Find Me On:
Seriously let’s break down just the development of Clark Kent.
At the beginning of the movie, he’s already saving people from accidents. So he’s a hero at the VERY BEGINNING. Over the course of the film, we watch him learn that sometimes you have to NOT save people even if you can because… well just trust your Human Dad on this one. (there is literally never any payoff for that lesson, no time when he reveals himself and people close to him get hurt, the payoff scene is Costner’s death)
Then, Ghost Dad tells him something about choice and freedom and shit which convinces him to surrender to space Nazis but also not really surrender because he breaks out after 3 minutes in custody. Then Ghost Dad tries to pep talk him into saving Lois, but man, he saved like 15 dudes on that oil rig during his bearded hobo Bob Benson phase. He already knew how to save people.
Then at the very end of the movie he learns that he wasted a bunch of time throwing cars and shit when he could’ve been murdering people by snapping their necks.
I cannot say what point, if any, I’m supposed to take home from this shit.
“No half measures”?
There is actually a second joke in the movie. Well, “joke”. When the General is driving in the desert for no reason and Superman throws a broken drone at them, the lady soldier has the hots for Superman.
Dawn of the Dead was much much better than this. It had some random spots of levity, it had clearly defined character traits, and most of all it had clearly directed action scenes that were tense and had understandable stakes(zombies want to eat the heroes, heroes want to shoot the zombies in the head). This movie was tedious, confusing despite being jampacked with an ENORMOUS amount of nonsense exposition from Ghost Dad and bepectacled scientists and domineering newsmen, and like Gabe says just unremittingly bleak and pointless.
So Superman learned that with the power of murdering Zod he could be naturally born and also genocide his entire species? What? What was the arc there again?
When Superman fights Invincible Space Hitler, what’s the audience supposed to be rooting for?
As a viewer, were we supposed to know that you can just snap a Kryptonian neck? Why did Superman and Zod spend so much time punching each other through office buildings and Hubble telescopes then? We had previously established in the first fight that getting punched or kicked or thrown around doesn’t do anything to either the good guy or the bad guys.
So all the big action sequences features at least one entirely invulnerable bad guy. That is terrible. Like the SVU guy subplot rivalry with Space Eva Braun… we’re just rooted for her charity, right? For some reason she wastes her time punching people and talking instead of just winning by throwing the cargo plane into the fucking sun. The human characters have no agency, no ability to do anything to her.
P.S. there ever an explanation for how Zod was able to INVADE SUIPERMAN’S DREAMS and show him that quickskull patch left over from Terminator 2?
I didn’t understand why Don switched from “Harry don’t bother me about Sunkist, I told you to withdraw so go withdraw” to “Hey but actually the exact opposite of that, I love Sunkist and I will sell the hell out of it to the partners”.
Was it supposed to be a surprise to the audience that the fictional ad agency is changing what fruit juice they are not making ads for?
Oh Pete, they beheaded that Stark boy.
Mother that was 2 seasons ago.
Kelly are you going through your “Bret Easton Ellis” phase AND your “slash fan fiction” phase simultaneously?
“If the rule GRIIIIIIIIMES followed brought him to the prison, of what use was the rule?”
Is that a still from the sequel to “No Country for Old Men” where we see the bad guy age into a crotchety old guy with terrible eyesight?
In the related videos there is a video(“Pumpkin Carving III”) where he shoots a pumpkin with an AK-47 w/ 75 round magazine, to similar effect. He is wearing the same clothes and makes the same “common household implement” joke! So this is literally the same video with a less impressive firearm and a slightly better pumpkin face.
Pumpkin Carving IV is the Hangover II of pumpkin carving.
I like how that guy started with movies that are “tough to watch” because of graphic rape scenes/gore/etc., then switched to movies with sad endings, then just kinda threw up his hands and threw in some racism.
So I guess somebody DID NOT DO THEIR RESEARCH. LOOKING AT YOU CLOONEY
At least three of the movies on the 50 Greatest Films You’ll Only Watch Once list have had Hollywood remakes come out over the past decade or so.
Why does Brad Pitt need a stunt double for a role as a lawyer in a movie written by Cormac McCarthy, anyway? His characters aren’t much for the running, jumping, and climbing trees shit.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s actual severed head is inside that bag the stunt double is holding.
There’s a whole untapped market of making prequels to those “normal guy has something weird happen to him” movies.
Haven’t we all wondered what sort of house James Brolin’s character lived in BEFORE he moved to Amityville?
The Last Airconditioner
“Welcome to Ghent!”
Aliens are pressing American astronauts into slave labor on their merchant spaceships so we invade Canada? THATS WHY THEY KIDNAPPED RANDY QUAID.
Shouldn’t the sequel be called “The War of 1812″?
I saw this movie! It was pretty good, I guess. If you were wondering that the creators of this film couldn’t still lean heavily on “fish out of water” humor despite the fact that it’s been 14 years since the first movie, don’t even worry.
The Sopranos does not hold up very well. It’s very broad and the dream sequences seem tacky. I SAID IT.
Deadwood is still good.
Weep for yourself, my man,
You’ll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You’re not as brave as you were at the start
There’s a plot point in the third act that I can understand the US military being uncomfortable with assisting with, and I think the spokesman is just trying to be nice about spoilering the film.