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Le Spleen
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 +14Posted on Feb 5th, 2010 | re: Someone Stole Your Movie Idea (35 comments)

Yeah, I’m not sure George Washington Carver would have invented his Peanut Internet if he had known it was going to be used for such nefarious purposes.

SAD FACE.

 +5Posted on Feb 4th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: R. Kelly Is A Lunatic (36 comments)

Do not question whether R. Kelly has a picture of a teenaged girl in his wallet, boo.

 +2Posted on Feb 1st, 2010 | re: Cemetery JunctionTrailer, You Guys (25 comments)

That depends. Do you have an impenetrable accent or drug-induced speech impediment?

 +9Posted on Feb 1st, 2010 | re: Cemetery JunctionTrailer, You Guys (25 comments)

You don’t have to understand what a man is saying to find him sexually attractive. Unfortunately, this is how I ended up having a three-way with Bob Dylan and Ozzy Osbourne )-:

 +15Posted on Jan 29th, 2010 | re: These Guys Keep It Very, Very Real (46 comments)

“Yo, let me spit, Rob,” was the only sentence I understood — until they began to speak the international language (of roller skating in tight Spandex biker shorts).

 +1Posted on Jan 29th, 2010 | re: God Loves Mariah Carey And Nicki Minaj (18 comments)

I dunno, I think she rocks the aging porn star hairdo pretty well.

 +3Posted on Jan 28th, 2010 | re: Liveblogging Jay Leno On Oprah (54 comments)

In JayLenoese, “inviting a fellow comedian, who has expressed justifiable animosity towards you and your ilk, onto your show in a display of incredible hubris” means “getting sucker-punched.”

I think the iPhone has an app that translates JayLenoese in real time, but I only have a rotary phone, so.