Some men just want to watch the world burn.

I actually saw this episode live (I will now think of myself as the Horrible TV Correspondent) and she’s lying, as Gawker also pointed out. Throughout the hour, she said that gay men can’t be monogamous (in response to a question about open long-distance relationships) and then complimented the guy who actually DID call in from LA (which was after the initial comment), saying that he is handsome and he looks straight “which is a compliment.” When Andy asked why it was a compliment, she said that no one wants someone who is queenie. And then she’s like, “Come on, like you’d date a queen! You wouldn’t.”

So yeah, she’s an idiot, but it was pretty obvious everyone agreed that she sounded stupid–the audience, which is usually filled with excited interns laughing at everything, were silent the entire hour. And really, who the hell is watching this show besides people who don’t really believe those stereotypes about gay men. When I watch her show, I cringe when she tells EVERY SINGLE woman to straighten her hair, wear certain clothes, lose weight, act less masculine, etc. And you’re supposed to; the point of the show is to dislike her and the people she works with. She makes money because she is dealing with very superficial people who want to trade goods (money for pretty people, in this case). If she were a regular old matchmaker (I’m sure that’s a thing), she wouldn’t make such grand proclamations and see things so rigidly. She knows that spouting mantras and arbitrary rules sells her stupid book, so she does that. I do hate when people can’t just own up to their shit, though. She thought she was being cute and knowledgeable so she doesn’t want to back down. Just say you said something homophobic, no matter how many gay friends you have, and apologize and move on.

I forgive her–she can’t help that she is in good-looking bubble. Relevant to our interests:

Jack: The bubble isn’t always a bad thing. Look at me. I turned out okay.
Liz: Jack, I want you to pay close attention to the following over-the-top eye roll. [rolls eyes] Oh, brother.
Jack: Lemon, I don’t share this often, but this is a photo of me when I was 25 years old.

After having discussed it at length with my nerdy friends all weekend, I’m too emotionally exhausted to rehash it. All I have to say is: it’s probably a good thing that the movies are done because I looked around the audience at the midnight showing and realized I was basically an unintentional chaperone to all of the baby nerds.

It’s a pretty cruel joke that I had to watch the Insidious trailer to get to the Hugo trailer. I have the brain of a child, I want to see children’s movies, and I don’t want to pee my pants at 3 PM.

OK, I give up. It seems Videogum and Facebook have made a deal with the devil and I am forever destined to make comments under my name so that future employers google me and see that I’m a huge NERD. So be it.

For fuck’s sake! Why can’t I master this Facebook connect crap? Anyway, since I’m here, I ALSO love that DJ’s love interest was a nerdy, opinionated girl; I hate movies/shows where the nerdy guys go after the pretty girls they know nothing about and having nothing in common with.

Anyway, I miss Roseanne. And I find people who dislike it suspicious.

Cool. Now you have my name if you want to google me. I have a LinkedIn profile from about five years ago.