a lot…? It is no West Wing, that’s for sure–I don’t even know if the president is a Democrat or a Republican. I also really enjoy Josh Gad, who is pretty much the center of the show. His physical comedy makes me laugh. OH WELL. It’s not the worst show I’ll ever defend, that’s for sure.

 0Posted on Apr 5th, 2013 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (43 comments)

I like 1600 Penn! Despite Dharma’s presence. They have a 13-year-old lesbian–that’s pretty cool! I also like Go On. I like everything I guess.

Maybe this has been covered in other comedy-complaint sessions, but how are promos out for a 9-episode show while they’re still filming on The Office? Why are you filming, guys? For reactions? Can’t you just do a reunion show like Andy Cohen? Of all the Office’s plot holes (what plot holes?), this is the one I’m focusing on, I guess.

 +6Posted on Mar 18th, 2013 | re: Girls Season 2 Finale Open Thread (48 comments)

Agreed. I kind of thought it was supposed to be a surreal feeling, where as a viewer, you’re rooting for shirtless Adam as he runs to Hannah, and you get all tingly because this is what you’re taught to champion (the rescue!) but once it’s over, you feel weird and icky and sad and you’re like, “Why was I rooting for that?” (“We were rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!” -Tyra Banks) So not to be one of THOSE people, but I think a lot of the criticisms I’ve read seemed to think about it at the top level, like “This is portraying girls dependent on boys” when it seemed to actually be trying to make us question that instead.

 +4Posted on Mar 15th, 2013 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (49 comments)

I regret googling Topsy to find out if she was real. Unfortunately, I do everything Billy Eichner tells me to do.

 +20Posted on Nov 19th, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Jeremy Renner And Maroon 5 (23 comments)

That bugged me too. But the new dude trotting out in the dress all pleased with himself made up for it.

 +8Posted on Oct 26th, 2012 | re: This Is Always A Fun Game (95 comments)

Dirty Dancing: a young Baby experiments with sex, lying, and illegal activity. Learns why all men who like Ayn Rand are horrible.

 +20Posted on Oct 22nd, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Bruno Mars (And Tom Hanks) (29 comments)

I thought Sad Mouse was kind of brilliant. When he just got on the ground and was punching himself in the head…And being afraid no one would wave back. That’s probably a really valid Times-Square-costume-people fear!

 +11Posted on Nov 17th, 2011 | re: The Most Satisfying House Of Cards Video You Will Ever See (21 comments)

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

 +11Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 | re: Whoever Patti Stanger Is, She Needs To Rest Her Case (66 comments)

I actually saw this episode live (I will now think of myself as the Horrible TV Correspondent) and she’s lying, as Gawker also pointed out. Throughout the hour, she said that gay men can’t be monogamous (in response to a question about open long-distance relationships) and then complimented the guy who actually DID call in from LA (which was after the initial comment), saying that he is handsome and he looks straight “which is a compliment.” When Andy asked why it was a compliment, she said that no one wants someone who is queenie. And then she’s like, “Come on, like you’d date a queen! You wouldn’t.”

So yeah, she’s an idiot, but it was pretty obvious everyone agreed that she sounded stupid–the audience, which is usually filled with excited interns laughing at everything, were silent the entire hour. And really, who the hell is watching this show besides people who don’t really believe those stereotypes about gay men. When I watch her show, I cringe when she tells EVERY SINGLE woman to straighten her hair, wear certain clothes, lose weight, act less masculine, etc. And you’re supposed to; the point of the show is to dislike her and the people she works with. She makes money because she is dealing with very superficial people who want to trade goods (money for pretty people, in this case). If she were a regular old matchmaker (I’m sure that’s a thing), she wouldn’t make such grand proclamations and see things so rigidly. She knows that spouting mantras and arbitrary rules sells her stupid book, so she does that. I do hate when people can’t just own up to their shit, though. She thought she was being cute and knowledgeable so she doesn’t want to back down. Just say you said something homophobic, no matter how many gay friends you have, and apologize and move on.

 +1Posted on Aug 24th, 2011 | re: Kids Krumping Is The Best Thing Around (26 comments)

We can only hope that you live a long, full life so that these krumping children are no longer children and it’s even more awkward for everyone.

