virgil hilts
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“Did you bring your gun as I suggested?”

 +7Posted on Jan 21st, 2014 | re: SHERLOCK IS BACK! (55 comments)

I am not British but I concur with this ranking, though even more greater than signs could be used in each gap. I disagree with Kelly(on her own blog!) that the meat was the drama. The interpersonal drama isn’t the meat, it’s the flaky pudding of this pie(? As I said, I’m not British).

The meat of the Sherlock episodes is the part where he figures shit out with the benefit of Tony Scott cinematography. The first episode had almost none of that, the actual terrorist plot was a complete afterthought, AND they never actually solved the part where Watson got kidnapped and almost burned and seemed kinda blase about it. Like, who hasn’t almost been burned alive in a V for Vendetta tribute bonfire?

 +11Posted on Jan 7th, 2014 | re: Awwww, Poor Michael Bay? (25 comments)

That Samsung exec is a pretty laid back dude to be that chill about Bay. Or maybe the same thing happened in dress.

 +5Posted on Oct 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum SpoOOooooOooOooky Movie Club: The Thing (53 comments)

Also the thumb cutting was like, dudes, is that the only way you could think of to get your blood out? THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY.

Namely, a better way would be just pricking your finger with any of the needles that would’ve been in the SAME ROOM where MacReady found that surgical scalpel.

“Dudes I’m 100% onboard with the blood burning plan, but let’s just look in like two more drawers for some syringes before we start slashing our hands open.” -Me

 +13Posted on Oct 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum SpoOOooooOooOooky Movie Club: The Thing (53 comments)

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding” in the Mr. Spiderhead scene is one of the greatest mergers of audience and character reaction in cinematic history

“They mostly come out to the ballgame at night. Mostly.”

 +5Posted on Jul 26th, 2013 | re: Updating The Butterfly Effect For A Modern Audience (21 comments)

This movie doesn’t have nearly enough product placement for the audiences of today

 +5Posted on Jul 25th, 2013 | re: Kicking Paula Deen While She Is Down, But Also She Deserves It (57 comments)

There’s actually just the one way, and we didn’t need to look for it very hard. Because of how she’s a huge racist.

 +9Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: 2013 Emmy Nomination Snubs (21 comments)

*blue and red coloured paper

 +14Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: 2013 Emmy Nomination Snubs (21 comments)

Gabe I hate to be the bearer of Canadian news but Orphan Black was set in Canada. All the cars have Ontario plates and the SPOILERS big bag of cash was all blue and red colored paper.

I agree that the show was overhyped and that awards push was more than a little influenced by nerds seeing a pretty lady on their TeeVee, but I am a HUGE WEIRDO and constantly try to notice revealing mistakes(e.g. Psych’s hilarious attempts to pass Vancouver off as Santa Barbara), but Orphan Black was clearly both set in Toronto and filmed there.


 +5Posted on Jul 15th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Pacific Rim (46 comments)

Oh I also definitely was like “man this movie has almost no female characters and there is no good reason for it”. Burn Gorman’s character could’ve been turned into a woman without even changing any of the dialogue!

 +3Posted on Jul 15th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Pacific Rim (46 comments)

You should at least remember that the analog robot was “Gipsy Danger” because it was spelled Gipsy throughout the entire movie. Measure twice, cut once, check if you’re using a weird variant spelling never, that’s what I always say. Also “gipsy danger” kinda seems racist?

Also, can we talk about when Charlie Hunnam tried to grab Idris Elba’s arm and Idris stared at him? Tremendous.

 +6Posted on Jun 27th, 2013 | re: Yo, Is World War Z Anti-Semitic? (34 comments)

The book is a terrible mishmash of Max Brook’s bizarre political and pop culture fetishes(blind monks are awesome! Adam Sandler movies! Transformers!). In addition to that apartheid part, which does happen, there is definitely a part where he waxes on and on about how important it is to have an island for all the smart people to go and be safe while all the BIG STUPID JOCKS die horribly outside because they were NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH to save.

Also he is bizarrely pro-Cuba. And there’s a part where zombies beat tanks because generals are stubborn. Generals might be stubborn, but there’s no fucking way a zombie is setting a tank on fire!

The book is terrible, basically. It might not be terrible by the standards of zombie books or fan fiction, but by the standards of books with professionally made binding, ugh.

 +5Posted on Jun 25th, 2013 | re: The Problem With The Internet's Brand Of Fandom And Breaking Bad (53 comments)

Yo in a slightly related comment the internet is full of Breaking Bad fans with like this weird fetish for subdividing Cranston’s character into Walter White and “Heisenberg” and then like swooning about how Heisenberg is such a badass with his hat and sunglasses and sociopathic disregard for human life.

I don’t like that they like the same thing as me but they are doing it wrong.

