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videogumchewer
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 +4Posted on Jun 26th, 2012 | re: Dump Him, Girl: Wedding Party Falls In A Lake (25 comments)

This is why Vegas weddings were invented.

 +2Posted on Jun 1st, 2012 | re: Two Men Shot In Fight Over Kool Aid (22 comments)

I know who they should double date with…they can bring the cookies and these guys can bring the Kool Aid.

 +8Posted on May 31st, 2012 | re: "Ain't No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven" (48 comments)

I feel bad for this kid because he has no role model in his life to educate him on tolerance, understanding, and the necessity of equality for all. He has no shot and right now that is not his fault. In a few years, when he is able to seek out his own information and form his own opinions it will be his fault, but right now, he’s being influenced by the wrong people and he had no choice in that. A child relies upon adults to guide them and he is being guided down the wrong path. Hopefully he can right the ship later in life.

 +8Posted on May 31st, 2012 | re: "Ain't No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven" (48 comments)

The hilarious (not really hilarious) thing is that the construct of Heaven was created by men to keep people (subordinates) in line by instilling in everyone the overriding fear that bad behavior would lead to eternal damnation and good behavior would be rewarded with Heaven. (Also…it kept the poor in line by saying that the kingdom and riches would be theirs later for eternity, so don’t rise up against your abject poverty now.)

Now, for some reason this got all mucked up, and bad behavior is constantly used by people who throw Heaven in all of our faces. These are also the same people that don’t see any resemblances between the basic premises and stories of the religions of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. But whatever, they’re the smart ones.

So yes, I’m sure God is looking down on all of us from his cloud throne and clapping wildly and cheering on this congregation. Only he’s clapping to cue the next flood to wipe this shit out because human beings are garbage and treat each other horribly and he needs to start over. (You know that’s what would happen, if I didn’t believe in evolution.)

 +4Posted on May 30th, 2012 | re: James Franco Breaks His Legendary Silence On HBO's Girls (47 comments)

I’d like those last few moments of my life back. Good golly that was a painful read. That boy CANNOT write.

Just found who won’t be inventing the next cure for cancer. Because his mom would clearly make fun of him for playing with a beaker and graduated cylinder. Or he’d get his hand stuck in the cylinder. It’s a toss up.

 +4Posted on May 24th, 2012 | re: Even Geniuses Are 15 At Some Point (42 comments)

Completely amazing. How sad is it that after listening to him, I immediately wondered what adult in the medical community is going to fuck this up because it is TOO cheap and TOO good, and well, the CEOs at big pharma can’t have that now, now can they.

Sigh.

But anyway, awesome job kid! You are truly the best.

 +2Posted on May 3rd, 2012 | re: Friday Night Lights Movie Kind Of Confirmed! Again! (28 comments)

Screw all of this.. JUST BRING BACK THE SHOW. I hear Hulu is hiring for shows.

Sooooo….is no one else worried about the homophobism (it is sort of a word…) of Wheat Thins? Why would they hire him to schlep their product?

 +4Posted on Apr 23rd, 2012 | re: The Perfect (Not Perfect) Crime: Stealing A Penguin From Sea World (15 comments)

Totally true: a third grader stole a penguin from our zoo on a school field trip. Put the little guy in his backpack, got on the school bus, went back to school, and went home. Mom opened the backpack and saw the stunned penguin and immediately called the zoo. The zookeeper she talked to said to put the penguin in the freezer and they’d be over in an hour to pick him up.

SHOULDA PUT THE LITTLE GUY IN THE FREEZER. That would have been the perfect crime.

 +10Posted on Apr 18th, 2012 | re: Pat Robertson Rests His Case About Global Warming (67 comments)

Pat Robertson has had his one required “smart moment” of his lifetime when he said that marijuana should be legalized and the war against marijuana just hurts poor, black kids and unnecessarily clogs up the jail and judicial system with sentences that are not equal to the crime. That was easily the sanest thing I’ve ever heard out of him. So he’s done. We can’t expect two epiphanies in one lifetime from him because well, he is freaking crazy.

