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vicarhelmet

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 +2Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: "Dudeism" Is Not A Religion (111 comments)

Dammit, too slow. Sorry, Sebastian Paper. (Although I object to the idea that Vgum commenters are assholes. Relax, Sebastian Paper!)

 +3Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: "Dudeism" Is Not A Religion (111 comments)

Say what you will about the tenets of Dudeism…at least it’s an ethos!

Oh good, they’ve finally released Kubrick’s cut of “Eyes Wide Shut.”

 +1Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow's Recipe For Roasted Chicken (95 comments)

“Jesus wept” seems more appropriate, here.

 -1Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow's Recipe For Roasted Chicken (95 comments)

I think, actually, the suggestion was that she needs a new mom herself, because Gwyneth Paltrow is clearly the product of irresponsible parenting. Basically, Gwyneth Paltrow needs more spankings.

(With that image in mind, I humbly throw my hat in the ring for the position of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Mommy.)

No, this is fine. The Videogum Moms Society needs to relax and realize that there’s nothing morally wrong with watching fake things happen to actors in a make-believe movie, no matter how gross it is. I don’t agree with you watching Saw, but I’ll defend to the death your right to do it, because America. Or something.

 +1Posted on Jul 10th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 5 (253 comments)

Funny? What do you mean I’m funny? Funny like a stand up comedian?

 -1Posted on Jul 10th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 5 (253 comments)

You ever dance with the devil in the broad daylight?

 +14Posted on Jul 10th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 5 (253 comments)

Funny story, “Play ‘As Time Goes By’ Sam” is actually the line that’s said in the movie. “Play it again, Sam” isn’t actually in the movie. It’s just the way people remembered it. A lot of quotations that sink into the cultural consciousness are actually misquotes, for some reason.

(Sorry, I know this isn’t movietriviagum.com.)

 +3Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 | re: Twilight Fans Closing In On Star Trek Fans For Title Of Saddest Fans (34 comments)

You haven’t read Hamlet until you’ve read it in its original Vampiric.

 +7Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 | re: Jay Leno Works On His Monologue Jokes As If That Was The Problem (25 comments)

A/S/L????

 +13Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 | re: Jay Leno Works On His Monologue Jokes As If That Was The Problem (25 comments)

It probably has more to do with the jaded, hip, snooty way you put your opinion out there. It’s not like your comment really invited a reasoned and informed debate. You catch more flies with honey than with saying “And I’m right about that.” Just sayin’.

 +7Posted on Jun 30th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank (188 comments)

I always thought The Fountainhead was more potent as a parable that teaches us the importance of personal and artistic integrity. I know that’s boiling it down a bit, but I don’t think you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. (The baby is the essential moral of the story, and the bathwater is Ayn Rand’s personal biases and weird issues with sex.)

That said, most people who love the book tend to be incorrigible jerkfaces.

 +4Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank (188 comments)

Woops, misread this. You actually LIKE Funny Games.

>>

<<

*runs away*

 +4Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank (188 comments)

I’m gonna third this. Funny Games is doubly bad because it’s trying to make a SRS BZNSS point about violence in movies in the most unbearably smug way possible. It tries to argue that it isn’t the thing it’s criticizing, but it is, and that should be the point, but it isn’t because Haneke is maddeningly pompous. GAH. You can’t have your cake and rewind time back so that you can have it too, Todd.

 +2Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank (188 comments)

Gran Torino should absolutely be Hunt material. It’s a Crash-caliber attempt at discussing race relations, and Eastwood makes himself into a Christ figure at the end. Seriously – he’s crucified by bullets. In the wrists. Some of it is kind of cute in that way that it’s kind of cute when your grandpa says things like “Charlie’s ruining the neighborhood,” except by kind of cute I mean kind of racist.

 +4Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank (188 comments)

I’m just happy Gabe knows what Leisure Suit Larry is.

 +6Posted on Jun 26th, 2009 | re: Have A Great Summer And Stay Sweet, You Guys! (221 comments)

I’m really bad at commenting on anything on the internet, but as a professional videogum lurker since day one, I will really, really miss your voice here! Sad day indeed. :( ((( Here’s hoping you land on your feet.