 +4Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 | re: Mad Men Season Six Finale Open Thread (50 comments)

The “who gets to go to California” plotline seemed kind of crammed all into one episode.

ALSO NOT TO BE A HUGE NIT PICKER but Don drove from Manhattan to Sally’s school to Pennsylvania coal country in one day? His kids are not going to be pleased with taking a 7 hour road trip to look at the house from Psycho complete with small child eating a Popsicle at a very unseasonable time of the year. GOOD WORK PEGGY!

 +9Posted on Jun 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Man Of Steel (68 comments)

Seriously let’s break down just the development of Clark Kent.

At the beginning of the movie, he’s already saving people from accidents. So he’s a hero at the VERY BEGINNING. Over the course of the film, we watch him learn that sometimes you have to NOT save people even if you can because… well just trust your Human Dad on this one. (there is literally never any payoff for that lesson, no time when he reveals himself and people close to him get hurt, the payoff scene is Costner’s death)

Then, Ghost Dad tells him something about choice and freedom and shit which convinces him to surrender to space Nazis but also not really surrender because he breaks out after 3 minutes in custody. Then Ghost Dad tries to pep talk him into saving Lois, but man, he saved like 15 dudes on that oil rig during his bearded hobo Bob Benson phase. He already knew how to save people.

Then at the very end of the movie he learns that he wasted a bunch of time throwing cars and shit when he could’ve been murdering people by snapping their necks.

I cannot say what point, if any, I’m supposed to take home from this shit.

“No half measures”?

 +3Posted on Jun 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Man Of Steel (68 comments)

There is actually a second joke in the movie. Well, “joke”. When the General is driving in the desert for no reason and Superman throws a broken drone at them, the lady soldier has the hots for Superman.

 +5Posted on Jun 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Man Of Steel (68 comments)

Dawn of the Dead was much much better than this. It had some random spots of levity, it had clearly defined character traits, and most of all it had clearly directed action scenes that were tense and had understandable stakes(zombies want to eat the heroes, heroes want to shoot the zombies in the head). This movie was tedious, confusing despite being jampacked with an ENORMOUS amount of nonsense exposition from Ghost Dad and bepectacled scientists and domineering newsmen, and like Gabe says just unremittingly bleak and pointless.

So Superman learned that with the power of murdering Zod he could be naturally born and also genocide his entire species? What? What was the arc there again?

When Superman fights Invincible Space Hitler, what’s the audience supposed to be rooting for?

As a viewer, were we supposed to know that you can just snap a Kryptonian neck? Why did Superman and Zod spend so much time punching each other through office buildings and Hubble telescopes then? We had previously established in the first fight that getting punched or kicked or thrown around doesn’t do anything to either the good guy or the bad guys.

So all the big action sequences features at least one entirely invulnerable bad guy. That is terrible. Like the SVU guy subplot rivalry with Space Eva Braun… we’re just rooted for her charity, right? For some reason she wastes her time punching people and talking instead of just winning by throwing the cargo plane into the fucking sun. The human characters have no agency, no ability to do anything to her.

P.S. there ever an explanation for how Zod was able to INVADE SUIPERMAN’S DREAMS and show him that quickskull patch left over from Terminator 2?

 +1Posted on Jun 17th, 2013 | re: Last Night's Episode Of Mad Men Wasn't Very Good! (41 comments)

I didn’t understand why Don switched from “Harry don’t bother me about Sunkist, I told you to withdraw so go withdraw” to “Hey but actually the exact opposite of that, I love Sunkist and I will sell the hell out of it to the partners”.

Was it supposed to be a surprise to the audience that the fictional ad agency is changing what fruit juice they are not making ads for?

 +25Posted on May 13th, 2013 | re: Let's Talk About Mad Men And Game Of Thrones, Though (74 comments)

Oh Pete, they beheaded that Stark boy.

Mother that was 2 seasons ago.

 +9Posted on May 1st, 2013 | re: Lindsay Lohan And Tara Reid Try To Make Amends (37 comments)

Kelly are you going through your “Bret Easton Ellis” phase AND your “slash fan fiction” phase simultaneously?

 +3Posted on Jan 22nd, 2013 | re: Cumberbatch Continues Transparent Attack On Female Hearts (31 comments)

 +1Posted on Dec 25th, 2012 | re: Favorite TV Shows Of 2012 (48 comments)

“If the rule GRIIIIIIIIMES followed brought him to the prison, of what use was the rule?”

 +5Posted on Dec 25th, 2012 | re: Favorite TV Shows Of 2012 (48 comments)

Is that a still from the sequel to “No Country for Old Men” where we see the bad guy age into a crotchety old guy with terrible eyesight?

 +4Posted on Nov 26th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Cast Of Beverly Hills Cop (28 comments)

This movie will never get any buzz on Twitter without casting Lindsay Lohan as something. What do you guys think about her as Insp. Todd?