 +3Posted on Apr 17th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Robert Downey Jr. (110 comments)

I’d feel better if I was Batman instead of Ironman.

 +3Posted on Mar 28th, 2012 | re: Who Should Be Our Generation's Darrin Stephens? (43 comments)

I say Mike Tomlin for ANYTHING Omar Epps is in. (He is still in stuff now that House is over, right?) (Very good use of the word “stuff” as well.)

*This would be much more compelling if I knew how to embed a picture. Ughff.

 +2Posted on Mar 28th, 2012 | re: Normal Couple Has Normal Twilight Wedding/Life (10 comments)

I agree. I upvoted you because when I read that I thought – “controlling bitch.” And immediately felt bad for the guy; he obviously has not put the pieces together to figure out what his life is about to be like.

 +1Posted on Mar 28th, 2012 | re: Normal Couple Has Normal Twilight Wedding/Life (10 comments)

I got married on the beach and my parents hated it. I should show them this to make them feel better. And God help me, I looked through the slideshow. Weird. Just weird. The picture of her next to a bed that resembled the honeymoon bed is creepy.

That. And because there are literally MILLIONS OF IDIOTS that watch her show/buy her crap/read the magazines that write about her. To me, the people that “patron” her “business” are bigger idiots than she is.

 +5Posted on Feb 8th, 2012 | re: The Rock Will Be President Someday, Says The Rock (45 comments)

How in the Hell is Santorum still in this…let alone WINNING states? WTF? I truly don’t understand. There is not one ounce of me that understands how he can think the way he does AND has supporters of that very fucked up thought process. Ugh, I’m going to go stick hot sticks in my eyes while I wish for a world where The Rock is a presidential candidate.

 +7Posted on Feb 8th, 2012 | re: The Rock Will Be President Someday, Says The Rock (45 comments)

The Rock/Marky Mark ticket will be a total winner. I’m making buttons now.

 +5Posted on Feb 1st, 2012 | re: Channing Tatum Tries To Prank Run With The Big Prank Dogs (50 comments)

Woah, woah, woah. You mean to tell me that the prank isn’t his entire “acting” career? Bull!

I did not see this before I posted it in the Christian Bale fight post…

 +6Posted on Jan 20th, 2012 | re: Fight-Stopper Christian Bale, The Ryan Gosling Of Batmans (30 comments)

As always, the bigger question: WWMMHD? (What would Marky Mark Hypothetically do?)

 0Posted on Jan 19th, 2012 | re: Zooey Deschanel Jumps On The "I Was Bullied" Train (78 comments)

She is LYING. I know what school she went to. I used to work there. That is the most amazing middle/high school in the area, that provides an incredible and unparalleled educational experience. The school basically exists to acknowledge and foster the uniqueness of each individual student. It helps that a ton of “industry” people have gone there and they have oodles and oodles and oodles of money…but still…I am calling shenanigans on her being “tormented”.

 +5Posted on Dec 22nd, 2011 | re: Uhh, Did YOU Guys Know About This Kris Jenner Music Video? (29 comments)

This tip was from SCOTT…if there really is a Christmaskuah I hope it was sent in by her son-in-law Scott. That would be the best.

 +7Posted on Dec 21st, 2011 | re: Wait, What IS Your Holiday Vacation Viewing List? (141 comments)

4 or 5 years ago my husband and both had the death-flu on Christmas and were trapped in bed sleeping/watching TV. We weren’t prepared for that and didn’t have new DVDs on hand. HOWEVER – the G4 channes was running an Arrested Development marathon. My husband exclaimed “It’s like Christmas!” And then he coughed. And slept.

Long story short – Arrested Development is wonderful.

 +2Posted on Dec 21st, 2011 | re: Wait, What IS Your Holiday Vacation Viewing List? (141 comments)

How do you “rent” a movie? I’m confused. Has Netflix gone back and changed to Qwikster?