 +15Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: January Jones Is One Of The Worst People On Earth (81 comments)

I forgive her–she can’t help that she is in good-looking bubble. Relevant to our interests:

Jack: The bubble isn’t always a bad thing. Look at me. I turned out okay.
Liz: Jack, I want you to pay close attention to the following over-the-top eye roll. [rolls eyes] Oh, brother.
Jack: Lemon, I don’t share this often, but this is a photo of me when I was 25 years old.

 +7Posted on Jul 18th, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part 2 (152 comments)

After having discussed it at length with my nerdy friends all weekend, I’m too emotionally exhausted to rehash it. All I have to say is: it’s probably a good thing that the movies are done because I looked around the audience at the midnight showing and realized I was basically an unintentional chaperone to all of the baby nerds.

 +6Posted on Jul 15th, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (86 comments)

It’s a pretty cruel joke that I had to watch the Insidious trailer to get to the Hugo trailer. I have the brain of a child, I want to see children’s movies, and I don’t want to pee my pants at 3 PM.

OK, I give up. It seems Videogum and Facebook have made a deal with the devil and I am forever destined to make comments under my name so that future employers google me and see that I’m a huge NERD. So be it.

 +3Posted on Jul 8th, 2011 | re: Friday Giveaway: Curb Your Enthusiasm Mug And Mousepad (29 comments)

Congrats, Nikki. In other news, this is the worst day of my life (until next Friday).

 +9Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Roseanne's Nuts Is ACTUALLY About Nuts?! (29 comments)

For fuck’s sake! Why can’t I master this Facebook connect crap? Anyway, since I’m here, I ALSO love that DJ’s love interest was a nerdy, opinionated girl; I hate movies/shows where the nerdy guys go after the pretty girls they know nothing about and having nothing in common with.

Anyway, I miss Roseanne. And I find people who dislike it suspicious.

 +14Posted on Jul 6th, 2011 | re: Ask Dr. Birdie: Get Well Soon! (27 comments)

Cool. Now you have my name if you want to google me. I have a LinkedIn profile from about five years ago.

 +1Posted on Jul 1st, 2011 | re: Beyonce Surprises Dancing Children At A Target In Harlem (32 comments)

I live by the Brooklyn target, and this is pretty much what it looks like at all hours. Huge crowds, everyone dancing to Beyonce, and video cameras taping all the Target-related excitement. They expanded their frozen foods section, so things are even better than I ever thought possible.

 +20Posted on Jun 21st, 2011 | re: More Twitter News: Roger Ebert Hurt Bam Margera's Feelings! (131 comments)

I think Ebert’s delivery was off, but obviously he was trying to make a point. And while Bam probably should’ve taken the higher road and said nothing right now, grief is a pretty powerful thing. I think the opposite of Gabe, though; I think Bam is pointing out his grief not as some comment about his friend’s celebrity, but that he was Bam’s real life friend. We feel it’s OK to say those things about Dunn publicly, like Ebert, BECAUSE he was famous and we don’t really know him. In my real life, I know people who make very reckless decisions, and I am not there to stop them all the time. If one of them died and then someone came up to me and brought up the recklessness of the deceased person’s actions, I’d probably want to punch them in the face. That doesn’t make the person wrong, just inappropriate in context. But again, we don’t know Dunn so we can separate the sadness of it from the wrongness of it.

Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I think Dunn’s death seems to point to a larger behavioral issue. While some of the Jackasses were addicted to drugs, it seems they are all addicted to this sort of reckless decision-making. I mean, whether or not he was drunk, it really doesn’t make sense for anyone to be driving so fast unless they’re searching for some sort of danger-high. I guess I’m just pointing out that addiction comes in all forms.

 +5Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Running With Scissors (90 comments)

Man, I wish you were my friend. Every time I go off about how much I loathe this book, there are people around to tell me it’s genius and I just don’t get it. Please help me beat up these people.

 +4Posted on Jun 17th, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game: Describe Your Penis With A Movie (254 comments)

(I’m assuming one doesn’t need an actual penis to play.)

 +5Posted on Jun 17th, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game: Describe Your Penis With A Movie (254 comments)